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I feel discomfort in staring at women "not ashamed" because women DO call guys perverts, creepers, jerks for checking them out or staring too long when the woman is not interested. I've had a girl tell me once "what are YOU looking at?" So out of courtesy and respect, I try not to stare at ANYONE.
Maybe I've let some of my negative past experiences hold me back from meeting more woman than I normally would of but that's just not my style to be so confrontational and stare someone down till they look away or break. To me it seems unnecessary.
Also I don't know what area you live in but that holding eye contact/animal kingdom stuff will get your ass kicked, stabbed or shot walking around doing that in my neighborhood. That's not an exaggeration either. I guarantee if you try it, someone will pull over and get out of their car to punch your face in so I don't recommend it.
It gets very uncomfortable if someone is staring. (even if they like them back).
SOME may see that as sexual tension and be gratified. But most people probably wouldn't like it.
The best way (that applies to majority I believe) is to keep glancing at them - which lets them know that you are interested in them (for whatever reason).
When they keep looking back at you, it could be that they are annoyed. Or it could be that they like you. It's hard to predict. But it's a good probability that they may like you back.
So you should approach. They could be annoyed, but if you don't do that, how will you ever meet up with someone?
So the world is full of differences and it's impossible to predict. So finding the best way under the circumstances is the best thing to do. So, to me, that means: keep glancing often rather than staring.
Much of seduction is non-verbal, and includes holding eye contact. I love when a guy looks at me like that. The person who looks away first IMO is the one who is submitting (seen very clearly in the animal kingdom but also happens with "human" animals...if she was interested, you'll never know because you dropped the ball.
IMO your biggest issue is that YOU feel shame in your sexuality and expressing desire even non-verbally. You are afraid of being called a pervert because maintaining eye contact makes you feel like a pervert for whatever reason. Explore the reasons for that, because your discomfort with women/sex is going to prevent women from feeling attraction to you.
I had an experience with this once that was very interesting--to me anyway. I worked the evening shift at the hospital and the janitor would come in and stare at me every night and at first I couldn't stand him b/c I thought he was much too bold and he wasn't very handsome anyway. He wasn't mean about it, but just bordered on creepy. One night we had a short conversation and I realized that he was actually a really nice man and quite intelligent (a real turn-on for me) and after that I could not get him out of my mind and when he looked at me it just went all thru me and we ended up having a lot of chemistry--more than I've ever felt towards anyone. Ultimately it did not work out and I came to believe that he was a narcissist who got something out of doing this to women but it sure was exciting at the time and I will always think of him as the sexiest man I ever knew, but I also wonder how many women hated him. Still, for a man who wasn't very good looking, he had plenty of success with the women. I have kept contact with him thru the years and he's now an art professor.
Usually when a man glances at me a lot and we make frequent eye contact then I think there is mutual interest there and I'm almost always right. If you are a man and a woman meets your eyes frequently she is probably interested, even if she doesn't smile, b/c some women are too shy to smile back. Also Raena, I would be way too shy to openly stare a man up and down! Whoa, not to mention that it might be a great way to get a man into the sack but if I want more I'll keep my glances above the collar bone. Well I might check out his shoulders, lol.
It's neither subjective nor open to interpretation. Staring you're doing alone, eye contact requires two people both doing the same action...you're either making eye contact WITH someone or staring AT someone.
I have read plenty of times on this forum how eye contact held to long is considered staring.
It is subjective. Just because a person looks at another person and eye contact is made is no indication of anything. Yet people conflate eye contact with the other person being interested. This ridiculous behavior is most evident in people who are overly full of themselves and those who are arrogant. Thankfully I am a down to earth and realistic type whom never conflates interest of others from something as innocuous as being looked at.
As a male, i NEVER make eye contact with a female stranger; i feel that it is weird. But i do notice women (mostly older) look at me or stare at me for at least 2 seconds. I feel like it happens often with me. When I see this occur, I look at the opposite direction. And SOMETIMES, they hold their stare, and when I look back at them, they still look at me as if they were waiting for me to say hello. (maybe just wanted to be friendly and greet me and I hardly greet them) And sometimes, they hold their stare until I look back, but when I do look back, they IMMEDIATELY look the other way as if "they were caught staring" and were embarrassed.
I always wonder why these women stare for so long. It's not like I have something on my face or my clothes are not presentable. (But i do match colors very well. Maybe they admire my "fashion") And when I do see an attractive woman, I do look at her, but not when she's staring at me. And to be PERFECTLY clear! When an attractive woman stares at me, I make my move as I see it as an invitation. However, the girls I deem attractive are not the ones staring at me, unfortunately.
So if anyone could give me any insight on this, I would really appreciate it.
I have read plenty of times on this forum how eye contact held to long is considered staring.
It is subjective. Just because a person looks at another person and eye contact is made is no indication of anything. Yet people conflate eye contact with the other person being interested. This ridiculous behavior is most evident in people who are overly full of themselves and those who are arrogant. Thankfully I am a down to earth and realistic type whom never conflates interest of others from something as innocuous as being looked at.
There is no eye contact unless she is looking back into YOUR eyes, too. You can't tell if a woman you're actually making eye contact with welcomes it or not, just by the way she's looking back, her expression, etc? If you can't you have many more problems with dating than just knowing whether to look at a girl or not.
There is no eye contact unless she is looking back into YOUR eyes, too. You can't tell if a woman you're actually making eye contact with welcomes it or not, just by the way she's looking back, her expression, etc? If you can't you have many more problems with dating than just knowing whether to look at a girl or not.
Again, just because eye contact is made doesn't mean interest. Very occasionally women make eye contact and smile at me while shopping, or at photo arts group, or even the gym,. As I am not arrogant I don't for a second think they are interested. They are only being friendly or are in a super good mood. Nothing more. As for your last sentence pot shot, apparently you have reading comprehension problems.
Ladies, when you make eye contact with a man who is checking you out and you are NOT interested, will you continue to stare back at them till they look away or will you break eye contact first?
Normally, if I'm checking out a woman, she notices me looking at her, she starts to stare at me back with no expression on her face, I will STOP looking at her because I don't want to STARE or be told "what are you looking at!?" or "pervert!"
REASON why I'm asking is because I was with a friend and we noticed an attractive girl walking. She looked over at us while we were checking her out and she turned away. While we are driving away we pass by her again, "I" didn't want to stare at her or make her feel nervous so while passing her I didn't look at her. My friend kept checking her out and she eventually SMILED and waved HI to him?
Soooooo...I'm starting to second guess my actions. Am I looking away too early? Should I wave and say HI if a woman notices me checking her out and she stares back? I always got the impression that they are staring back as "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?" attitude. Do women do that or is just fear?
Overall, I don't think it really matters.
I did cold approaches for many years. Most women are not receptive to them and do not like them. So it doesn't really matter what she is thinking when she's looking at you. It's not likely to be anything good anyway.
If you want to run around and approach every woman that looks at you or waves at you, go for it, but you'll just be wasting your time.
Just focus on meeting women through friends, mutual interests, and work/school. Or go to other countries where women actually liked to be approached and are more open to talking to men outside of their cliques.
Much of seduction is non-verbal, and includes holding eye contact. I love when a guy looks at me like that. The person who looks away first IMO is the one who is submitting (seen very clearly in the animal kingdom but also happens with "human" animals...if she was interested, you'll never know because you dropped the ball.
IMO your biggest issue is that YOU feel shame in your sexuality and expressing desire even non-verbally. You are afraid of being called a pervert because maintaining eye contact makes you feel like a pervert for whatever reason. Explore the reasons for that, because your discomfort with women/sex is going to prevent women from feeling attraction to you.
The reason why men are afraid to be called perverts and creeps is because women will call a man this if he shows attraction for her and she doesn't find him attractive.
So men are rightfully guarded these days.
The takeaway message is to not care what others think. Don't worry about being labeled a creep or a pervert.
I feel discomfort in staring at women "not ashamed" because women DO call guys perverts, creepers, jerks for checking them out or staring too long when the woman is not interested. I've had a girl tell me once "what are YOU looking at?" So out of courtesy and respect, I try not to stare at ANYONE.
Maybe I've let some of my negative past experiences hold me back from meeting more woman than I normally would of but that's just not my style to be so confrontational and stare someone down till they look away or break. To me it seems unnecessary.
Also I don't know what area you live in but that holding eye contact/animal kingdom stuff will get your ass kicked, stabbed or shot walking around doing that in my neighborhood. That's not an exaggeration either. I guarantee if you try it, someone will pull over and get out of their car to punch your face in so I don't recommend it.
Again, just because eye contact is made doesn't mean interest. Very occasionally women make eye contact and smile at me while shopping, or at photo arts group, or even the gym,. As I am not arrogant I don't for a second think they are interested. They are only being friendly or are in a super good mood. Nothing more. As for your last sentence pot shot, apparently you have reading comprehension problems.
I did not think we were talking about glancing eye contact, but held eye contact.
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I worked the evening shift at the hospital and the janitor would come in and stare at me every night and at first I couldn't stand him b/c I thought he was much too bold and he wasn't very handsome anyway. He wasn't mean about it, but just bordered on creepy. One night we had a short conversation and I realized that he was actually a really nice man and quite intelligent (a real turn-on for me) and after that I could not get him out of my mind and when he looked at me it just went all thru me and we ended up having a lot of chemistry--more than I've ever felt towards anyone. Ultimately it did not work out and I came to believe that he was a narcissist who got something out of doing this to women but it sure was exciting at the time and I will always think of him as the sexiest man I ever knew, but I also wonder how many women hated him. Still, for a man who wasn't very good looking, he had plenty of success with the women. I have kept contact with him thru the years and he's now an art professor. 
