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It is not that serious. You need to get your priorities in order and focus on things you are passionate about. Dating is something that happens naturally. You can't really force it.
I didn't date in HS and I still have not been a on a date. I'm in my early 20s. I really don't care tbh. Once you grow up you'll realize how silly it is to worry over things like this.
You should have seen my later posts (in response to the blue).
Although, quoting the bolded, it's just that people were advising me to "date" and "casually date", etc and it was quite frustrating because I was like, "I'd like to, but I can't!" People were acting as if I can pick dates on fruit. And it is quite frustrating and demoralizing to see others flirt and date with ease and I am also just concerned in general seeing the nature of dating and relationships in the United States. See, even people who are dating and conducting romantic relationships are having a hard time and are dissatisfied, and that's another source of demoralization, when I am in a period of ruminating over these things - I can't even get a date and you're telling me that even people who succeed and are otherwise proficient in dating and conducting romantic relationships feel dissatisfied and unsuccessful.
Also, note that for some, the romantic aspect of their life is more significant than for others (it is for me). I am actually surprised (especially due to your age) that you floccinaucinihilipilificate dating and the romantic aspect of your life like that. Most people your age, at least from what I see and perceive, actually seem to be some of the most concerned with respect to these things. And apparently I am not the only one worrying about things like this from what I see and what people say. Neither does it seem to be specific to age. I have seen anecdotal stories in which people my age, in their twenties, thirties, etc express misery and low morale as a result too.
Last edited by Anonymous_U123456789; 11-21-2014 at 07:06 PM..
You can't find out or date without asking. There is but one solution ;work on it.
It's also not the asking part that I have trouble with. I asked out a few girls over 2014 (and would have asked out more if I hadn't instantly been blown off). It wasn't the rejection that demoralized me. Rather it was my awkwardness and improficiency at flirting and making conversation. That's what I am worried about, but as we investigate, we are noticing that it stems from just not having developed social skills and confidence in social situations in general and I am working with the school psychologist (and possibly the therapist) to resolve these issues.
You should have seen my later posts (in response to the blue).
Although, quoting the bolded, it's just that people were advising me to "date" and "casually date", etc and it was quite frustrating because I was like, "I'd like to, but I can't!" People were acting as if I can pick dates on fruit. And it is quite frustrating and demoralizing to see others flirt and date with ease and I am also just concerned in general seeing the nature of dating and relationships in the United States. See, even people who are dating and conducting romantic relationships are having a hard time and are dissatisfied, and that's another source of demoralization, when I am in a period of ruminating over these things - I can't even get a date and you're telling me that even people who succeed and are otherwise proficient in dating and conducting romantic relationships feel dissatisfied and unsuccessful.
Also, note that for some, the romantic aspect of their life is more significant than for others (it is for me). I am actually surprised (especially due to your age) that you floccinaucinihilipilificate dating and the romantic aspect of your life like that. Most people your age, at least from what I see and perceive, actually seem to be some of the most concerned with respect to these things. And apparently I am not the only one worrying about things like this from what I see and what people say. Neither does it seem to be specific to age. I have seen anecdotal stories in which people my age, in their twenties, thirties, etc express misery and low morale as a result too.
I don't freak out about it because I, quite frankly, find it pretty ridiculous. What's the point of worrying about it? Also I don't care about doing what everyone else is doing. I am not a follower. I do what I want and need to do.
I have other priorities like working and going to school. No one is going to do it for me, but me. It's really a lot easier to forget about things like that when you realize you are the only person you can rely on. If you are so frustrated with being alone, you're just going to make the other person miserable too. It seems to me you care too much about what other people say about your lack of a dating life. Who cares?
I don't freak out about it because I, quite frankly, find it pretty ridiculous. What's the point of worrying about it? Also I don't care about doing what everyone else is doing. I am not a follower. I do what I want and need to do.
I have other priorities like working and going to school. No one is going to do it for me, but me. It's really a lot easier to forget about things like that when you realize you are the only person you can rely on. If you are so frustrated with being alone, you're just going to make the other person miserable too. It seems to me you care too much about what other people say about your lack of a dating life. Who cares?
Why should it even be important?
Sadly, I can only rep this post once. Gotta spread it around, lol.
It's also not the asking part that I have trouble with. I asked out a few girls over 2014 (and would have asked out more if I hadn't instantly been blown off). It wasn't the rejection that demoralized me. Rather it was my awkwardness and improficiency at flirting and making conversation. That's what I am worried about, but as we investigate, we are noticing that it stems from just not having developed social skills and confidence in social situations in general and I am working with the school psychologist (and possibly the therapist) to resolve these issues.
Like all social skills, becoming more comfortable and confident with making conversation will really only improve with practice.
You should have seen my later posts (in response to the blue).
Although, quoting the bolded, it's just that people were advising me to "date" and "casually date", etc and it was quite frustrating because I was like, "I'd like to, but I can't!" People were acting as if I can pick dates on fruit. And it is quite frustrating and demoralizing to see others flirt and date with ease and I am also just concerned in general seeing the nature of dating and relationships in the United States. See, even people who are dating and conducting romantic relationships are having a hard time and are dissatisfied, and that's another source of demoralization, when I am in a period of ruminating over these things - I can't even get a date and you're telling me that even people who succeed and are otherwise proficient in dating and conducting romantic relationships feel dissatisfied and unsuccessful.
Also, note that for some, the romantic aspect of their life is more significant than for others (it is for me). I am actually surprised (especially due to your age) that you floccinaucinihilipilificate dating and the romantic aspect of your life like that. Most people your age, at least from what I see and perceive, actually seem to be some of the most concerned with respect to these things. And apparently I am not the only one worrying about things like this from what I see and what people say. Neither does it seem to be specific to age. I have seen anecdotal stories in which people my age, in their twenties, thirties, etc express misery and low morale as a result too.
Hmmm. Do you ever get the feeling you are overthinking things?
While those results may have been true for that study, it was a relatively small sample size (less than 700 students,) and it would not surprise me that the students polled stretched the truth a bit in their responses. I have a hard time believing that of millions of high school students in this country 75% have had sex in high school. I know that in my own small band of friends, most of us had our "firsts" in college (some after college.)
Right. I and most of the people I went to school with didn't even have cars until maybe late in their senior years, if that soon.
What...was I supposed to call mom and ask her to leave work in the middle of a shift to go on a date? Yeah, good luck with that.
Granted, I did go to high school for three years in the ghetto, so at times before I moved out, it did seem like there was a pregnant 16-year old around every corner. Somehow, I don't believe they were dating, though. Especially the guy they knocked boots with.
With fewer kiddos getting cars for various reasons that you can surmise these days, that's not going to be an exception.
"Dating" is a subjective term. Even on threads about dating in college and/or adulthood, it comes up time and time again, that some consider anything from hanging out, to hooking up, to having a person you were exclusive with, whether you went on dates or not,to having actual planned outings as "dating." It's just a vague term. When you look at data from studies on dating among adolescents, check and see how your particular study is defining "dating."
Few people in high school have "serious relationships," at least in the adult sense. And, why should they? Teenage years are, developmentally, a time where you start learning to make these sorts of attachments. They feel serious, but they're ultimately only going to be so serious, because there is still a lot of growing and changing to be done. Even my brother and his HS girlfriend, who married when they were midtwenties, and are now upper thirties with two children, was not in a "serious relationship" when they were 16 and 17. They were kids in a relationship, and that relationship grew up with them.
Having sex as a teen doesn't necessarily denote "serious relationship," or even dating.
Where did you live and how old are you?
I am mid thirties and it was quite common for high school students to date. And by dating, I mean to be in a committed relationship and go places. Heck, I had two boyfriends in middle school. At that point we had to have parents drive us places, but by high school, we had cars and could easily date.
I find it odd that so many never actually went out to a movie for a date....typical in high school was asking someone you liked out to a movie and dinner on a Saturday night. Now dinner might be just a burger at some fast food joint, but it was still a date. Sometimes I'd get fancy and take them to a real nice place, table cloths etc....of course the return on that investment was guaranteed
Exactly. And towards junior and senior years, when we all had cars, it was common for us to go to the beah for the weekends.
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