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dont look at it as a job, look at it as a hobby, a very pleasurable one.
Exactly. 49ers, if you don't find talking to women enjoyable, something's wrong. Maybe you're laying too many expectations on casual encounters. That's not the way you should be doing it.
Not anymore. She like the last girl cheated on me. Oh and even the average women are out of my league. I won't date a woman I'm not attracted to and the women I want will say no. I'm just gonna be single. That's not a bad thing though. Whenever I do date a decent looking woman she ends up cheating on me and betraying my trust. Not risking it anyore until I finish therapy.
I'm sorry to hear about your past relationships, but for your own sake, you should make a real effort to get better with women. Ignore all the negative, angry, passive-aggressive people on the internet and surround yourself with pleasant women in real life. If you're from California, I've been all over this state and there are plenty of friendly girls here.
Follow the advice below until your problem is solved. You can argue with yourself all you want, but exposure therapy is clinically proven. It's the sort of thing I do to get out of a rut, and it would also be impossible for you not to become comfortable talking to girls if you just do the following:
1. Ask ten girls a day for directions someplace. Just get a quick answer and move on to the next girl. They don't need to be attractive, and it may be more useful if they're not. Many guys who are uncomfortable with attractive girls don't have much experience with less attractive ones and consequently don't know what to do with a hottie. Frequently, guys who date really hot girls will have also dated really ugly ones too - and they won't hesitate to tell you that sometimes a 6 will be outstanding in bed and much better than many 10s.
After a while, you'll get mentally used to going up to girls and asking for directions. You won't have a fear of "approaching women" because you just did it. That's literally all "approaching women" is, and you might find yourself running to girls. When you really feel like it's an easy and unnecessary step...
2. Make casual conversation with ten girls a day. It can be about anything and it doesn't have to be a full-blown conversation. It won't be hard at all to do this since you'll have already talked to a ton of girls previously. You can also just continue asking for directions and turn that into a conversation by asking if she's ever been there, etc.
A girl can only be excited to talk to you, polite (whether interested or not), or rude. That's all that can possibly happen. From my experience, if you do either of the above, girls will usually just be polite. When you start to get more aggressive, it's more polarizing. I prefer to be more aggressive and direct. I actually prefer to have some girls get unnecessarily pissed (assuming I was being reasonable) because it's hilarious and these are never good girls to have in relationships in the first place.
I would say that a typical guy, after he's become comfortable talking to girls, will on average get laid around once per twenty approaches. It may be 1 in under 15 or 1 in over 30, depending on his looks and hers, but I'd say 1 in 20 sounds right. What if the best sex you'll ever have is only 20 approaches away? I'd do 1000
If I were in your position, I wouldn't spend any more time on this forum and would be outside constantly meeting girls.
Do you see the contradiction in the bolded parts? It's like saying "I broke my leg, so I went to the dentist for a teeth cleaning".
Your thoughts are the problem, and you're trying to fix your situation by going to a gym?
I know that counseling and therapy are often suggested here and many take offence to that. Honestly, the people who are posting things like this on the internet very likely need to speak to a professional, yet take the easy way out and post to random, non-professionals on messageboards. Short of telling you to get help to change your thinking, there is not much else we can do for you here.
Yes Liberty, this is true.
It comes down to laziness. It is one thing all these sad sacks have in common.
When things are too hard they just give up and whine about how unfair it all is.
The good news is that real life will hit them like a train one day, and give them something to REALLY cry about.
dont look at it as a job, look at it as a hobby, a very pleasurable one.
Yes, but you are speaking as someone who actually likes women. Imagine what a nightmare it would be to have to talk to creatures you hate and fear, just so you can... well, I don't know why he would actually.
It comes down to laziness. It is one thing all these sad sacks have in common.
When things are too hard they just give up and whine about how unfair it all is.
The good news is that real life will hit them like a train one day, and give them something to REALLY cry about.
Why is it you doubt those of us who state we know that women are not interested in us? We know our situations better than anyone else. No hate, laziness, whining or sad sackiness ( if that's a word).
Why is it you doubt those of us who state we know that women are not interested in us? We know our situations better than anyone else. No hate, laziness, whining or sad sackiness ( if that's a word).
If you think nothing is worth trying, why are you here?
Not anymore. She like the last girl cheated on me. Oh and even the average women are out of my league. I won't date a woman I'm not attracted to and the women I want will say no. I'm just gonna be single. That's not a bad thing though. Whenever I do date a decent looking woman she ends up cheating on me and betraying my trust. Not risking it anyore until I finish therapy.
If you think nothing is worth trying, why are you here?
Way to avoid the question by asking another in return.
To answer your question I come to see if any of the posts will refute twenty years of evidence that women are not interested in me. Some come close but not completely. So I keep looking.
Last edited by jma501; 10-14-2014 at 07:29 PM..
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