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You would rather end up being alone forever as changing (to the better)?
If I constantly get dumped for bad breath but have no clue cuz nobody dares telling me, I would be pretty mad if I found out when I am 55 and lonely and sad.
You would rather end up being alone forever as changing (to the better)?
If I constantly get dumped for bad breath but have no clue cuz nobody dares telling me, I would be pretty mad if I found out when I am 55 and lonely and sad.
Well, I'm married but yes, I'd rather be alone than change who I am for someone else.
I'm happy with myself and if I spent the rest of my life alone I don't think it would be all that miserable.
Besides, it's only "for the better" for a select few. There is someone for everyone.
If that is what you call ignorant, then I guess I'm guilty.
You would rather end up being alone forever as changing (to the better)?
If I constantly get dumped for bad breath but have no clue cuz nobody dares telling me, I would be pretty mad if I found out when I am 55 and lonely and sad.
You're to pretty to get dumped.
I prefer brutal honesty over "its not you, its me"
On the non romantic relationships board, I discussed how many people use the passive aggressive approach to ending relationships with best friends. They just make an effort to send them a message they are no longer interested in friendship anymore by slowly or suddenly eliminating contact. I said this might be fine for casual buddies but not best friends. I prefer a direct conversation.
How about lovers you are breaking it off with? Is the new approach the passive aggressive approach, with a sudden breakoff of contact, without saying why, or a plan to send them a message by being really slow at returning phone calls, texts or emails, or claiming you were busy even if you are not. Or maybe breaking it off with a simple text or email. Or a phone message when you know that they are not going to answer the phone.
How do you break it off with lovers and why is it different than breaking off relationships with best friends?
It depends on the lover. Some people don't take rejection well. If the person is very emotional and likely to go berserk, I will do it by text, phone or just fade away. If the person is someone that can control their emotions, then it will likely be in person.
I prefer brutal honesty over "its not you, its me"
I have had some bad habits when I was young and would maybe have deserved to get dumped for them (controlling, jealousy, ...).
I got away with it by being pretty (I was very young). But I wished my exes would have told me so I can work on my issues. I found out about many of them later on by myself looking back or friends told me I need to get my stuff together (we are very honest to each other). So yeah, I would like to hear from friends and lovers how I can improve and I either say NO, thats just ME or I say, You are RIGHT, I need to work on that.
It depends on the lover. Some people don't take rejection well. If the person is very emotional and likely to go berserk, I will do it by text, phone or just fade away. If the person is someone that can control their emotions, then it will likely be in person.
You can always drop them off after a date and the moment you drive away, at the curb, right before the car door gets closed, you can tell her you will not see her again and then quickly drive off
I broke up my 2 main relationships over the phone. It was really the only option. We were long distance - and it didn't make sense to have them fly out to see me or vice versa just to break up with them. We talked things through - but it was on the phone and not in person.
I have had some bad habits when I was young and would maybe have deserved to get dumped for them (controlling, jealousy, ...).
I got away with it by being pretty (I was very young). But I wished my exes would have told me so I can work on my issues. I found out about many of them later on by myself looking back or friends told me I need to get my stuff together (we are very honest to each other). So yeah, I would like to hear from friends and lovers how I can improve and I either say NO, thats just ME or I say, You are RIGHT, I need to work on that.
Friends...absolutely. They are usually brutally honest (that dress makes your ass look huge...or that lipstick looks trashy, never wear it again....or wow you were a cranky ***** to her). I will take their opinions and consider them.
Colleagues...definitely. I have colleagues come in to my room and observe me all the time. I have to submit to 5 annual observations by peers and administrators and they pick apart your teaching, content, delivery, materials used...etc. They are brutally honest and we sit down and discuss how to improve.
A boyfriend or love interest...no, can't say I'd ever care what the reason is for a break-up. The fact is, it isn't working for them and that's all that needs to be said. They are out of my life at that point, and I highly doubt they'd be honest about the reason anyway. Maybe I'm just a cynic, but of the friends that have had marriages end...the reason given was never the REAL reason the marriage ended.
So... you'd really want to hear that you suck in bed, have a small unit and are boring and they doubt you're gonna go far in life.
I'm not so sure that people truly prefer "brutal honestly" all the time.
If it was a casual thing I don't need the "sit down we have to talk" bit. Just become more busy and not available, I'll get the hint.
If it was a longer term thing, then it would make more sense.
Well yes, I'd want to hear where I can improve. I had a girl break up with me for hurting her in bed, I'm tall, she was short, you can work that out from there. So I had to learn to be more gentle in the bedroom.
Communication is great
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