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Old 10-14-2014, 07:29 PM
 
422 posts, read 443,376 times
Reputation: 101

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He sits far away from me (like I have the cooties) and sometimes rolls his eyes at me, but always manages to stare me up and down?

He acts disinterested (looks at his watch like he's checking the time because he has to go) but turns around and asks to drive me home??? Only to look at his watch when he drops me off again? Like I'm a bother?

He tries to bully me around and tell me what to do only to shut down on me and not speak to me once I get fed-up and put him in his place?

I know it sounds so High School and we ARE adults, but, can someone please tell me wtf is going on, here?

We have really good conversations and he is always complimenting me and watching me and I can tell he enjoys my company, however...

We're not friends, just associates, but he makes me feel so bad about myself. Like he can't stand me. I never initiate anything with him (and certainly not romantic)...at least not anymore. I'm just afraid he is going to try and hurt my feelings.

What is this about/should I do?
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Old 10-14-2014, 07:41 PM
 
9,408 posts, read 13,691,475 times
Reputation: 20394
He's a sociopath and you're acting like a doormat. Stop having contact with him. If someone makes you feel like crap then why on earth would you even care about a reason?
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Old 10-14-2014, 07:51 PM
 
422 posts, read 443,376 times
Reputation: 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna View Post
He's a sociopath and you're acting like a doormat. Stop having contact with him. If someone makes you feel like crap then why on earth would you even care about a reason?
Thanks Djuna. Didn't realize I was acting in such a manner. I'm just...well, a nice girl. Maybe he's taking my kindness for weakness.
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Old 10-14-2014, 08:12 PM
 
1,823 posts, read 2,830,115 times
Reputation: 2830
Quote:
Originally Posted by MakeLoveNotWar View Post
He sits far away from me (like I have the cooties) and sometimes rolls his eyes at me, but always manages to stare me up and down?

He acts disinterested (looks at his watch like he's checking the time because he has to go) but turns around and asks to drive me home??? Only to look at his watch when he drops me off again? Like I'm a bother?

He tries to bully me around and tell me what to do only to shut down on me and not speak to me once I get fed-up and put him in his place?

I know it sounds so High School and we ARE adults, but, can someone please tell me wtf is going on, here?

We have really good conversations and he is always complimenting me and watching me and I can tell he enjoys my company, however...

We're not friends, just associates, but he makes me feel so bad about myself. Like he can't stand me. I never initiate anything with him (and certainly not romantic)...at least not anymore. I'm just afraid he is going to try and hurt my feelings.

What is this about/should I do?
Sounds to me like he likes you, a lot, but is intimidated by his feelings for you. He doesn't like the hold you have over him because it makes him feel powerless, so he "puts you in your place" to make himself feel better, less insecure, and more in control.

In short, he's insecure and immature and I would stay away from him. He doesn't know how to handle or express his feelings properly.
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Old 10-14-2014, 08:18 PM
 
341 posts, read 452,257 times
Reputation: 338
I laughed when I read the part about you not being in high school bcs I was thinking "they must still be in high school".

I don't understand men that behave like this. I guess the cat and mouse thing is fun for him. And the hot and cold thing can be a little intriguing for a very short while. But if he's making you feel bad about yourself, just cut him off. You don't need to deal with people like that. Doesn't seem like there are enough positives to counteract the negatives.
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Old 10-14-2014, 08:27 PM
 
422 posts, read 443,376 times
Reputation: 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by Six Axe View Post
Unprovoked mistreatment is what some guys do to establish boundaries and earn a place or title. Also known as clarifying roles and objectives.

Shame on him for that.

Very interesting. Thanks.
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Old 10-14-2014, 08:29 PM
 
Location: NY
9,131 posts, read 19,866,675 times
Reputation: 11706
Sounds like a real jerk to me.

Find someone who treats you with respect.
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Old 10-14-2014, 08:36 PM
 
422 posts, read 443,376 times
Reputation: 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by stava View Post
Sounds to me like he likes you, a lot, but is intimidated by his feelings for you. He doesn't like the hold you have over him because it makes him feel powerless, so he "puts you in your place" to make himself feel better, less insecure, and more in control.

In short, he's insecure and immature and I would stay away from him. He doesn't know how to handle or express his feelings properly.
Thanks.

So you don't think he's like a sociopath or anything? Such as the other poster mentioned? It's ok, and I'm not saying anyone's right or wrong, but, I just find it fascinating the extremes in opinions.

I have noticed also that he seems to shrivel up when I walk near him and immediately flushes red. *shrugs* yeah! he's definitely immature.
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Old 10-14-2014, 08:39 PM
 
Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
2,365 posts, read 2,132,785 times
Reputation: 3814
Quote:
Originally Posted by MakeLoveNotWar View Post
He sits far away from me (like I have the cooties) and sometimes rolls his eyes at me, but always manages to stare me up and down?

He acts disinterested (looks at his watch like he's checking the time because he has to go) but turns around and asks to drive me home??? Only to look at his watch when he drops me off again? Like I'm a bother?

He tries to bully me around and tell me what to do only to shut down on me and not speak to me once I get fed-up and put him in his place?

I know it sounds so High School and we ARE adults, but, can someone please tell me wtf is going on, here?

We have really good conversations and he is always complimenting me and watching me and I can tell he enjoys my company, however...

We're not friends, just associates, but he makes me feel so bad about myself. Like he can't stand me. I never initiate anything with him (and certainly not romantic)...at least not anymore. I'm just afraid he is going to try and hurt my feelings.

What is this about/should I do?
Im not sure. You know him better than I do, through your association, he's goofing around and being friendly, without trying to seem too interested.

How he makes you feel is how you are making you feel. Its your interpretation of his actions. He seems to want to present himself as a man, and you putting him in his place leads to that reaction, Ok, Im in my place now. Your fear is your problem, and probably is not a fear that stems from your association with him.

You seem more interested in him than you are confessing to. No one worries so much about what a mere co-worker/fellow student is thinking and feeling afterall.
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Old 10-14-2014, 08:39 PM
 
422 posts, read 443,376 times
Reputation: 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by chrissycs View Post
I laughed when I read the part about you not being in high school bcs I was thinking "they must still be in high school".

I don't understand men that behave like this. I guess the cat and mouse thing is fun for him. And the hot and cold thing can be a little intriguing for a very short while. But if he's making you feel bad about yourself, just cut him off. You don't need to deal with people like that. Doesn't seem like there are enough positives to counteract the negatives.

loooool no,we are full-blown adults. I know, I know...shame!
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