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Observation: It seems to me that the posters who have raised children tend to have a very different perspective on the importance of role modeling than those who have not.
Observation: It seems to me that the posters who have raised children tend to have a very different perspective on the importance of role modeling than those who have not.
That would seem to make a lot of sense.
I don't have kids and I do resist making too many parenting type of comments, cause as I said, I haven't done it. I can sort of imagine to a certain degree how I'd approach a situation, but yeah...couldn't speak with authority on a certain issues, that's for sure.
It's basic armchair quarterbacking at it's finest, really, at the end of the day.
When a mom throws her babys dad back out in the dating pool she cant expect him to have as much time for his son. As we all know from these forums it is exponentially more difficult for a guy to find a new partner as it is for a woman. The amont of time a guy has to expend to find a new sexual partner is hugely different from what a woman has to spend, that time is taken away from the child becuase of the mom.
There should be no expectation of celibacy just because the couple broke up.
To be blunt, if the dad bails, it's mainly because he wants nothing to do with the mother. Not saying it's right, but it happens. The kid suffers in the end.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa
Oh sure, a mom can get a book on puberty and whatnot. But she won't have the answers to questions like "What does it feel like to..." How did you learn to...? When the only answers can come from a man' actual experience. Boys need male stories and male reassurance that they are normal, and male guidance when they are not.
I just don't see a son asking his mother questions about sex, masturbation, locker room hazing, unwanted erections, what taking steroids can do to you, etc. My daughters would never ask their dad any of that stuff either.
Mentoring and role modeling isn't always about teaching. It's about being there to answer personal questions that the young person finds it hard to ask someone of the opposite sex.
I know you would love to live in a gender-neutral, pansexual society of peace, love and orgies, but fortunately that is not the reality for most people.
As a guy, with a brother, and having a lot of guy friends having played a fair amount of sports, I can't see a guy asking a dad these questions either. I never saw it, or heard about it.
Heck, listening to Dr Ruth under the covers at night taught me 10000% more than either parent.
I can still remember when guys pushed each other to get out there and be a man.
Now they get together and talk about how they shouldn't date because women are ******* and cry about how they're victims of feminism or whatever.
I can only imagine what these people will be like when they've sworn off dating/women for their whole lives, look back at it all and realize what a waste it was.
I can still remember when guys pushed each other to get out there and be a man.
Now they get together and talk about how they shouldn't date because women are ******* and cry about how they're victims of feminism or whatever.
I can only imagine what these people will be like when they've sworn off dating/women for their whole lives, look back at it all and realize what a waste it was.
Maybe it's best they best they don't date. Relationships aren't for everyone.
As a guy, with a brother, and having a lot of guy friends having played a fair amount of sports, I can't see a guy asking a dad these questions either. I never saw it, or heard about it.
Heck, listening to Dr Ruth under the covers at night taught me 10000% more than either parent.
Sure, but it's not just about sex. Monumentus was pestering me about giving specific examples so I gave them.
As someone else said (Julia?) role modeling is non verbal mostly. Boys watch how grown men act and that is how they learn how to live in the world as men. Basically, it is about watching (good) men be physically and mentally resilient, solve problems, tell jokes, deal with frustration, respect women, care for children, bond with their male peers, etc.
There IS a Man World. It is different from Woman World.
To be blunt, if the dad bails, it's mainly because he wants nothing to do with the mother. Not saying it's right, but it happens. The kid suffers in the end.
When 3/4 of divorce is initiated by women I have a hard time believing that.
When 3/4 of divorce is initiated by women I have a hard time believing that.
That's what my mom told me. Don't know if it's true or not for sure.
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