Question for the Men... (relations, reasons, attract, Cary)
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As I stated, it would be a red flag, but not a dealbreaker. Many women have libidos that shut "off" (not completely, but it goes down quite a bit) when they're single that turn back "ON" when they're with a guy they're attracted to.
Moreso than men do, anyway.
Being able to shut off your libido is a concept about as foreign to me as aliens landing and showing a computer to a caveman lol.
As I stated, it would be a red flag, but not a dealbreaker. Many women have libidos that shut "off" (not completely, but it goes down quite a bit) when they're single that turn back "ON" when they're with a guy they're attracted to.
Moreso than men do, anyway.
I've heard of this phenomenon. Not being in a relationship for a long time doesn't remotely imply such women have low libidos. If you passed up women on that assumption, you could be passing up your dream woman. In fact, it's best not to have any assumptions about women. Take each one as a mystery about to unfold.
As I stated, it would be a red flag, but not a dealbreaker. Many women have libidos that shut "off" (not completely, but it goes down quite a bit) when they're single that turn back "ON" when they're with a guy they're attracted to.
Moreso than men do, anyway.
SuperDave
Impressive that you know that.
As far as I know, yep, we can work like that.
I've heard of this phenomenon. Not being in a relationship for a long time doesn't remotely imply such women have low libidos. If you passed up women on that assumption, you could be passing up your dream woman. In fact, it's best not to have any assumptions about women. Take each one as a mystery about to unfold.
I have a really high libido so Id be worried that 8 years without means she had a very LOW libido. That would make me think it wouldn't be a good match.
I can assure you that the reason for my lengthy dearth of sex is NOT because I have a "very LOW libido"... I should be so lucky.
Note: My libido has a mind of its own. It doesn't shut off. It doesn't turn on and shut off, or go way down... depending upon my relationship status.
So you'd be happy in a relationship where you wife had no interest in sex, even a year, 2 years gone by without it?
No, it's not the most important thing. But it's up there.
I'm not talking about legitimate medical reasons or something like that, however, that's different.
Hi Dave,
Again, it depends on your priorities and to me sex is not one of them. If a wife has no interest in sex, its not necessarily her fault, it is also the guys. In my opinion when you have sex - trust me on this - it is never when you want to but only if SHE wants to as well. So basically even if you think you initiated sex cause you wanted it and you do get it on, its only because she wants to as well, or she is doing you a favor. So in short, if she doesnt have sex for 1 or 2 years with you, then the guy is doing something wrong... two to tango an such.
And based on your comment, i would then also assume that long distance relationships will never work for you or anyone here with your opinion? Imagine you are married for 10 years to the most perfect woman, with the perfect life and perfect sex and all your criteria has been met and you have never been happier in your life. Now imagine she has to go on a business trip for a year or two and you cannot see her. Does this mean you go and find other women to have sex with? Do you break it off with her because she is not there and you cannot go and wait two years without sex? What would your action be and what would you do then?
Just a fun example to think about... I am a guy who would wait, and not curl up and die for that time if I know that perfect woman is coming back to me
I personally would not care. If anything, there'd be a lot more upside to this as opposed to a girl who just ended an eight year relationship. Why? Less baggage, of course.
To the OP - my feeling is who cares. All that matters is what happens in the relationship going forward.
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