How much alone time would you say is normal in a relationship?
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How much alone time would you say is normal in a relationship?
This isn't a question I have had to deal with in over a decade, however....
I'm not sure if "alone time" actually means that, or just time apart. When I was younger relationships tended to have a joined-at-the-hip need that it took awhile to realize was in some sense a kind of ritual confirmation of the validity of the relationship, and usually just plain out destructive in the end.
Later my MO was lots of apart time, which included some casual socializing with friends and maybe just doing a few things on my own (shows, etc.) But I also need real "alone time." Time spent by myself. Together time was usually Friday night to Sunday afternoon, with maybe a date during the week. Plus time spent on vacations and short trips, and a call on days where no time was spent together.
Hubby and I have been married for 40 years....we eat breakfast together, own a business and work together.... I leave early and come home, he follows a couple hours later, and he heads to his "man cave" while I do my thing, like fixing dinner, laundry, etc.....we eat together, and then he heads back to the 'cave', and I check e-mail or watch tv....
The exception is if we have someplace to go.... or a football game to watch! It works for us! We enjoy when we are together, but don't feel the need to be "joined at the hip"....we are comfortable with ourselves and being in our own space!
Me and my BF meets everyday also because we live near by, but there can be 1 out 10 that we don't see each other cause of the activities we have on that day. This is a very relative question, each individual would have their own answers.
As for me, I enjoy seeing my bf everyday, weekdays I only see him for 2 hours, but saturdays and sundays we tend to see each other more than half of the day.
This is a REALLY tough question, because everyone is different. I don't think there's really any "normal" here. It's what you're both comfortable with.
Personally, I need a lot of "quiet time." When I'm with someone I love, I am REALLY with that person, with my full attention on him (or her - this is anyone, not just in a romantic way but my friends, kids, family), and lots of laughs and affection. But then I really, really need my "me time." Not for anything crazy - just to read or what-have-you.
I also just can't completely relax if I have left tons of stuff undone. I HAVE to have my "stuff" done first, and that takes time. (I'm talking about work, housework, checking in with family and the like.)
If I wind up divorced, I will be dating again, I suppose, and that dude will have to be very understanding, because one weekend night and possibly one night during the week would be most comfortable for me. I don't do well with more than that. However, I would make great use of that time.
The appropriate amount of alone time is whatever amount of time is necessary for a couple to remain themselves and maintain their interests, activities, etc, while being content within their relationship and allow it to grow.
I will even contend, within a relationship, this amount of time can fluctuate from day to day, week to week, and year to year too.
Hubby and I have been married for 40 years....we eat breakfast together, own a business and work together.... I leave early and come home, he follows a couple hours later, and he heads to his "man cave" while I do my thing, like fixing dinner, laundry, etc.....we eat together, and then he heads back to the 'cave', and I check e-mail or watch tv....
The exception is if we have someplace to go.... or a football game to watch! It works for us! We enjoy when we are together, but don't feel the need to be "joined at the hip"....we are comfortable with ourselves and being in our own space!
You should post more in the relationship forum.
Advice from people like you is much more valuable as from the ones who never get laid.
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