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Whether or not the OP is on public assistance has no relevance to her current dating problems. Why? Because I'm sure she is smart enough to not say on her dating profile she is currently on food stamps and I'm also sure its not a topic on first dates. So if none of her early dates know she is on assistance then it has no bearing on her dating problems. Everyone can argue all day if she is doing well financially or not while being on food stamps but it still has no bearing on her dating life. Right now she has problems even finding a guy to go on more then 4 dates with.
Guys misrepresent themselves financially all the time to try to impress the ladies. Rent a house that he says he owns and leases a BMW that he says he owns. Does the fact that he rents and leases have any effect on his dating life? No because the women never find out just like the men never find out that the OP is on food stamps.
Look I get why people are giving her flak for saying she is doing well financially while being on assistance BUT it has nothing to do with her dating life at the early stages.
Whether or not the OP is on public assistance has no relevance to her current dating problems. Why? Because I'm sure she is smart enough to not say on her dating profile she is currently on food stamps and I'm also sure its not a topic on first dates. So if none of her early dates know she is on assistance then it has no bearing on her dating problems. Everyone can argue all day if she is doing well financially or not while being on food stamps but it still has no bearing on her dating life. Right now she has problems even finding a guy to go on more then 4 dates with.
Guys misrepresent themselves financially all the time to try to impress the ladies. Rent a house that he says he owns and leases a BMW that he says he owns. Does the fact that he rents and leases have any effect on his dating life? No because the women never find out just like the men never find out that the OP is on food stamps.
Look I get why people are giving her flak for saying she is doing well financially while being on assistance BUT it has nothing to do with her dating life at the early stages.
I agree. It's irrelevant to the problems shes having w/ online dating. And there are people that abuse the system all the time--it might be a character default sure, but does it really bare any influence on who she is able to attract online? They don't know about it, they don't know her, sooo focusing on it to me is really taking focus off the thread. Seems like people are upset with her for using public assistance when she doesn't need it instead of focusing on what she mentioned in the beginning of the thread.
Last edited by Faith2187; 11-29-2014 at 05:39 PM..
Don't stress too much on the age or the kids. I'm about your age, have two kids and I'm not having any issues at all connecting. The guys that don't like my age are the ones about 4-10 years older than I am (after assuring them that they're safely in the friendzone, I realized that they want someone more innocent, more malleable and naive, which safely pretty much cuts out most females of legal age).
The ones that have issues with kids steer clear of me and that's a total blessing. I would have thought that since your children's father isn't the greatest, then it would have been easier. My kid's dad is an awesome guy; involved, attentive and his role in their lives in invaluable. The fact that we're friends and respect the parenting partnership has turned a few guys away, which...again, blessing. I'm not a fan of drama.
Also, on the guy that's 13 years younger....while he's not your age-ideal, you might want to keep an open mind there. In my experience, if a guy is interested in an older woman, he has a set standard in what he wants and doesn't want. He's past the party stage, and if you're clear and upfront that you don't want kids, it's his decision to make. Either way, =c) it's flattering to be liked by a younger guy.
She is getting good advice and a dose of realism. I think she has handled the criticism fairly well. As far as the reading comprehension comment IMO that is more from frustration of repeating herself rather then lashing out.
Yes! I had already corrected the poster 2 or 3 times at that point and she was still giving advice on inaccurate information.
kcam213 - You were lucky to be able to live with your parents. Without their support and help, you probably would have needed those food stamps, so I'm unconvinced that your level of integrity and honesty outshine the OPs.
I wonder if you take tax deductions or do you return your tax refund back to the government too? If you take tax deductions that you quality for, you are no better than the OP. Remember, she is a working individual who is also paying taxes like everyone else who works for a living.
You took another low blow at her by implying that she had her children out of wedlock ("knocked up") so that she could sit back and enjoy being "rewarded for her bad choices". I haven't read the entire thread but I have the impression that she is a divorced mother, who is actively pursuing back child support owed to her from her ex husband. She's made it pretty clear that it's the healthcare that she needs for her children, the $200 foodstamps come with the qualifying package.
I don't agree with the OP being dishonest on her profile. That is wrong IMO and will not serve her well in the long run. But I feel that is she is being unfairly judged in other regards.
Thank you and you are correct.
In the end I just listed that I have had some college, which is true.
With regards to her dating challenges, she needs to keep her standards high for the sake of her children, if for no other reason. It may not be easy or quick to find someone suitable. It might never happen at all, but that is the hand she has been dealt in life. Adapt or perish.
I became a widow with two children at the age of 32. I didn't meet a man worth marrying until I turned 48 and my children were grown. He was worth the wait though, I'm so glad that I didn't settle for anything less.
Maybe she'll have better luck than I did and love will find her sooner than it did for me.
Thank you and I hope I will have the same great luck.
Whether or not the OP is on public assistance has no relevance to her current dating problems. Why? Because I'm sure she is smart enough to not say on her dating profile she is currently on food stamps and I'm also sure its not a topic on first dates. So if none of her early dates know she is on assistance then it has no bearing on her dating problems. Everyone can argue all day if she is doing well financially or not while being on food stamps but it still has no bearing on her dating life. Right now she has problems even finding a guy to go on more then 4 dates with.
Guys misrepresent themselves financially all the time to try to impress the ladies. Rent a house that he says he owns and leases a BMW that he says he owns. Does the fact that he rents and leases have any effect on his dating life? No because the women never find out just like the men never find out that the OP is on food stamps.
Look I get why people are giving her flak for saying she is doing well financially while being on assistance BUT it has nothing to do with her dating life at the early stages.
I merely suggested that if she's deluded about her financial stability, she's likely deluded about her dating prospects in general. I do agree that people always attempt to put their best foot forward initially, but the OP has a good history on here of NOT attracting the types of men she's eager to attract and I think my advice re: how to do this (be it online, in person, etc) is quite solid.
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I know you're not addressing me, but I don't think kcam was upset that the OP qualifies for benefits. People who qualify for benefits should receive benefits if they need them.
The larger point is that OP seems to think she's financially stable. Why is a financially stable person collecting public assistance?
Why is the OP well enough off to save up 21k and pay for half of a 42k automobile with it while collecting public assistance? I don't begrudge the woman a ride. Or even a new ride. But, who the hell on public assistance needs a new, luxury automobile? 42k is approaching Benz territory.
And, comparing allowable tax deductions to public assistance benefits is apples to oranges.
They may both be designed to give taxpayers a break (I'm sure the OP gets a fat chunk of EIC, Child tax credits, etc...she likely pays NO federal taxes by the time she gets those...and gets more on top of that), but tax deductions apply to people across the board.
Public assistance is to aid the poorest members of society. This OP is the first person I've ever heard say they were doing well financially, holding down a professional job, and considered themselves a "good catch" in a financial sense WHILE on public assistance.
I think that's the larger point. If she's doing so well, why collect benefits?
Hold up.
Because, without them? She would not be doing so well?
There's some disillusionment in here.
I think the point kcam was making was about not using benefits you do not need.
The OP needs public assistance. Or she does not.
If she does not, it's like she's taking it to let everyone else subsidize Her 42k auromobile. And her car that's paid for. And her house.
Why would anyone do that? It's not Monopoly money. Some other citizens paid that money in taxes and did NOT get a refund.
I collect them because I qualify for them. The little extra helps keep me in a great place financially. And I have owned real estate long before I had kids, or qualified for assistance. Real Estate helped put me in a good place. Not assistance. With or without $200 in food stamps, I would still live the same way in the same house and drive the same type car. Which is not a Benz or any other type of luxury car. It is an SUV and they just happen to be pricey. I have had my other car since I was 16. Again not something funded from collecting $200 a month in food stamps.
If I forgo collecting benefits, even though I qualify, no one would suddenly be paying less taxes.
I am sure when I am able to finally obtain child support, I will no longer qualify. But for now I am thankful for the assistance to help offset expenses their fathers are not helping to pay.
Oh and for whoever said I should be open to have more kids... I was done after my daughter. I agreed to have my son with my ex, because he wanted his own child. He ran off with another woman leaving me to be a single parent. We have not seen him in almost 6 months. My luck the same thing would happen with the next guy and I will be a single parent to three kids. Nope, I am good with my two.
I merely suggested that if she's deluded about her financial stability, she's likely deluded about her dating prospects in general. I do agree that people always attempt to put their best foot forward initially, but the OP has a good history on here of NOT attracting the types of men she's eager to attract and I think my advice re: how to do this (be it online, in person, etc) is quite solid.
LOL @ deluded......... Denial isn't just a river in Africa.......
Yes! I had already corrected the poster 2 or 3 times at that point and she was still giving advice on inaccurate information.
Nope. I read it. My reading comprehension skills are fine.
However, collecting food stamps and Medicaid benefits instead of a welfare check does not mean you're financially stable. My advice is quite sound, I assure you.
But, why trust someone who DID marry an attractive, younger, physically fit, mentally stable, high-earning white man (your target demographic, no?) while she was a single mother? What the hell do I know? Keep on doing what you're doing, since it's clearly working.
And, to reiterate, I have no issue at all with benefits of any kind going to people who need them.
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