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This same topics gets asked or commented on alot in alot of differnet ways about teh whole nice guy or attentive guy vs jerks or bad boys?
I'm definately a believer in the whole women like alpha male type guys. Now that doesn't mean some big muscled macho guy, just more women like a guy who has his own life and own stuff going on, not some clingy guy who's all about them all the time, despite women sometimes saying this is what htey want.
Also say your mad at a guy, do you like the guy who will chase after you and try to get you back or despite thinking thats what you want do you actually go for the guy who lets you walk out and ignores you and you find yourself going back to him?
I notice that despite women saying they want attentive sensitive guys that is not what they go for. It's definatley something subconsious but women want the guy who will take them or leave them to a certain extent. Assuming the guy hasn't done anything bad or wrong and your just in a stupid fight women want the guy who will let you walk out and not chase you, not the guy who goes chasing you down wth flowers apologizing.
I like what I like. The good/bad guy crap is exactly that....crap.
When I am angry at someone, I generally prefer that person to leave me alone until I calm down, and talk to them on my own. I'm that way with everyone. Not just guys.
This same topics gets asked or commented on alot in alot of differnet ways about teh whole nice guy or attentive guy vs jerks or bad boys?
I'm definately a believer in the whole women like alpha male type guys. Now that doesn't mean some big muscled macho guy, just more women like a guy who has his own life and own stuff going on, not some clingy guy who's all about them all the time, despite women sometimes saying this is what htey want.
Also say your mad at a guy, do you like the guy who will chase after you and try to get you back or despite thinking thats what you want do you actually go for the guy who lets you walk out and ignores you and you find yourself going back to him?
I notice that despite women saying they want attentive sensitive guys that is not what they go for. It's definatley something subconsious but women want the guy who will take them or leave them to a certain extent. Assuming the guy hasn't done anything bad or wrong and your just in a stupid fight women want the guy who will let you walk out and not chase you, not the guy who goes chasing you down wth flowers apologizing.
Just curious what men and women think about this?
It's hard to generalize people, and the way people want to be treated and how they react is all individual.
On the same token that you feel a lot of women want men to be the alpha types, it's also an easy comparison to say that all men want gigantic blow up dolls w/no personality and is just all looks. That's a part of marketing and social engineering. It's degrading to generalize all men a certain way. What we want in magazines isn't what appears to be IRL, and in reality, we're attracted to certain types of people for very specific reasons within our own unconscious. On a primal level, we may be attracted to confidence, beauty, looks, status, etc., but on a deeper more personal level it's different.
How we fight and how we resolve? I personally like it when I can frankly tell the person exactly what's on my mind. I don't like to have a guy go distant or go chasing. We have a calm discussion, and that's that. Feelings temporarily get hurt; people move on. As long as you communicate calmly and honestly, people will respect one another after conflict. Some people like drama. Some don't. Some people find drama as a way to stimulate sexual desires and to satiate emotional wounds. It's more than just as simplistic view of human nature, or what's published and written in crap manuals like "The System."
I categorically despise alpha men and prefer sensitive men who are in touch with their feelings. My first husband was distant, I hated it and it was one of the many things that led to our divorce.
I categorically despise alpha men and prefer sensitive men who are in touch with their feelings. My first husband was distant, I hated it and it was one of the many things that led to our divorce.
I think the problems arise when men are all one thing or the other. I don't want someone completely distant and I don't want a man that cries more than I do. But that's just me. I think most men are a mix of things. I'm sorry that your first husband wasn't. I couldn't be with a distant person.
It's hard to generalize people, and the way people want to be treated and how they react is all individual.
On the same token that you feel a lot of women want men to be the alpha types, it's also an easy comparison to say that all men want gigantic blow up dolls w/no personality and is just all looks. That's a part of marketing and social engineering. It's degrading to generalize all men a certain way. What we want in magazines isn't what appears to be IRL, and in reality, we're attracted to certain types of people for very specific reasons within our own unconscious. On a primal level, we may be attracted to confidence, beauty, looks, status, etc., but on a deeper more personal level it's different.
How we fight and how we resolve? I personally like it when I can frankly tell the person exactly what's on my mind. I don't like to have a guy go distant or go chasing. We have a calm discussion, and that's that. Feelings temporarily get hurt; people move on. As long as you communicate calmly and honestly, people will respect one another after conflict. Some people like drama. Some don't. Some people find drama as a way to stimulate sexual desires and to satiate emotional wounds. It's more than just as simplistic view of human nature, or what's published and written in crap manuals like "The System."
Its not about marketing and social norms, if you buy into this whole alpha theory its not something women have any control over, it's something genetic and built into us. Though we have evolved over the years some things stay the same like men being the pursuers and women being the pursued
Your blowup doll example is an example of social norms or marketing, what I'm talking about is that its actualy ingrained in women to want an alpha male type because deep within her she knows that guys can protect her and her children, has a higher sperm count, etc. This stuff is all built into us and not even coincious decisions.
I think the problems arise when men are all one thing or the other. I don't want someone completely distant and I don't want a man that cries more than I do. But that's just me. I think most men are a mix of things. I'm sorry that your first husband wasn't. I couldn't be with a distant person.
I definately agree with this. Almost never in life are extremes good whether its food habits, or dating or working out or anything else.
I guess my main point is guys on here are often whining about women leaving htem, not respecting them, seeing them as friends, etc.
I get the idea many of these guys are guys who are all about pleasing the women and never stick up or stand up for themselves. These are guys who want to do whatever teh women wants to do, want to watch whatever the women wants to watch, are afraid to tell a women she's wrong about something,e tc.
I think it's more a combination of the two. Don't be a pushover, but don't be super bossy either. Chicks tend to want someone who is more alpha even though they might not know it.
As far as this message board goes, guys will complain all the time, because they over think everything, and don't actually go out and GET OFF THE DAMN COMPUTER and live life! So of course they complain about "chicks wanting bad boys" and "should I see an escort or is being a 67 year old virgin a turnoff to ladies."
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