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I'm glad to hear you found someone. So far I've had far better luck IRL interactions. Like I said before, I think if a lot of people were simply given the chance, they'd really shine with some of these people on there. It's getting the chance to do it that seems elusive, if not impossible.
Yeah one of the posters asked you why don't you make friends any of these girls. It's not a bad suggestion, you could meet a friend of hers or maybe develop into something. But when women aren't into you, they usually stop responding or don't respond to begin with. The friend zone usually happens when 2 people work together or have mutual friends. Usually one person likes the other, but the feeling's not mutual.
How do you make friends when that person doesn't return calls or keeps flaking?
I do think men have it tougher simply because there are so many more of them on the sites.
However, I also think a lot of men make it harder on themselves than it has to be by assuming women desire the same kinds of attention they do. No, it's not particularly flattering to get an inbox full of commentary on one's body when you are a woman. Men eat that stuff up and regard it as admiration. Women tend to feel like it comes from a place of disrespect, like that's all a guy is interested in, especially if she takes the time to craft a few paragraphs and he obviously couldn't be assed to read them. Some guys give off the impression that they are sitting there with lotion and a box of tissues, pointing the mouse, clicking, and grunting when they see a pair of boobs they like, and they think being lewd is some kind of compliment. Actually, it's tedious and one-dimensional, like all you have to offer is your peen? Ho hum.
I've seen a herd of guys on Tinder before and this pretty much sums up my observation.
I do take a little more time to craft messages for a particular girl. Not to say that I don't receive any feedback, because I do. But I certainly don't have girls falling all over themselves when I do put in the effort either. So it makes me think that there are enough other guys either doing this, or they're getting sucked into the pick-up artist game. I have no idea.
Yeah one of the posters asked you why don't you make friends any of these girls. It's not a bad suggestion, you could meet a friend of hers or maybe develop into something. But when women aren't into you, they usually stop responding or don't respond to begin with. The friend zone usually happens when 2 people work together or have mutual friends. Usually one person likes the other, but the feeling's not mutual.
How do you make friends when that person doesn't return calls or keeps flaking?
I do have a good amount of women friends. I'm chatting with one now, as a matter of fact. I think she likes me, but she's also very guarded. When I was hanging out with her this weekend, she was very touchy-feely with me. I've had others that wanted to sleep with me, and we fooled around a bit, but the attraction just wasn't there in the end (mostly on my end ).
The girl I've been dating lately is kind of my main priority at the moment. She's great, but a little more standoffish than I'm used to. That said, she's still shown interest in continuing dating. I met her IRL through a co-ed sports league.
So yeah, real-life experience is the way to go IMO.
Yeah one of the posters asked you why don't you make friends any of these girls. It's not a bad suggestion, you could meet a friend of hers or maybe develop into something. But when women aren't into you, they usually stop responding or don't respond to begin with. The friend zone usually happens when 2 people work together or have mutual friends. Usually one person likes the other, but the feeling's not mutual.
How do you make friends when that person doesn't return calls or keeps flaking?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lafleur
I do have a good amount of women friends. I'm chatting with one now, as a matter of fact. I think she likes me, but she's also very guarded. When I was hanging out with her this weekend, she was very touchy-feely with me. I've had others that wanted to sleep with me, and we fooled around a bit, but the attraction just wasn't there in the end (mostly on my end ).
The girl I've been dating lately is kind of my main priority at the moment. She's great, but a little more standoffish than I'm used to. That said, she's still shown interest in continuing dating. I met her IRL through a co-ed sports league.
So yeah, real-life experience is the way to go IMO.
Yeah that's how it usually goes, one person's not into the other. Lol but were human, what can we do?
It's tough all right. I was having some problems with my SO about 6 months ago so I thought 'what if we did split'...would OLD work for me? This was POF and the first couple of weeks I got about 5 messages where they initiated contact. My theory on that was they probably plant a few "initiators" on the site and give them some free upgrades to keep you interested. The couple of women I did send messages to responded, but there was no discussion of setting up a date. I would hate to have to use the OLD as a primary means to get a relationship started.
It's tough all right. I was having some problems with my SO about 6 months ago so I thought 'what if we did split'...would OLD work for me? This was POF and the first couple of weeks I got about 5 messages where they initiated contact. My theory on that was they probably plant a few "initiators" on the site and give them some free upgrades to keep you interested. The couple of women I did send messages to responded, but there was no discussion of setting up a date. I would hate to have to use the OLD as a primary means to get a relationship started.
After you send about 3 messages you have to send your number to call and set up a date
Needless to say my inbox is empty. Most of the women can't even be bothered to read what you have to say let alone respond to a man. My OLD experience as a man has honestly made me a bit cynical toward dating over all. Why do women even sign up if they don't even read the messages? Just there to get attention and validate their own egos? "I get 20+ guys a day asking me out, I am so hot" Yes...you can hear my cynicism coming through.
This experience makes it hard to have any sympathy for women that say they can't find a man. Maybe it is different where you live but in Montana it sucks for men here. I am not a freak, I don't have a crazy profile, and I send respectful messages. I used to spend a few minutes writing up a message but I don't anymore because most of the time a woman won't even bother to read it.
Online dating is meant for one reason: hooking up.
When I was hanging out with her this weekend, she was very touchy-feely with me. I've had others that wanted to sleep with me, and we fooled around a bit, but the attraction just wasn't there in the end (mostly on my end ).
Really, you don't see that they "hang out" with you because they are attracted to you, not because they are you friend? Your life experience is apparently considerably different than that of the average man, I would be hesitant to take dating advice from you.
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