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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar
Nope. I went to my classes, to the dining hall, to the library, and back to my dorm room without ever meeting any dates. I never had any friends either, really. I am Facebook friends with two girls I knew freshman year, but we weren't close.
Ok, I guess your program was very different. Even in undergrad some group projects, and many labs, and of course studied with other people. And clubs too.
Ok, I guess your program was very different. Even in undergrad some group projects, and many labs, and of course studied with other people. And clubs too.
Eh, I would say it's more my personality than the program. I'm just very good at keeping to myself and not connecting with people. It was the same in high school.
My social life was at its most active in college (20 yrs. ago)-I lived in the dorms and therefore was in close proximity to many ("eligible") people, unlike at any other time in my life.
While the quantity of my social life was greater then, I can't say a whole lot for the quality of said interactions/relationships (well, at least some of them).
But I can say for sure that my social life declined markedly once I left school-it's been much harder to meet people, let alone suitable (potentially compatible) ones.
To be fair, I presume I was more appealing (physically) back then because I was younger (and so was everybody else), though after college I did lose weight.
Was so much easier (for me) to meet new people under those conditions & at that stage of our lives, compared with trying to meet folks in the decades since, in the world at large.
Mostly worse, although there are some silver linings.
The worse:
- Far fewer women around you on a day to day basis
- Far, FAR fewer attractive and available women around you - it's just as likely that pretty girl you see from the other dept at work or while you're at the grocery store is married, engaged, or in a long-term partnership that may just as well be a marriage. The attractive women I'm initially interested in are almost always taken.
- Most people are most attractive in their college years and right after.
- The older people get, the more set people are in their ways - this is true for yourself and your dates. It's harder to make your lives fit together and will just as likely end the relationship. In college you don't have set ways of living, generally.
- Parties. Enough said.
The silver linings
- college aged women can be really insecure about a lot of things. More mature women have less emotional drama.
- maybe it was just me, but I found the anxiety and insecurity issue mentioned above made it harder to get laid in college (women are more uptight about sex when they're younger). Most of the women I dated in college wanted commitment before sex, or they thought sex was going to bring about commitment. Since I've been dating as an "adult," sex is pretty much a given if you make it past the first handful of dates, sometimes after the first 2-3, far less insecurity revolving around it.
- women aged 29-40 are far more reliable and dependable. I can't stand it when women flake out and not do what they say they're going to or suddenly change their minds. Younger women flake out at least double the rate older women do.
it was fine right out of college. I was actually able to find dates. Hell I had a relationship that lasted about 3 years.
Things changed for the worse in my late 20s. Fewer women, fewer opportunities, most or all women have at least 1 or 3 kids, and I guess the women got a lot more harsh. I can't even get a woman to even crack a damn smile.
I didn't date at my college. Nobody did. It was FWBs or just "hanging out," if you weren't an FWB-type person. Very few people were in relationships unless they'd started college already in one. So, upon graduating, the dating scene improved immeasurably.
Ups and downs, but overall it got better without a doubt. Gaining confidence and a life worth talking about and sharing helped, as did moving to a major city and the popularity of internet dating, plus learning through experience. I was pretty clueless about women in undergrad. Hooking up with undergrads when I was in grad school was fun, though.
I didn't date at my college. Nobody did. It was FWBs or just "hanging out,"
You're splitting semantic hairs a bit. I tend to assume, when people discuss "dating" that they're referring to romantic and/or sexual relationships in an all-encompassing sort of way, including "hanging out" and "hooking up," not just formal "dating" (whatever that even means anymore).
You're splitting semantic hairs a bit. I tend to assume, when people discuss "dating" that they're referring to romantic and/or sexual relationships in an all-encompassing sort of way, including "hanging out" and "hooking up," not just formal "dating" (whatever that even means anymore).
Whatever you say. I'm simply stating that at the time I attended, romantic relationships were not common at my college. Sex, sure. Romantic relationships? Not so much.
After college, dating and relationships resulting from dating became more common.
Whatever you say. I'm simply stating that at the time I attended, romantic relationships were not common at my college. Sex, sure. Romantic relationships? Not so much.
After college, dating and relationships resulting from dating became more common.
Fair enough. I'm just saying sex probably falls under the larger umbrella of "dating" for the purpose of a discussion like this. When someone asks if "dating" got better or worse after college, they mean "your luck with the ladies."
Personally, I've found both casual relationships and serious dating to be common at every level (high school, college, grad school, and after), but it's interesting to hear how your experience was different.
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