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The male is supposed to be the initiator, the aggressor. The woman is supposed to be the gatekeeper. If the man fails, it's a personal failure, a lack of fortitude or panache, a gnawing inadequacy. If the woman fails, it's because fate has failed to present her with decent options. Her failure might be just as irksome and as severe as the male's, but it doesn't reflect on her personally, whereas the man's failure does. Thus the male is more burdened by his failure to mate, more distraught and more mired in self-loathing.
No. If a woman fails it is because she's unattractive. Period. It is every bit as personal for women. Ugly men can make themselves more attractive through their achievements. That strategy wont work for an unattractive woman. If she didnt win the genetic lottery for looks, too bad for her.
Keep in mind, a lot of guys lie about virginity. I'm 24, and have never admitted to anybody that I'm a virgin. When my friends talk about sex, I always come up with some story about doing it with a girl from Tinder, or doing it with this girl while I was out of state.
Not that I think my friends would treat me any differently if I told them the truth, but I would definitely get some looks and question marks my way.
These specific guys I'm referring to...sure, they're bragging...but if I didn't know the specific girls they were bragging about, I'd consider they might be lying. The details came from the girls.
I'm also out meeting women. But it's an important thing to point out. Many posters here seem to have the viewpoint that women don't care about looks, which couldn't be further from the truth.
I agree. Everyone cares about looks. Men, women, doesn't matter. People are not going to date people they find physically repugnant.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cristo666
Also, it's important to note that if a guy comes along with better genetics, we could be dropped like a hot potato for something that isn't within our control. It also will factor in as far the level of attractiveness that we pursue. Important revelations, imo.
Standing around in a bar talking to someone you just met five minutes ago? Maybe. That's the breaks. Happens to women, too.
But once a relationship is established, no. People don't go dropping partners they care about because someone taller or better-looking--or richer, for that matter--comes along and says hello.
Funny, I would think a 5 in NY is an 8 in LA or Miami. I've been to LA and Miami and I wasn't impressed. Lots of scrawny people with too much plastic surgery and silicone. NY is the fashion capital of the world. Manhattan is teeming with beautiful women--and men. So maybe you're just referring to the Bronx?
Besides, it seems to me there are plenty of mere mortals walking around happily married. I just don't buy the whole implication that only beautiful people of either gender find love. Attractive people may meet more people (shocking, that attractive people attract, I know), but that doesn't mean average or plain people don't find happiness.
Hmm? I'm referring to the whole entire city. Last year I went out on a a date with with woman who is from LA. Again she is not all that pretty but I would not mind dating her. She told me she been with more guys in NYC in that year than she did ever in her entire life in LA. To me it's always average people looking for validation with a good looking mate. Nothing wrong with that but be careful with that! Everyone is pretty until the make up, jeans and girdles come off. Also there are plenty of plain Jane types from the Midwest, social rejects that walk around here as well.
Last edited by Bronxguyanese; 12-06-2014 at 05:05 AM..
Guess my husband lucked out with me. I both approached him first, AND voluntarily paid for myself on our first date. As was my custom as a single woman. No idea if I'm super rare or not. I do know that I don't really give a rat's ass about what is and isn't traditional. So, there's that.
I also would NEVER choose a first date/meet and greet that was gonna cost anybody thirty dollars. That's a bit steep for what amounts to a trial run. No, thanks.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 49ersfan27
Women like you are extremely rare. Your husband is one lucky man.
Agreed with 49ersfan27 here. At least in my experience. It's not to say it's never happened where a woman has approached me and asked me out. But I could probably count the number of times that has happened on one hand. I'd be curious to know how old you were when you first asked him out. I think older women tend to be more confident and aggressive than younger women in this regard.
Agreed with 49ersfan27 here. At least in my experience. It's not to say it's never happened where a woman has approached me and asked me out. But I could probably count the number of times that has happened on one hand. I'd be curious to know how old you were when you first asked him out. I think older women tend to be more confident and aggressive than younger women in this regard.
I think her point is a little eccentric and far-fetched if you ask me. I don't think most women subscribe to that viewpoint.
You think it's far-fetched and eccentric to think that teenage boys are more interested in sex than in some long-term, true-love type of relationship? I did specify that I was discussing "young men" that eventually mature into more level headed adults that seek more than just sex.
Perhaps you're right. I grew up where boys spent time drooling over scrambled porn in hopes to see some sort of recognizable body part and I didn't expect to find my one true love in high school because I figured guys were interested more in my body than my mind. In my high school, many women gained dating experience from the few guys brave enough to ask them out (and yes, those boys had the ultimate goal of sexual fulfillment).
I guess from the few Teen Mom episodes that I've endured, I can really see how my point is eccentric and far-fetched. Those boys are really after a life-long commitment when they ask those girls out in high school.
The male is supposed to be the initiator, the aggressor. The woman is supposed to be the gatekeeper. If the man fails, it's a personal failure, a lack of fortitude or panache, a gnawing inadequacy. If the woman fails, it's because fate has failed to present her with decent options. Her failure might be just as irksome and as severe as the male's, but it doesn't reflect on her personally, whereas the man's failure does. Thus the male is more burdened by his failure to mate, more distraught and more mired in self-loathing.
This is 100% true. Basically, the man puts in all of the work and has the make a good impression. Then the woman decides whether or not the male is worthy. If the man is ruled to be not worthy (for any number of small reasons), then she moves on to the next suitor in line. She will keep moving on until a suitor proves himself worthy.
In other words, women, in general, have WAY more options than men. So they can do whatever they want and treat others however they want because there will always be more men.
For men, unless they are out approaching constantly, they will not meet any women.
I was just rejected by a woman for unknown reasons. A mutual friend told me that she knows why but wants me to hear it from the rejector instead (not sure why). So I'll call her tomorrow and find out. I listed a bunch of reasons and apparently it's none of those. So I can't fathom what it could possibly be. But I'm sure it's either extremely small or a miscommunication. There's a reason why this woman is older and single, after all.
It's because even unattractive women get attention. I was recently in a facebook group for BBW's and when a woman posted a pic, even if her face was ugly she still got all these responses from men because their overall goal was sex
This is 100% true. Basically, the man puts in all of the work and has the make a good impression. Then the woman decides whether or not the male is worthy. If the man is ruled to be not worthy (for any number of small reasons), then she moves on to the next suitor in line. She will keep moving on until a suitor proves himself worthy.
In other words, women, in general, have WAY more options than men. So they can do whatever they want and treat others however they want because there will always be more men.
For men, unless they are out approaching constantly, they will not meet any women.
I was just rejected by a woman for unknown reasons. A mutual friend told me that she knows why but wants me to hear it from the rejector instead (not sure why). So I'll call her tomorrow and find out. I listed a bunch of reasons and apparently it's none of those. So I can't fathom what it could possibly be. But I'm sure it's either extremely small or a miscommunication. There's a reason why this woman is older and single, after all.
More and more women are initiating as well. Equal rights and all...opening up doors for women everywhere. Personally, I'm not great at it. I was going to offer my phone number to someone, panicked, then offered my Steam ID with absolutely no clue if they even played video games via digital content. I'm sure it will get easier.
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