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ITA and I'm a nurse who can't stand when I'm trying to triage a male pt and his wife won't let him speak for himself.
Why people think they get more by having a stank attitude is beyond me because those are the folks you do the bare minimum for and avoid like crazy.
My sentiments exactly. If the wife is rude to me, I still smile and I'm polite. If the husband is really nice and he's the primary customer, I will still go the extra mile because I don't want to punish him for having a rude and obnoxious wife. Often times you can tell the husband is embarrassed by his wife's behavior.
I'm a nurse who can't stand when I'm trying to assess a male pt and his wife won't let him speak for himself.
Why people think they get more by having a stank attitude is beyond me because those are the folks you do the bare minimum for and avoid like crazy.
I love when I ask: Are you in pain on a scale from 1-10 with 10 being the worst pain imaginable and the wife chimes in.
I blame it on the man. No one can speak for you unless you allow them to. I usually think, gee he is totally whipped.
It does vary across cultures. I was working in the Bronx in an area with a large W. African population and it's very common for the man to be addressed. I initially had a hard time accepting that I had to address questions regarding the wife's gynecological and obstetric health to the husband.
Especially with health issues I'd think you would know that men often understate any issues when in public but complain PRIVATELY to their significant other. If my SO is NOT saying something to a healthcare provider that they told ME, then I'm damn sure going to mention it - he can either refute it or not but I'll get it out there! BTW - in this case it has nothing to do with being whipped but with cultural / gender attitudes.
I did edit to add that I understand the culture issues and that it's the reverse in some cultures. Personally, it's just ridiculous to me but hey that's their business and preference. It's just that at the end of the day it really isn't the best way to assess or provide care for a pt. However, it's not me that's going to suffer so I respect people's right to make things as inefficient and chaotic as they possibly can while simultaneously complaining intensely about poor outcomes and mis-communication.
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63
Especially with health issues I'd think you would know that men often understate any issues when in public but complain PRIVATELY to their significant other. If my SO is NOT saying something to a healthcare provider that they told ME, then I'm damn sure going to mention it - he can either refute it or not but I'll get it out there! BTW - in this case it has nothing to do with being whipped but with cultural / gender attitudes.
I agree that it does vary across cultures. I was working in the Bronx in an area with a large W. African population and it's very common for the man to be addressed. I initially had a hard time accepting that I had to address questions regarding the wife's gynecological and obstetric health to the husband.
It was madness when I had to ask the husband to ask the wife when her last period was or ask questions related to the prenatal visit. The first time I encountered this behavior I had to audacity to ask the wife directly and the husband was completely affronted.
I experienced the same when I did my maternity rotation (not W. Africans but another ethnic group). It was always concerning when they were in labor because you were just hoping that the father was communicating everything she was feeling accurately.
Of course my personal favorite patients were married/in their 20s and their mom called the hospital to speak with the nurses
You refer to fellow ladies but your profile shows you as male?
I notice on CD that when women are specifically asked a question, the majority of responses in that thread will be from guys and that they'll be arguing against the women's replies, saying that women don't know what they want, don't know their own minds, must be lying. So no, I don't think one gender has a monopoly on trying to speak for the other.
[Snip.] I will answer for my husband because more often than not, he doesn't want to deal with folks like you... LOL
He sets up the business end of things and then looks to me to handle the social aspect of things. He could really give a flying fart about hospitality and service. He'd rather you all just shut up.
Funny how that works huh?
Heh, pretty much. He hates dealing with customer service. He just hands the phone to me.
I notice in so many places : forums, socially, work place.....
Women will talk FOR a man. Like she knows what a man is thinking. How Men and the Male psyche work. Were they are coming from.
AND
Men will speak from where they are coming from. A Man's point of view.
Point blank, and to the point.
Nothing frustrates me more when a Man is saying something and Women chime in saying, No you don't think that way. Men think this way etc.
I have to sift through on how Women think they know how the opposite sex, being a Male.works, and try to really hear the Man whom is getting washed out.
Some ladies just need to dial it back and stop being a know it all.
How do you men handle all that?
I can't stand when women around me tell me how to think.
I speak for my husband when he has gone to the restroom when we are out to eat and the waitress comes to take our order. Only because he has either told me what he wants or we are having breakfast and he gets the same things for breakfast.
Also, I know how my Husband works and his thoughts about some topics, well a lot of topics because we have discussions with each other so I can speak for him in those instances.
I notice in so many places : forums, socially, work place.....
Women will talk FOR a man. Like she knows what a man is thinking. How Men and the Male psyche work. Were they are coming from.
AND
Men will speak from where they are coming from. A Man's point of view.
Point blank, and to the point.
Nothing frustrates me more when a Man is saying something and Women chime in saying, No you don't think that way. Men think this way etc.
I have to sift through on how Women think they know how the opposite sex, being a Male.works, and try to really hear the Man whom is getting washed out.
Some ladies just need to dial it back and stop being a know it all.
How do you men handle all that?
I can't stand when women around me tell me how to think.
how do i handle it? often times with either comedy, or i challenge her to prove what she says is true.
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