Why do some guys act cold towards the girl they like? (cheated, children)
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"Try thinking about someone else for a change?" Sorry, I'll always come first. Is it selfish? Maybe. But at the end of the day, nobody has my back like I do. Women come and go.
It's possible to think about someone else without sacrificing so much of yourself that you lose your own back.
Not only that, but successful relationships require compromise and sometimes that means putting the other person's needs above your own.
There's a balance, and if you aren't willing to work to find it, then it's best that you don't date beyond the most casual of encounters.
Funny, but these are things women learned when we liberated ourselves. Maybe some of you men need to liberate yourselves, too--from your own faulty either/or thinking.
I act snobby towards just about everyone. I feel as if only the people I'm REALLY close to should see the "soft" side of me. Keeps away unwanted company OR people who I may really end up liking, but don't want to get hurt by.:[ I've dealt with a lot of heartbreak in the past.
So you're going to let the people who hurt you control the rest of your life? You'd rather be fearful and without companionship because a few relationships didn't work out?
But wait, it's women who operate on emotion and men who operate on logic, right?
Listen: Unless one marries the first person one dates, and stays married, and dies first, we all have heartbreak. Do you know how many times I've been hurt or grieved the loss of a relationship? Let's see...
High school sweetheart 1 year, a long time at that age
College sweetheart, 3.5 years
Marine, 2.5 years
Cop, 1 year, but we did a lot together and I learned a lot of interesting things from him
IT guy, 1 year, but we traveled a lot together and I learned a lot from him, too
Ex-husband, 7 years total
Most recent SO, about 7 years total, ended in January
So many tears. So much heartbreak.
Then there were the usual misfires lasting a few months that, while not worthy of a lot of tears or ice cream, were disappointing enough to end, and that's a bummer, too, because it sucks to see hope and potential evaporate like that.
You see me on here whining about how love sucks? You see me walking around slump-shouldered and defeated and afraid, and giving up on love?
It's possible to think about someone else without sacrificing so much of yourself that you lose your own back.
Not only that, but successful relationships require compromise and sometimes that means putting the other person's needs above your own.
There's a balance, and if you aren't willing to work to find it, then it's best that you don't date beyond the most casual of encounters.
Funny, but these are things women learned when we liberated ourselves. Maybe some of you men need to liberate yourselves, too--from your own faulty either/or thinking.
How is my thinking faulty? Sure, I can get into a relationship but feelings change. What's to say she won't turn on me after a month? After casually dating 2 women, it's enough to have my guard up towards them all.
So you're going to let the people who hurt you control the rest of your life? You'd rather be fearful and without companionship because a few relationships didn't work out?
But wait, it's women who operate on emotion and men who operate on logic, right?
Listen: Unless one marries the first person one dates, we all have heartbreak. Do you know how many times I've been hurt or grieved the loss of a relationship? Let's see...
High school sweetheart 1 year, a long time at that age
College sweetheart, 3.5 years
Marine, 2.5 years
Cop, 1 year, but we did a lot together and I learned a lot of interesting things from him
IT guy, 1 year, but we traveled a lot together and I learned a lot from him, too
Ex-husband, 7 years total
Most recent SO, about 7 years total, ended in January
So many tears. So much heartbreak.
Then there were the usual misfires lasting a few months that, while not worthy of a lot of tears or ice cream, were disappointing enough to end, and that's a bummer, too, because it sucks to see hope and potential evaporate like that.
You see me on here whining about how love sucks? You see me walking around slump-shouldered and defeated and afraid, and giving up on love?
Why, no. No, you don't.
And women are the "weaker" sex.
Exactly... you have to take the time grieve and then pick up the pieces and move on. You can't dwell in the past and let a handful of people who hurt you run your life forever. Everyone who's ever been in a relationship has been hurt and heartbroken. Even IF you stay with the first person you meet, there are still hard times and heartache--it's not all sunshine and lollypops. That's life. It has ups and downs. How you handle the ups and especially the downs can show the world what your character is and what you are made out of.
How is my thinking faulty? Sure, I can get into a relationship but feelings change. What's to say she won't turn on me after a month? After casually dating 2 women, it's enough to have my guard up towards them all.
Dude seriously chill.I've been burned but I'm not carrying a "I hate men" flag.
I'm in my twenties now and I was like this during my pre teen years. I was afraid and sure they would not like me or that I was very afraid of showing my feelings and being vulnerable . Stupid kid I was .
Listen: Unless one marries the first person one dates, and stays married, and dies first, we all have heartbreak. Do you know how many times I've been hurt or grieved the loss of a relationship? Let's see...
High school sweetheart 1 year, a long time at that age
College sweetheart, 3.5 years
Marine, 2.5 years
Cop, 1 year, but we did a lot together and I learned a lot of interesting things from him
IT guy, 1 year, but we traveled a lot together and I learned a lot from him, too
Ex-husband, 7 years total
Most recent SO, about 7 years total, ended in January
So many tears. So much heartbreak.
Then there were the usual misfires lasting a few months that, while not worthy of a lot of tears or ice cream, were disappointing enough to end, and that's a bummer, too, because it sucks to see hope and potential evaporate like that.
You see me on here whining about how love sucks? You see me walking around slump-shouldered and defeated and afraid, and giving up on love?
Why, no. No, you don't.
And women are the "weaker" sex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean
Exactly... you have to take the time grieve and then pick up the pieces and move on. You can't dwell in the past and let a handful of people who hurt you run your life forever. Everyone who's ever been in a relationship has been hurt and heartbroken. Even IF you stay with the first person you meet, there are still hard times and heartache--it's not all sunshine and lollypops. That's life. It has ups and downs. How you handle the ups and especially the downs can show the world what your character is and what you are made out of.
Exactly.
Some of you men on CD think you're the only ones who've been disappointed, hurt or rejected. You think you're the only ones afraid of being mistreated or misunderstood.
Well, ya know what? We're all walking wounded (or at least anyone over the age of about 25 is). Every one of us. If we haven't had our hearts broken in love, then we've lost dear friendships or relationships with family members. We've all suffered and cried and cursed and mourned. We've all recovered to the best of our abilities and learned to get on with it, battered and bruised.
Sure, it'll make you a little apprehensive and cautious. Of course. But angry? How's that going to help? The only one you're hurting with all your anger is yourselves.
I'm in my twenties now and I was like this during my pre teen years. I was afraid and sure they would not like me or that I was very afraid of showing my feelings and being vulnerable . Stupid kid I was .
Please in my 30's I'm this way, thinking I'm old fat and ugly, then I get hit on.Brings you back.
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