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How much of yourself, if at all, would you change to fit your partners preferences?
For example, I have curly hair that is shoulder length (I'm biracial). However, my boyfriend prefers my hair to be straight. When it is straight, it is waist length and it's healthy, because I never do anything with it.
I wear my hair in its natural curly state a majority of the time because it's more convenient for me and I don't mind my hair being curly. I have just normal curly hair, but it still takes me over an hour to straighten (with a CHI). Also, I'm kind of a fitness nut and I workout every single day. I'm a heavy sweater, so my hair would be ruined in 1 sess and my scalp would reek.
So, is this an unreasonable request? For me to straighten it every day? He's not a jerk about it by any means, he's just pushy and keeps suggesting I straighten it regularly. I chalk it up to cultural differences since we are of different races (I'm biracial but not part white), where as he is white and, well, male.
I realize it's not a drastic change he is suggesting, so perhaps I am being overly dramatic. He's known me for over 2 years though, so he knows how I am
It's not just that it's a change. It's a change that requires a lot of physical and emotional energy on your part to maintain. It already seems pretty intrusive to your lifestyle.
He needs to decide how unconditional his love is, and YOU have to decide if it's worth it.
If you DO marry and have a family, you will not have an hour a day to straighten your hair. Then what will he think? And will you care?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Yeah, I don't know, I don't like this stuff.
If you want to change for you, go ahead. But changing FOR someone else? The pushy thing seems wrong. I try to take people or leave them as they are. Now if it is something unhealthy like diet, or smoking, I would try to positively encourage change; or lets say clothing, I would never say I don't like an outfit or style, but I would compliment more on a style I do like. But to be pushy, or keep making suggestions. That's nagging. Not cool.
He may like your hair straight, and you can do it some of the time. To expect it all of the time is unreasonable. Maybe he would be willing to pay to get your hair done if he is persistent. It lasts longer that way. Maybe you do it yourself once or twice a week and he pays for it another time. So your hair will be straight 4-5 days a week.
Op dear, please don't change a single bit for some one else but if you find your self beautiful cute and so with what ever the model you follow just go ahead. I am talking from my experiences. your guy is my ex -hub kind. He had a very big problem with my toes. He said they are ugly it is not nice to show to people. So I wear every summer closed to shoes to make him happy. After my divorce I am thinking how much I have suffered my self to please some one. Those are not healthy for living.
Tell him "yes", but he will have to pay for a professional blowout every day because you don't have the time.
My hair requires straightening or it goes in a ponytail most times, so I feel ya. I like it better straight, so if we are going out or I want the feel of loose hair I do it.
Perhaps if you just do it on weekends as a compromise? If he still pressures you, than you may want to rethink the relationship.
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Tell him "yes", but he will have to pay for a professional blowout every day because you don't have the time.
My hair requires straightening or it goes in a ponytail most times, so I feel ya. I like it better straight, so if we are going out or I want the feel of loose hair I do it.
Perhaps if you just do it on weekends as a compromise? If he still pressures you, than you may want to rethink the relationship.
We are currently in college and since it is football season, I have been doing it on weekends (my preference) for tailgating and whatnot. I normally can't work out on Saturdays anyway, since I'm in a sorority and usually have to help set up tents and then help gather everyone back etc. so right now that is currently the situation, but M-F I go curly
My G/F has naturally curly hair. I think she's gorgeous with it that way, but when she straightens it, i find her even much more attractive. I've told her this, and she told me that it takes a bit of work to do this every day. SO i understand that she just can't do it all the time.
But the days she does do it, i appreciate it very much.
So perhaps you can talk to him and say that it's a lot of work, i can't do it all the time, but if we plan something, I can perhaps do it as something special?
We are currently in college and since it is football season, I have been doing it on weekends (my preference) for tailgating and whatnot. I normally can't work out on Saturdays anyway, since I'm in a sorority and usually have to help set up tents and then help gather everyone back etc. so right now that is currently the situation, but M-F I go curly
First, you are in a relationship. Don't listen to those that say not to change a bit. He didn't pick you in a garden and people are all different with various preferences.
It is natural. I like curly and I prefer curly. I voice it but i don't always get it so I don't push. If my lady is wearing something I don't approve of, I tell her and she changes. Same for me and I change. We know each other and we have that relationship. I ask for stockings when we are intimate and she does it FOR ME, NOT HER BUT FOR ME because I WANT IT.
Do it for him on weekends because he wants it and tell him that he can't have it always. Are you afraid to speak to him? Will he leave you if you only do it on weekends? If not, talk to him. TALK TO HIM. TALK TO HIM TALK TO HIM. Then ask him to wear silk boxers in return.
You can't be in a relationship and be afraid to talk or work with each other. If you are scared, break up.
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