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I am dating an older man and he's pretty much old school in believing that a man should take care of his woman. That doesn't mean being manipulative, bossy, nor making the " rules". It simply means taking the lead, dealing with issues and logistics, and basically doing the heavy lifting. After working all week, and taking care of my responsibilities I am more than happy to relinquish control and let him take the lead. The rewards for letting a man BE a man..... Priceless!
that reply is on point, can't get any better. priceless indeed.
long time ago i had a dear dear friend who was my "wing woman", and at times hit on me but i wasn't interested for whatever reason. anyway, she was a prosecutor and many men found her intimidating then she hook up with some latino law student who totally was "dominant", and in fact pretty much told her drop hanging out with me. prior to disconnecting with her i asked her what she found interesting and attractive in her dude and she said, "look, i'm this competent get sh*t done trail attorney career women 9-5 and i just want something different when i'm home, i want a man to f*cken protect and care for me, i just wanna relax and chill with him".
that reply is on point, can't get any better. priceless indeed.
long time ago i had a dear dear friend who was my "wing woman", and at times hit on me but i wasn't interested for whatever reason. anyway, she was a prosecutor and many men found her intimidating then she hook up with some latino law student who totally was "dominant", and in fact pretty much told her drop hanging out with me. prior to disconnecting with her i asked her what she found interesting and attractive in her dude and she said, "look, i'm this competent get sh*t done trail attorney career women 9-5 and i just want something different when i'm home, i want a man to f*cken protect and care for me, i just wanna relax and chill with him".
go figure, but point taken.
I want this in a man too, but from how I was raised I am not used to allowing a man to take control or even wanting a man to, because had I allowed my father to take control that would have been a disaster.
I learned to rely on myself.
And I have been told I'm intimidating to guys and that they don't know what they could possibly do for me because I appear to "have it all together".
As a man I do not think it is always about me, and I prefer a woman that likes to take on the reigns every now and again, but it's always a two-way street, it's never give or take.
Having grown up around very effeminate and weak-willed men, I feel like I have a skewed sense of what men's needs are. One of the themes that keeps popping up in my dating life is men's desire to feel in control. They want to have control - need to have control - and this is a new concept for me...considering I've been dating pretty weak-willed men .
So my question is, do guys need that? To feel like they are calling the shots, either in dating or in relationships in general? Is it a big blow to a guy's ego if the woman is too assertive and doesn't let him dominate? Does he get resentful if a woman is stronger willed than he is?
The great irony is that the weakest men I've known had the greatest need for control.
Be careful that you don't confuse a willingness to compromise, as all relationships sometimes require both parties to do, with being weak-willed.
I agree with that, very weak men have a desperate need for control.
I do not equate compromising with weakness. I appreciate and value compromising in a relationship.
weak, strong, control, blah blah blah. it's all subjective. call it what you like so that it suits your perspective or expectations, but best to "know thy self" rather than skew one's own reality for the sake of making the world more congruent to one's shortcomings. borderline personality disorder often results from delusional beliefs, then no surprise these types end up in dysfunctional relationships... again, and again.
weak, strong, control, blah blah blah. it's all subjective. call it what you like so that it suits your perspective or expectations, but best to "know thy self" rather than skew one's own reality for the sake of making the world more congruent to one's shortcomings. borderline personality disorder often results from delusional beliefs, then no surprise these types end up in dysfunctional relationships... again, and again.
Who's talking about borderline personality disorder?
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