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Yes I've told him for years. He thinks I'm just being a b*tch*. He has hide lingerie from me. That's when I found out he puts it on to get himself off. I don't give a crap what he does I just hate liars. I told him I do feel self concious about myself and my body. I told him I'm not a fan but just don't lie about it. I don't know how else to get him to understand its just the lying that gets me. Now when I catch him lying I just ignore him and go to bed. I feel I have to get my point across somehow.
That sounds like a creep more than lying about porn. I would start heading for the door.
What's so hard to understand? There's maybe this one thing in his life that is HIS OWN and he doesn't feel like sharing it with you. He hides it BECAUSE you keep bugging him to watch it with you or show you or share it or whatever. Maybe it's kinda kinky, maybe he just wants this one little secret? You guys have sex every night...so just leave it alone and let him have a little space.
Does he really lie CONSTANTLY? Seems like he only lies about this sexual stuff and because you're CONSTANTLY asking him. If you're getting off, and he's not running around or watching porn instead of watching you, what exactly is the issue?
He lies about it because he doesn't want you to know about it. He is either embarrassed about it, or he doesn't want to hurt your feelings by letting you know that he secretly desires other women (like all men do). If you honestly don't care about it, than stop asking him about, as all you are going to do is make him resent you for busting his b@!!s about it, and give him a reason to lie.
As for watching it with him, he might use porn for an escape or fantasy. I know that even when I'm in a relationship, I still watch porn (by myself). It's an escape from the repetitiveness that even a great sex life creates. Sometimes my fantasy includes: A younger girl, a mature woman, blonde, brunette, interracial, thick, slender etc. No single woman could ever provide all of that, and there is nothing wrong with me desiring all of that, as we are unable to control our desires or thoughts. Humans are not meant to have only one sexual partner. If we where, then there wouldn't be such a strong urge to experience new partners. Halving one life partner makes sense for many societal reasons, but biologically is unfortunately not one of them.
If I were you, I would just let it go unless it's actually taking away from your sexual needs because you will find that pretty much any normal guy does this, and the bulk of us don't want to talk about it with our significant others because we live in a society that tells us this very normal behavior is somehow wrong.
Hi I am new here. I have read many discussions about husbands and porn, lying etc. Here is where I stand. I'm 28 and my husband is 43. I know all men look at porn. Its common. I don't really get mad about it. I get mad about him lying and being deceitful about it. Let me start here. When we first met I was the one who instigated sex. I have a high sex drive. I have told him many times I'm very sexual. He knows this by now. We've been together four yrs and married one. I've offered to buy and watch porn together. I've taken photos and made home flix with him. I wear lingerie for him. I pretty much do anything and everything he wants except anal. Just not ready for it. We overall have a healthy sex life. Most of the time we have sex every night. But he swears he isn't looking at porn and I find it. He hides it. He lies about it. He one time said it was an email. He doesn't have email. This really isn't about porn. Its just about the lying. No I don't like porn. I will watch it if he wants but he refuses to have me look at it with him. He refuses to.include me knowing that I'm open with alot of things. I don't get it. What should I do??
Why did you marry this guy, after living with him for a couple of years, knowing that he lied about his porn use? Why does he need to look at porn if he has a 20-something wife with a high sex drive?
If he's looking at porn daily and lying about it, it sounds like he has an addiction, and had one before you were in his life. I think you shouldn't have married him. What to do about it now? Decide if you can live with it or not. If not, your only choice is to leave, because he's not going to change.
When a partner, spouse, SO, constantly ask questions about something and snoop for evidence, it will only make the other person feel defensive, monitored and smothered. All qualities that are sure to doom any relationship and is probably why his knee jerk reaction is to deny it.
If you tell him the porn doesn't bother you, asking him about it and looking for evidence of his viewing habits is sending him mixed signals. I understand you're not happy about him lying about it, but if it truly doesn't bother you, then just drop it and enjoy the healthy sex life you stated you have with each other.
Most men watch some form of porn. It wouldn't bother me if he weren't addicted or if it didn't interfere with our sex life. I would be more concerned about him wearing lingerie than the porn. Maybe he is watching something or has desires that he doesn't want you know.
I agree with the the suggestions of leaving him alone about it. He will only get more secretive about what he is doing. At least now you know. If you just can't take it any more, decide what you need to do to be content with the situation or more on. Does he lie about other stuff?
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