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My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years now and we've had a lot going on in our relationship. We always managed to get through. But there is this one problem that we always seem to have continuously. We barely talk to each other. Two weeks ago, we had a party at my house and he was lovey as ever and actually wanted to talk to me and I loved it so much and I actually thought that we would stay like that. But that may be because he was aroused. I always give him what he needs and everything. But two days later, he went back to his original form, which is acting like he doesn't have any emotions at all, barely talking, and always dazing off when I do try to talk to him. In our relationship, I have confronted him about fives times, trying to fix the problem and always try to think of something to talk about. I actually know I am kind of hard to talk to because I am an introvert and sometimes I get like the way he does, but it is not all the time.
If anyone has any suggestions of how to figure this out, I will very much appreciate it. I want to work it out with him because I love him very much.
Your choice to continue to be ignored by your boyfriend unless he wants sex.
It appears he may not love you as much as you love him but stays because you are convenient and it is easier to stay with you than look for someone else.
There could be other issues as well though so maybe couples counseling would help if you think he would agree to it.
I actually know I am kind of hard to talk to because I am an introvert and sometimes I get like the way he does, but it is not all the time.
Wow. The first thing I was thinking reading through your post is, "His propensity for silence sounds like me...perhaps he's an introvert." And then plot twist: you're an introvert!
You think it's just a case of both of you being introverts, but with slightly different needs in terms of attention in the relationship? Is there a way to talk to him about how he can silently show you some attention?
As a pretty solid introvert, I communicate more through actions than words because it bugs me to have "small talk." Sometimes I need someone to lead it or else I just phase into killing the convo with silence and going back to what I was doing.
The only guy I've had a very "talky" relationship with (including friends) recently came out as gay....so he would have been the exception.
I don't think there are that many guys who will talk with you just to talk - they will talk if there is a specific reason to and then it'll only continue until the problem is resolved or there's a solid plan of action. No chitchat, no long philosophical discussions.
Your choice to continue to be ignored by your boyfriend unless he wants sex.
It appears he may not love you as much as you love him but stays because you are convenient and it is easier to stay with you than look for someone else.
There could be other issues as well though so maybe couples counseling would help if you think he would agree to it.
He actually did break up with me because he said and I quote. "I have not been in any other relationship so I cannot tell if this is good for me or not. I need to date other people to know for sure if you were really good for me."
Wow. The first thing I was thinking reading through your post is, "His propensity for silence sounds like me...perhaps he's an introvert." And then plot twist: you're an introvert!
You think it's just a case of both of you being introverts, but with slightly different needs in terms of attention in the relationship? Is there a way to talk to him about how he can silently show you some attention?
As a pretty solid introvert, I communicate more through actions than words because it bugs me to have "small talk." Sometimes I need someone to lead it or else I just phase into killing the convo with silence and going back to what I was doing.
We both are introverts but in different kinds. He is very outgoing when he is with his close friends and family, but when he's with someone he doesn't know, he will barely talk. But he does show his attention in other forms such as being physical. We like to talk touch each other and not in a sexual way at all.
The only guy I've had a very "talky" relationship with (including friends) recently came out as gay....so he would have been the exception.
I don't think there are that many guys who will talk with you just to talk - they will talk if there is a specific reason to and then it'll only continue until the problem is resolved or there's a solid plan of action. No chitchat, no long philosophical discussions.
When I mean talk, I mean talking about an specific topic. Such as he likes playing games. I try talking to him about any sorts of games he plays and he only comes up with 1-2 sentences and then stops. So I have to keep asking questions about that specific game until there is nothing else to talk about..
I'm sitting here on City-Data, watching Magnum PI while Mrs. NBP is on her own computer. We haven't said anything to each for, oh, an hour since I asked if she wanted more coffee. She nodded "No".
We may not say anything for another hour.
We've been married 33 years. Have had, maybe, 2 fights in all that time.
It's not fixable. That's who he is. Take him or leave him.
It's not who he is though. He does just fine in talking to his best friends for 4 solid hours and he can't have a conversation with me who has been there for him for two years. Yes, you may say I might be the problem, but i'm trying to figure out how to make it better between us, not bash him on the forums for people to say harsh things about him.
By the way, I don't think you nice people would bash him, just an example
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