Don't EVER have an affair

[TUMF]

Originally Posted by Chowhound

Regrets... they are a mother ****er..... sorry to be crass.

But like the Frank Sinatra song says.. "regrets... I've a had a few".... that's where you want to be....just a few....

Life shouldn't be full of regrets...

I sometimes wonder if I ever stepped out on Mrs. Chow... I don't think I could live with myself.. and I don't say that to be some kind of martyr... I say it from a selfish point of view... I don't think I could literally live with myself... the thought of seeing her face and knowing that I caused that pain.........that would be too much to bear.....

It's a lot more than just that, Chowhound... a lot more.
When such an affair happens, it causes the guilty party to live a totally different life. When the phone rings you gasp to see who it is - and hope it's not 'that other person'. You wipe away - harshly - any trust that your S/O had in you. If you're 3 minutes late from getting home, there's that 'I wonder where he/she was' - there's the knowledge of how what you did hurt your S/O - and all the people downline that you've hurt, by removing that trust.

It's a lot more than that - and then there's the part where you have to look at yourself in the mirror - that's when you ask, 'who is that' looking back....

[TUMF]

Originally Posted by Ulysses61

I've been married over 20 years and have always been monogamous, so I have no horse in this race. However, I have known married people who have had affairs (many of LONG duration) and the spouses never found out. The OP's problem was that his mistress contacted the wife. Next time (if there is a next time), choose a woman more grounded and one not so neurotic/controlling/insecure as to tell your wife!

I can honestly say, that there 'WILL BE NO NEXT TIME'.
To answer a previous question, if I'm sorry I got caught, or I'm sorry because I was caught. The answer is: neither. I'm sorry that I chose to go down the path of doing something TO get caught. I cheated on my wife. I crushed her and she's the last person on this planet that I ever wanted to hurt. I was in my own world - living two life's - with no regard to her when I was in the 'other' one.

I'm sorry I did what I did to no ends. Even if the mistress didn't call her and give away our affair - I know that there's no way I could have gone on - even after ending that affair - with my wife.

[nms9747]

I'm surprised your wife stayed with you. I would've divorced in a heart beat and took everything from you!!! She's a good woman... treat her right.

[laorbust61]

Originally Posted by nms9747

I'm surprised your wife stayed with you. I would've divorced in a heart beat and took everything from you!!! She's a good woman... treat her right.

And don't get upset if you discover that she has developed the need to go out and have an affair to even things up. Be prepared to live with whatever your affair unleashes in your marriage. You probably won't be able to control whatever it is. No blaming her.

[convextech]

Originally Posted by doodlemagic

Thanks for the advice. If you dont mind my asking why did you allow the mistres to know you had a wife,w here she lived and the phone number. Only thing I can guess is you are on facebook. If you are on facebook do not cheat or have affairs either.

So as long as you can't get caught, it's okay?