I am a 39 year old divorced man. My ex and I was together for 10 years and we got divorced 2 years ago. We have one son who lives with my ex. I have been divorced for 2 years and dated a few women but all of them have small children and I feel that I won't be a good step father so I stopped dating. I am unable to find any single or divorced woman with no children.
Recently I was introduced to woman in Vietnam which is my home country. We have been chatting online for 3 months and I really like her. She is 12 years younger than me. When we first know each other. She told me that she broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years 3 months before because he doesn't want to marry her soon. He said he thinks he will get marry once his career is prospered and that makes her and her family uneasy. He is an international student studying in the US but being from a prominent family, he will go back to Vietnam once he completes his MBA. Being 27, she is under a lot of pressure to get marry as it is considered late in Vietnam for her age and she can't wait indefinitely without any commitment from him. Her mom yelled at her all the time about not getting marry. She also has concerns about the ex boyfriend and his wealthy family looking down on her family as they are middle class and in Vietnam the wealthy treats middle class/poor people badly. She also told me that she thinks she is the only one trying to maintain the relationship. She also worries about being a live-in daughter-in-law to a wealthy family which could be a nightmare. Most wealthy men in Vietnam will also have mistresses and that scares her. So those were the reasons for their break up. She was pretty honest with me.
In Vietnam, most people want to go to the US. So she was clear that she wants a better future for herself and her future children. I came from there, so I understand that. She is also attracted to me because I am educated and has a stable job with good income. I am attracted to her because she is pretty
, but she is a very good listener and she is also educated and speaks decent English. She also comes from a good Catholic family and her uncle is a priest. I like that even though I am not Catholic.
Everything was going well and I promised to travel back there to see her in January of 2015 until last week she told me that her ex boyfriend called her. He is coming home this December. She told me that he wants date her again and she is really confused. I asked her "what do you want to do?" and she told me "I don't know, I am confused". She told me that I care for her and the other guy doesn't and that I don't judge her family. I didn't like her answer. For a few days when we talk, she was distant and cold. And then yesterday she told me that she will meet him and tell him that it is over and she is looking forward to a future with me because I made her feel safe. She told me that I listen to her and care for her and she doesn't have to hide anything from me. She said she feels she has to present a perfect image to her ex and that is tiresome for her. She told me she didn't have to tell me about the ex calling and wanting to meet her but she respects me and told me about it so I should trust her.
From her tone of voice, it seems like she still cares for her ex bf and that bothers me a lot. It seems like they are not together only because he refuses to commit, looks down on her family, and doesn't pay much attention to her. I asked her "What if he proposes to you?". She told me that she made up her mind and she is looking to meet me in January and if we still click in person like we are online then we will move forward. I was very excited and looking to see her in January and already booked everything. Now I am not so sure anymore. They fact that the ex will be close to her in December makes me so uneasy. Is my jealousy and insecurities justified?
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