She cheated. Don´t know what to do now. (marriage, girls, loving)
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Me and my girlfriend were together for 2 and a half years. We had really good times and I loved her and I think she loved me really much. The last year of the relationship was full of mistrust, lying and arguing. She was still with her ex for the first 6 months because she didn´t know how to get rid of him and he was supporting her financially. She lied to me about it and I found out a year later. There were so many things that made me suspicious: Many male friends who were giving her attention. She also wanted to meet one of them one day but told me she just saw him as a friend and wanted be friendly.
All this plus that she lied to me about her ex made me mistrust her. We talked and argued about this stuff so so many times and to this day I can´t believe everything she told me because of inconsistencies in her stories. Because I couldn´t believe her, I was accusing her of cheating many times.
So the last two months were really rocky. We argued more and more. I wanted to talk about the past again and again because I was hoping that after she told me the truth, or what I was thinking was the truth, we could move on. At this time I just told her what I thought about her and her actions and it was quite ugly. I really hurt her. But still I don´t know if she told me the whole truth and that was killing me. At this time a few times I broke up and later came back and a few times also she did it. But I never gave up hope and wanted to work things out.
After this period she went on vacation. We even argued at this time and she ended the relationship. After she came back we met and thought about getting back together but I found out that she had an affair when she was on vacation. The affair started before she broke up and got really cold and distant. She told me that she wasn´t not that in love with me anymore and gave up hope on this relationship even before she went on vacation. But she didn´t broke up and wasn´t sure about us. But I had the feeling that she is quite into me but I guess she lost her feelings slowly because of the hard times. She told me she was hurt so much after I told her my opinion about her one month before she went on vacation.
So my problem now is that I feel guilty and I am thinking a big part that lead to her loosing her feelings and cheating is my fault. I couldn´t get over the past and came up with it like many times in the last year. My suspicions forced me to think bad about her as a person and telling her that. And I even don´t know if my suspicions were right. I love her like you can´t imagine but I also think I couldn´t get over the cheating. She wants me back and is begging me now.
Help, I would be happy about your opninions.
I can't help it, sorry..."My girlfriend and I...."
Me and my girlfriend were together for 2 and a half years. We had really good times and I loved her and I think she loved me really much. The last year of the relationship was full of mistrust, lying and arguing. She was still with her ex for the first 6 months because she didn´t know how to get rid of him and he was supporting her financially. She lied to me about it and I found out a year later. There were so many things that made me suspicious: Many male friends who were giving her attention. She also wanted to meet one of them one day but told me she just saw him as a friend and wanted be friendly.
All this plus that she lied to me about her ex made me mistrust her. We talked and argued about this stuff so so many times and to this day I can´t believe everything she told me because of inconsistencies in her stories. Because I couldn´t believe her, I was accusing her of cheating many times.
So the last two months were really rocky. We argued more and more. I wanted to talk about the past again and again because I was hoping that after she told me the truth, or what I was thinking was the truth, we could move on. At this time I just told her what I thought about her and her actions and it was quite ugly. I really hurt her. But still I don´t know if she told me the whole truth and that was killing me. At this time a few times I broke up and later came back and a few times also she did it. But I never gave up hope and wanted to work things out.
After this period she went on vacation. We even argued at this time and she ended the relationship. After she came back we met and thought about getting back together but I found out that she had an affair when she was on vacation. The affair started before she broke up and got really cold and distant. She told me that she wasn´t not that in love with me anymore and gave up hope on this relationship even before she went on vacation. But she didn´t broke up and wasn´t sure about us. But I had the feeling that she is quite into me but I guess she lost her feelings slowly because of the hard times. She told me she was hurt so much after I told her my opinion about her one month before she went on vacation.
So my problem now is that I feel guilty and I am thinking a big part that lead to her loosing her feelings and cheating is my fault. I couldn´t get over the past and came up with it like many times in the last year. My suspicions forced me to think bad about her as a person and telling her that. And I even don´t know if my suspicions were right. I love her like you can´t imagine but I also think I couldn´t get over the cheating. She wants me back and is begging me now.
Help, I would be happy about your opninions.
Moving on...
You should move on now. A dating relationship this hard and complicated is not one you want to cling to.
You both seem to need time to get your heads on straight. She is begging you out of fear and that will not produce a solid foundation to try to rebuild on. Sorry
Either you were or you weren't. You would know. Because most people get the hang of each other the first couple of times. I can't fathom what it was you were doing and calling "sex." After all, you called showering with Hooters Girl "sex" when it was nothing close to it.
Well, have a nice, celibate life without a companion, children or grandchildren. I hope it doesn't pass by too slowly. 70 more years is a very long time but I guess it doesn't seem so at your age. Bon chance!
I had no intention of ever having kids or getting married anyways. I just don't have it in me to do it again. It's not like I'm missing out on anything.
I actually got as far as the end of the first paragraph.
Original Poster: Read everything you wrote then ask yourself if you want to continue to live like this, then put on your big kid underoos and make a decision about your own life.
No one can make that decision for you and certainly random strangers on a public forum would have no idea what you should do and how you should live your life.
If it is true that this is the third month you have posted the same issue then you must like living like that.
PS ~~ one does not "loose" feelings but one does "lose" feelings, there is a vast difference between the two words.
stick a fork in this relationship because it is DONE. she cheated on you, and you feel guilty? stop that right now. she made a conscious decision to cheat.
I had no intention of ever having kids or getting married anyways. I just don't have it in me to do it again. It's not like I'm missing out on anything.
I hope you will keep your word about this. But your history says otherwise. You have a problem with honesty, as has been pointed out many times.
and obviously many of the other recent bizarre threads about badly behaved ladies.
What exactly is your issue with women?
Ah what is wrong with this people. I felt some thing like same. what is this nonsense so is she writing as his boy friend? Now I feel like nuts after reading this messy posts.
I am. I can say I had 2 girlfriend's in my life and will be satisfied with that. Now, it's about me and only me from here on out.
Sadly, I don't think relationships of such short duration really count as "having a girlfriend." I think you could more honestly say you "tried starting a relationship with two different women but they weren't interested in continuing."
If this is about bragging rights, I don't think you meet the criteria. All along it seemed as though you were more interested in saying you had a girlfriend than actually entering into a mutually satisfying relationship with someone.
You have said in the past that "sex is overrated" and you don't really enjoy it, so I suspect you just aren't into women that much. Don't you agree that they did the right thing by leaving you (though maybe not in the right way)?
Sadly, I don't think relationships of such short duration really count as "having a girlfriend." I think you could more honestly say you "tried starting a relationship with two different women but they weren't interested in continuing."
If this is about bragging rights, I don't think you meet the criteria. All along it seemed as though you were more interested in saying you had a girlfriend than actually entering into a mutually satisfying relationship with someone.
You have said in the past that "sex is overrated" and you don't really enjoy it, so I suspect you just aren't into women that much. Don't you agree that they did the right thing by leaving you (though maybe not in the right way)?
I have to say I agree. I am just not meant to be a good boyfriend to a woman or offer anything to a woman. Honestly, there are some people who aren't meant to be in relationships. I believe I'm one of those people. I didn't love these women and I haven't come close to loving one. I don't mean to sound negative but this is how I genuinely feel.
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