Should I move from my beloved state of Arizona? (boyfriend, therapy, husband)

[Angelwngs]

Well, my fiance has an opportunity to become a manager of the company he works for. I am not listing the company name for obvious reasons (I don't want his manager to see this). He goes for training in February and the training is 4 months long and ends in May when the end of my lease is. He could stay here in Phoenix, but we think it's best if we move somewhere else because we will probably have a better life and be able to rekindle our love better. Because my ex lives here in Arizona who I was going back and forth between him and my fiance, I don't think staying here in Arizona is a good idea because I have mental issues and sometimes I let my feelings get in the way of my better judgement. Plus I'm not sure what the living situation would be if me and him stayed in Arizona. I love Arizona I don't want to leave at all, because I was born and raised here. I was born at Banner Good Samaritan. I don't know what to do. I'm scared that if I move to another state I am going to become homesick. Tell me what you think.

[CSD610]

Stay in Arizona, seek professional therapy and give you and the boyfriend time apart to decide what you really want to do in the future.

[Packard fan]

Originally Posted by CSD610

Stay in Arizona, seek professional therapy and give you and the boyfriend time apart to decide what you really want to do in the future.

Agreed.

[corydon]

what state is the new job

[Angelwngs]

Originally Posted by corydon

what state is the new job

We don't know yet, it depends where they need a manager after his training.

[Angelwngs]

Originally Posted by CSD610

Stay in Arizona, seek professional therapy and give you and the boyfriend time apart to decide what you really want to do in the future.

What makes you say I need to seek professional therapy? I can seek professional therapy elsewhere you know. I have Medicare.

[stevek64]

IMHO, if I were living in a place that I love, I wouldn't let external factors dictate my life on where to live. I'd work around them/learn to deal with them. I think the simple reason is if the underlying issues aren't solved in how you react to things in life, you could just as well end up in the same type of situation you are in now in another state/city. Always remember....whereever you move, you take yourself with you.

And has been mentioned earlier, if need be, seek professional therapy to sort it all out.

Best to you.

[observer53]

Yes, you could get counseling anywhere, but if things end up worse for you after you move, because you are homesick or because there are issues with your boyfriend, you'll have more problems to deal with, and in a strange place you may not like, to boot. The fact that your relationship is such that you've been "going back and forth between your boyfriend and your ex" raises red flags, too.

And, this thread probably belongs more in the Relationships forum than this one, as it isn't really connected to Phoenix, you could be posting this thread about any city in the country.

[CSD610]

Originally Posted by Angelwngs

What makes you say I need to seek professional therapy? I can seek professional therapy elsewhere you know. I have Medicare.

Have you read what you wrote in your original post?
If you haven't you should, maybe you will find out something about yourself you didn't know.

Read every word and write down all of the "Cons & Issues" you foresee from this move.

Cripes, you can't even decide between your ex husband and your "Fiance" who really isn't a true Fiance if you can't give up your ex husband for good because you can't make up your mind.

I strongly suggest your "Fiance" move without you for now, you stay where you are, seek therapy to get control of your written perceived issues, get over your ex husband or go back to him and spend time apart from the Fiance who really does need to concentrate on his training anyway without outside distractions.

[Packard fan]

Originally Posted by CSD610

Have you read what you wrote in your original post?
If you haven't you should, maybe you will find out something about yourself you didn't know.

Read every word and write down all of the "Cons & Issues" you foresee from this move.

Cripes, you can't even decide between your ex husband and your "Fiance" who really isn't a true Fiance if you can't give up your ex husband for good because you can't make up your mind.

I strongly suggest your "Fiance" move without you for now, you stay where you are, seek therapy to get control of your written perceived issues, get over your ex husband or go back to him and spend time apart from the Fiance who really does need to concentrate on his training anyway without outside distractions.

I just went through a situation with a lady who couldn't make up her mind between me and her ex so I cut her loose. So I know where you're coming from taking with angelwngs over her situation.