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Old 12-09-2014, 10:00 AM
 
7,235 posts, read 7,021,234 times
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If you don't want to associate with "the modern woma" (is there just one?) because they are immoral, and you don't have access to a time machine, I guess you're out of luck.

 
Old 12-09-2014, 10:03 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,116,307 times
Reputation: 22275
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jr78512 View Post
Well as I said I am fine and I almost prefer not associating myself with the modern American female, who doesn't have morals. I was just lamenting. However, in real life if I was having the conversation I would be addressing your husband not you, as it is rude to address a married woman. Good bye.
I believe we are getting to the crux of the matter…
 
Old 12-09-2014, 10:04 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,754,614 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76 View Post
I believe we are getting to the crux of the matter…
Yeah, if the actual caveman had come out sooner, I would not have wasted my time trying to help.

I agree that he should do the world a favor and stay celibate.

Dude, it's not "the modern woman." It's your ego. You think you're better than they, which also is a sin FYI.
 
Old 12-09-2014, 10:05 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
3,287 posts, read 3,001,303 times
Reputation: 12570
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jr78512 View Post
I'm a 24 year old guy. Was in an LTR from 19-22, the person I was with was doing things that weren't very faithful or classy. Although I am pretty religious I did crack and have sex with that person, however I drew the line when they were into certain weird fetishes that just seemed immoral and wrong.

While I am not particularly looking for a relationship as I am in a transitional period in my life and moving across the country, I would like to get married and have children.

I'm Catholic, I don't believe in pre-marital sex or divorce. After having sex in my last relationship it opened Pandora's box in my opinion and let to it's end, I am not making that mistake again because there are more important things in life than cheap sex..

First off, I know it is going to b very hard to did someone willing to wait, because apparently that isn't cool in 2014 or whatever. I'm not a virgin, but I wish that I was because it was the biggest mistake of my life and in a perfect world the person I marry be a virgin too. However, just because of the time we live in I doubt I will find that. I am afraid to meet someone and get married because unfortunately in my generation divorce is so socially acceptable and alright that it is very likely (50%) to happen if for some reason we hit a rough patch. Due to my beliefs, even if a judge bangs a gavel and grants a divorce...I won't be divorced. So essentially if that happens when in 40 or whatever I will have to be alone for the rest of my life because touching anyone else would be adultery...

I honestly wish I was born 50 years earlier, when things like this were still important to most Americans, and I am almost afraid to even start a relationship knowing that something like what I described is possible, because it is better to not know what you're missing than to have something like a marriage and family and then be stuck in a forced state of monkhood until my "former" spouse dies and frees me up for marriage again, by which time I'll probably be 70.

I'm really thinking of permanent celibacy, I don't want to worry about this anymore. Sorry for venting.
There is, and never was, any perfect world as far as relationships, sex, drugs, alcohol, kinky behavior, etc.

50 years before you were born, Americans were doing exactly the same thing as now, just with fewer different types of drugs. They just hid it better and if the woman got pregnant, often got married in a rush or sent the woman off to get an illegal abortion or have her baby in hiding and give it away. I was born in 1953 and believe me, the 70s weren't much fun for me as a female, what with being constantly pressured to have sex without commitment.

I think you are being too "either/or" and you don't really need to make hard and fast rules at this moment about what you will or won't do in your next relationship or for the rest of your life. Good grief, sometimes things don't work out and seriously, God didn't make all those rules you think He did. Perhaps some serious Biblical study would be helpful as well, because sometimes what you are hearing from your church may not be the "be all and end all" of the truth about what is and is not. I mean, remember when every Catholic had to believe in Purgatory? What happened to Purgatory? Some time ago, you would have had to believe in that in order to be a good Catholic, and now poof, it's not on the table anymore. So if that can go away after hundreds of years, just think about maybe being a little more flexible, understanding, and forgiving of yourself.

Just date, and if you find someone you love and who loves you, at that point you can think about whether you want to wait until marriage or not. Someone worth spending your lifetime with will be okay with waiting. Someone who just wants some fun won't. So you will have a fairly easy way right off the bat of selecting out those you wouldn't want to waste your time with anyway.

And in my experience, if you find the right woman for you and you let her know that you want to get married and have children, you won't have any problem keeping her interest, even if you don't jump in the sack after three dates. A woman who is seriously looking for a good dad to her children might actually appreciate a man who respects himself and her enough to be patient.
 
Old 12-09-2014, 10:12 AM
 
880 posts, read 1,247,971 times
Reputation: 1800
Quote:
Originally Posted by va_bank View Post
The part about smoking crack makes it difficult for me to believe that a possibility of a divorce from a person you haven't met yet is the problem you should be worried about. And virginity? Well, it's not a very useful or interesting thing to have so I wouldn't fret about it either.
I'M SO SORRY - I totally misunderstood the line "I did crack and have sex with that person". Apologies.
 
Old 12-09-2014, 10:21 AM
 
1,285 posts, read 1,285,189 times
Reputation: 1730
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jr78512 View Post
Well obviously you cannot force anyone to stay in love with you, but in my religion. The Roman Catholic Church. There is not divorce regardless of love or not. You take your vows and you're in it for life regardless of how you feel, you have an obligation to provide for each other. Just in the last couple of decades is it okay to get divorced socially.

My parents aren't the happiest couple, by any means. But they stay together because it is against the rules of our faith not too, love isn't tangible nor definable but marriage is.

I would rather frankly be in a loveless marriage where I am not alone, than be in a marriage that is good and then it ends and whilst the other person goes and flouts around I have to stay true to my religion and never have sex again basically, and be alone for all my life.

There is of course risk in love, but there shouldn't be a risk in marriage. Till death do us part...that means nothing anymore and frankly I wish I was born 100 + years ago when things were still sacred to people.
So you would rather live in a loveless marriage than to break up? How sad is that? You support a bad marriage even if they are miserable? Don't get married....what would happen if the woman you married, ended up like the sinful harlot you dated before....always grabbing at you, doing things, wanting to put things where god didn't intend to have things put inside....SMH.....How would you handle that? If you had a woman, who wasn't aware of her kinky needs until after marriage when she got a taste of the meat?? If you couldn't handle her kinks, would you turn into her ****? Safer to be celibate .....
 
Old 12-09-2014, 10:36 AM
 
78 posts, read 56,075 times
Reputation: 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by vigueur2014 View Post
So you would rather live in a loveless marriage than to break up? How sad is that? You support a bad marriage even if they are miserable? Don't get married....what would happen if the woman you married, ended up like the sinful harlot you dated before....always grabbing at you, doing things, wanting to put things where god didn't intend to have things put inside....SMH.....How would you handle that? If you had a woman, who wasn't aware of her kinky needs until after marriage when she got a taste of the meat?? If you couldn't handle her kinks, would you turn into her ****? Safer to be celibate .....
Well, I would honestly encourage her to get therapy because there are some things that people aren't supposed to do.
 
Old 12-09-2014, 10:38 AM
 
78 posts, read 56,075 times
Reputation: 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
I think the traditional view on marriage was to increase wealth, strengthen alliances and to keep your woman from fornicating with another man and producing offspring that were not biologically heirs.
Yeah, if you were King Louis. For most it was to have the security of another person as well as to produce biological heirs
 
Old 12-09-2014, 10:40 AM
 
78 posts, read 56,075 times
Reputation: 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by irootoo View Post
There is, and never was, any perfect world as far as relationships, sex, drugs, alcohol, kinky behavior, etc.

50 years before you were born, Americans were doing exactly the same thing as now, just with fewer different types of drugs. They just hid it better and if the woman got pregnant, often got married in a rush or sent the woman off to get an illegal abortion or have her baby in hiding and give it away. I was born in 1953 and believe me, the 70s weren't much fun for me as a female, what with being constantly pressured to have sex without commitment.

I think you are being too "either/or" and you don't really need to make hard and fast rules at this moment about what you will or won't do in your next relationship or for the rest of your life. Good grief, sometimes things don't work out and seriously, God didn't make all those rules you think He did. Perhaps some serious Biblical study would be helpful as well, because sometimes what you are hearing from your church may not be the "be all and end all" of the truth about what is and is not. I mean, remember when every Catholic had to believe in Purgatory? What happened to Purgatory? Some time ago, you would have had to believe in that in order to be a good Catholic, and now poof, it's not on the table anymore. So if that can go away after hundreds of years, just think about maybe being a little more flexible, understanding, and forgiving of yourself.

Just date, and if you find someone you love and who loves you, at that point you can think about whether you want to wait until marriage or not. Someone worth spending your lifetime with will be okay with waiting. Someone who just wants some fun won't. So you will have a fairly easy way right off the bat of selecting out those you wouldn't want to waste your time with anyway.

And in my experience, if you find the right woman for you and you let her know that you want to get married and have children, you won't have any problem keeping her interest, even if you don't jump in the sack after three dates. A woman who is seriously looking for a good dad to her children might actually appreciate a man who respects himself and her enough to be patient.
While I thank you for the encouragement, I resent you making fun of my religion.
 
Old 12-09-2014, 10:45 AM
 
78 posts, read 56,075 times
Reputation: 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
Yeah, if the actual caveman had come out sooner, I would not have wasted my time trying to help.

I agree that he should do the world a favor and stay celibate.

Dude, it's not "the modern woman." It's your ego. You think you're better than they, which also is a sin FYI.
Sorry, but whatever morals are in fashion today just don't conform with my beliefs that have survived and existed for over a thousand years. People have always been immoral, but in most countries morality was enforced either by the law (the inquisition, banning of abortion and divorce, sodomy laws etc.) or by social custom (the girl who got pregnant before marriage would be ashamed and ostracized which encouraged other women to be chaste)

My problem is that the beliefs of today do not match up with my beliefs. I cannot change the world, but it just sucks to think about sometimes.


I'm not going to reply anymore, have fun.
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