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Old 10-16-2014, 12:23 PM
 
Location: Northville, MI
11,879 posts, read 14,145,906 times
Reputation: 6376

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChickenPox View Post
can you imagine a 40-year-old woman?
I've seen quite a few 40 year olds who look hot in bikinis.
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Old 10-16-2014, 12:30 PM
 
4,828 posts, read 4,263,093 times
Reputation: 4766
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
Well, you have men on this forum (and elsewhere) thinking they have plenty of time to settle down. They'll just focus on themselves and their careers and snag a hot younger woman when they're ready.
I actually disagree with this. I've never had much attraction for younger women, even though I have went on some dates with them. When it comes to my relationships, all the women were older than me by 6 months plus. I know these guys exist, but I've never wanted to be the 30 year old guy dating a 22 year old female. Too much gap in life experiences. I just went on a date last month with a 23 year old. We had fun, but she ultimately felt we didn't have much in common. I wouldn't exactly disagree with her either. She was up there in the most sexy person I went out on a date with, but our lives were so quite a bit different in what was fun for her and what was fun for me.

Older women have always been more my speed, but the hurdle to overcome is older women and their children. I live in an area where an abundance of older women have children, or have been married and divorced with children. I'm capable of bending on children, but I'm not ready to bend on a deadbeat dad. I'm not ready for cancelled plans, because he couldn't get the kid(s) tonight, because he had a date or something else to do. It just seems too much for me to take on in a relationship that would be very young in nature. Guess you can say it feels too much like I'm coming into a role where it's best for us to live together after 4 months, because I'm going to expect this jackhole to keep acting childish. There's a lot of good women who bet on the man they married to step up and mature like them and the men sadly disappointed. The reason I know is because I'm still really good friends with my single parent ex of earlier this year. That's just my opinion though.
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Old 10-16-2014, 12:32 PM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
5,353 posts, read 5,771,382 times
Reputation: 6561
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
Well, you're not in your 30s anymore, so why don't you look at 40 something women?
I want kids, as I've mentioned on here. Also, I'm in better shape and look younger than women I've met who are the same age. I never expected to have to look for someone at this age. Wasn't my life plan, but found myself divorced at 40. It really sucks.
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Old 10-16-2014, 12:34 PM
 
295 posts, read 306,001 times
Reputation: 508
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
Also, I'm in better shape and look younger than women I've met who are the same age.
So you ask for their ID first, I guess...
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Old 10-16-2014, 12:44 PM
 
Location: Canada
11,756 posts, read 11,954,025 times
Reputation: 30181
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
Its my age and location. With OLD, 30 something year old women don't look at me because I'm 46. Also, I live in the worst city (with population over a million) in America for dating.
But you also said way back that Atlanta sucked for dating too.

Have you ever tried any tools or techniques to get you out of your shell and more comfortable? Maybe that's what is tripping you up instead of just every place being lousy for dating? Just a thought.
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Old 10-16-2014, 12:52 PM
 
5,121 posts, read 6,777,780 times
Reputation: 5833
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
I want kids, as I've mentioned on here. Also, I'm in better shape and look younger than women I've met who are the same age. I never expected to have to look for someone at this age. Wasn't my life plan, but found myself divorced at 40. It really sucks.
If you are young looking for your age and are looking for a younger woman because you want to start a family, OLD is probably not the best bet for you--I bet in a lot of cases you are screened out before anyone even sees you (you have to set a search criteria and age range is an easy thing to limit).

Maybe speed dating events would work better? Have you tried those. They usually have an age range and you probably could go to one where you can meet a 30-something woman. Those things (at least where I live) always seem to sell out for women and they need more men too.

Another option would be a singles club. Even one geared for people in their 30s could work. Ages in those groups can often just be a suggestion or the main age of the group.
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Old 10-16-2014, 01:21 PM
 
4,038 posts, read 4,842,089 times
Reputation: 5352
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
But you also said way back that Atlanta sucked for dating too.

Have you ever tried any tools or techniques to get you out of your shell and more comfortable? Maybe that's what is tripping you up instead of just every place being lousy for dating? Just a thought.
This is probably the right Rx for Atlguy. He's said in the past that he's shy, so that's what he should work on. He had the perfect window for dating those 30-somethings when he found himself single at 40, but he missed it because of his shyness, I'm guessing. Dude, before any more of your life flies by, it could be time to bite the bullet and consider some counseling. Or just force yourself to be more outgoing. Push yourself, and eventually it'll become the new routine.
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Old 10-16-2014, 01:23 PM
 
4,038 posts, read 4,842,089 times
Reputation: 5352
Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean View Post
If you are young looking for your age and are looking for a younger woman because you want to start a family, OLD is probably not the best bet for you--I bet in a lot of cases you are screened out before anyone even sees you (you have to set a search criteria and age range is an easy thing to limit).

Maybe speed dating events would work better? Have you tried those. They usually have an age range and you probably could go to one where you can meet a 30-something woman. Those things (at least where I live) always seem to sell out for women and they need more men too.

Another option would be a singles club. Even one geared for people in their 30s could work. Ages in those groups can often just be a suggestion or the main age of the group.
True, OLD isn't a good venue for the OP, given his situation. Some of those speed-dating events go by agegroup, and group 36+ with 40-somethings. It could work. It could be good practice for him to get out of his shell, too.
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Old 10-16-2014, 02:00 PM
 
Location: USA
30,560 posts, read 21,714,990 times
Reputation: 18829
Quote:
Originally Posted by southkakkatlantan View Post
Let's face it...some of us have flaws that prevent us from being in a healthy monogamous relationship with another person we desire.

I have been giving this some thought lately. Now at 35, sometimes I do wonder "if it's me". Now, on one hand, I totally believe that not everyone will find someone. It's just life. And luck. It ain't gonna happen for everyone. But on the other hand, I think I'm fairly attractive...independent...pretty easy to get along with...good-hearted...yada yada yada...so I think I 'should' have someone. And I remain patient. But sometimes I start to thinking...maybe I'm not putting myself out there enough, or maybe I'm too shy, or too picky, or this or that.

Has anyone here ever come to a conclusion of something they were doing wrong in the dating game/game of love and adjusted something about yourself as a result? Or even more interestingly, have you been told by someone/other people some thing or things you needed to change?
" I think I'm fairly attractive...independent...pretty easy to get along with...good-hearted"
Maybe you should get input from someone else, or specifically a man since friends will tend to agree with you.
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Old 10-16-2014, 02:11 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,634 posts, read 34,129,603 times
Reputation: 76637
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
But you also said way back that Atlanta sucked for dating too.

Have you ever tried any tools or techniques to get you out of your shell and more comfortable? Maybe that's what is tripping you up instead of just every place being lousy for dating? Just a thought.
This is true. He talks about OKC like it's a one-stoplight cowtown and not a state capital and home to universities, hospitals, businesses, law firms, cultural institutions, etc (and home to all the women who work for those places.) Granted, it's not a huge metropolis, but I don't believe that all the women are either ugly or have been married since they turned 22.

Last edited by fleetiebelle; 10-16-2014 at 03:05 PM..
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