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bolded can be the problem. I understand completely what you are saying.
I have this real life 40 year old virgin friend who plays video game in his spare time. He is not bad looking, he is a good person with a decent job. He just doesn't want to go out and meet women. NO he is not gay. He is afraid women would reject him because he has never tried approaching anybody.
This is weird. He's never had any negative experiences, so what's he afraid of? Why would he expect 100% success, anyway? Does he expect the first woman he approaches to say "yes"? Everyone rejects someone. Even your friend would reject some women if they approached him. It's normal. This dude isn't making sense. He has more mental issues going on than just being irrationally afraid of rejection.
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Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981;
My guy friends have offered to buy him a couple of hookers, so he can just lose the virginity already. He said no because he is afraid he cannot please the hookers. .
You don't pay hookers in order to try to please them. That's not what they're for, and they know it. Why doesn't your friend know that? He has some strange ideas. He's not in touch with reality. It sounds like he lives in his head a lot, without connecting with people.
This is weird. He's never had any negative experiences, so what's he afraid of? Why would he expect 100% success, anyway? Does he expect the first woman he approaches to say "yes"? Everyone rejects someone. Even your friend would reject some women if they approached him. It's normal. This dude isn't making sense. He has more mental issues going on than just being irrationally afraid of rejection.
You don't pay hookers in order to try to please them. That's not what they're for, and they know it. Why doesn't your friend know that? He has some strange ideas. He's not in touch with reality. It sounds like he lives in his head a lot, without connecting with people.
I don't think he has been looking for or waiting for the one. Maybe he is closet Narcissistic.
I don't think he has been looking for or waiting for the one. Maybe he is closet Narcissistic.
Yes. I find people misunderstand what narcissistic personality disorder is.
It is rooted in deep insecurity. It means viewing the whole world through a filter in which you are the only factor. The world is a mirror reflecting back at you, and it is not always good. In fact, it is often bad, but it is all about you.
It is the unfulfilled expectations that are the problem and create bitterness and fear of rejection.
Expects to be recognized as superior and special, without superior accomplishments
Not asking for pity here -- and besides, they are no longer my friends, FWIW.
So get your new friends to include you in their activities where single women may be present. I meet new people all the time this way, in a constantly expanding circle. Every 6 months or so I pick up a new social activity or routine--trivia night, painting classes, charity board, etc. It's really not that hard to be involved in your own social life!
So get your new friends to include you in their activities where single women may be present. I meet new people all the time this way, in a constantly expanding circle. Every 6 months or so I pick up a new social activity or routine--trivia night, painting classes, charity board, etc. It's really not that hard to be involved in your own social life!
Though I do agree with you in theory , I also understand that some folks just find this kind of thing overwhelming due to their own shyness or insecurities. They can be like a deer stuck in headlights afraid to move one way or the other
Though I do agree with you in theory , I also understand that some folks just find this kind of thing overwhelming due to their own shyness or insecurities. They can be like a deer stuck in headlights afraid to move one way or the other
Then they need to find a way to come to terms with their limitations without blaming others or being consumed with envy and bitterness.
Knight comes across as a gentle, loving soul, but he has posted enough over the years to reveal that he is deeply angry yet unwilling to change. He continues to self sabotage by claiming to look for the type of women that does not exist, which he well knows, all the while passively aggressively attacking others ("society") for not being able to give him what he wants.
Just cutting through a little crap here, no one has to love what I say.
Yes. I find people misunderstand what narcissistic personality disorder is.
It is rooted in deep insecurity. It means viewing the whole world through a filter in which you are the only factor. The world is a mirror reflecting back at you, and it is not always good. In fact, it is often bad, but it is all about you.
It is the unfulfilled expectations that are the problem and create bitterness and fear of rejection.
Expects to be recognized as superior and special, without superior accomplishments
Lacks the ability to empathize with the feelings or desires of others
Is arrogant in attitudes and behavior
Has expectations of special treatment that are unrealistic
This may be the problem with some of the regulars we have here who are afraid to approach women, or who believe they're not attractive to women because women never approach them. Expecting the world to come to you is unrealistic. And to form a belief about yourself because an aspect of your life doesn't fall in your lap is irrational. Insightful post.
Then they need to find a way to come to terms with their limitations without blaming others or being consumed with envy and bitterness.
Knight comes across as a gentle, loving soul, but he has posted enough over the years to reveal that he is deeply angry yet unwilling to change. He continues to self sabotage by claiming to look for the type of women that does not exist, which he well knows, all the while passively aggressively attacking others ("society") for not being able to give him what he wants.
Just cutting through a little crap here, no one has to love what I say.
Truth be told, I am neither angry nor envious nor bitter. In the past I will admit to a certain amount of despair and a level of profound sadness, but I was never angry...not sure where you are getting that vibe from? In any event and to set the record straight, I am also not presently single, if that makes a difference as well. (When I spoke about friends not being willing to hook me up, I was referring to prior events in the past, not in the present.)
Please be aware of all the facts zentropa, before you pronounce or render judgment
Constant rejection from the opposite sex tends do that to someone..
For some reason men are expected to be emotionless robots who never get down on themselves or feels insecure which is crazy to me..
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, I also understand that some folks just find this kind of thing overwhelming due to their own shyness or insecurities. They can be like a deer stuck in headlights afraid to move one way or the other 
In any event and to set the record straight, I am also not presently single, if that makes a difference as well. (When I spoke about friends not being willing to hook me up, I was referring to prior events in the past, not in the present.)
