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One thing that irritates the hell out of me is when people ask me "why are you single" right to my face. I mean they are looking right at me. They can obviously see that I'm a very large 6'5 300+ lbs man which turns nearly everyone off. If I find a girl who is blind to my looks, then my awkward introverted personality will finish the job of turning them off.
I think it is insulting to my intelligence that people have the nerve to ask why I've never had a girlfriend when they already know the g$&damn answer is standing right in their face. What the is these people's motivation? To make jokes, rub it in, what?
Maybe they ask you that because they are not the kind of people to judge others on their looks.
So, it's starting to sound unanimous, OP. They're asking you that because you look like you have your act together. And maybe also because you're big and tall. You look imposing. Commanding. I bet you make a completely different impression on people than you think you do. Remember, they're not living inside your head, so they don't know what's going on in there. Only you do. They see a guy who got a good job in a good location right out of school, who's tall, educated and together, by all appearances.
It's still an inappropriate question, IMO, but it helps to know where the people asking it are coming from.
I call BS on most of this. TO see a 500lb woman and a 400lb woman in ones lifetime is really not normal. You saw this folks on a scale personally?
And then the wheelchair guy with bad teeth has a "beautiful" wife? Really? Beauitful is probably a subjective term here.
As far as you own situation, IDK. Maybe, Ive never seen your husband and dont know his whole situation but it seem like u exaggerated quite a bit in this post.
To the Op, at 6'5 and over 300lbs, it only takes a slight adjustment to get thinner. basically just normal eating, not even crazy dieting. You're attitude will probably improve.
And at that size u should be in the gym hitting the weights. Good God man, At 6'5, 250 you could end up something like Dwayne Johnson. Really no excuse for grown men not to be working out unless they are a single dad with multiple kids or handicapped somehow.
That thought crossed my mind also, but I was also thinking she is just trying to make him feel a little better about himself.
One thing that irritates the hell out of me is when people ask me "why are you single" right to my face. I mean they are looking right at me. They can obviously see that I'm a very large 6'5 300+ lbs man which turns nearly everyone off. If I find a girl who is blind to my looks, then my awkward introverted personality will finish the job of turning them off.
I think it is insulting to my intelligence that people have the nerve to ask why I've never had a girlfriend when they already know the g$&damn answer is standing right in their face. What the is these people's motivation? To make jokes, rub it in, what?
(To OP):
Another Relationships thread that goes ape*** within 12 hrs of posting. Love C-D, I do: this is the sub-forum where relationships go to die, I suspect. Much like IKEA.
Anyone asks me why I don't have a girlfriend, I ask them on the spot about their single sisters and friends. Clams them up. On rare occasion, I'm set up on a date (Win-Win).
The only thing in your way is you. So, you're a giant. Clean up your act, you can't help the 6'5" part and I'd play that off. Cut it to maybe 240# of hard muscle instead and you'll be a man to be feared, not loathed. Simple as that, along with maybe a thousand bucks in decent clothes and accessories (to start).
Chicks like tall guys. Some are chubby-chasers. Some like giants. Spend enough time around them, you'll see that there are chicks for every guy. Not as many as you'd like, but they're out there.
The "introverted and whatever blah blah" you'll have to solve some other way. Join some militants. Get some tattoos, start dressing in black or gray only and ride a Harley Davidson around town with loud pipes. Pledge to a biker gang. Be a Shrek/ogre. Certain kind of women will then find YOU. Yes, reading your profile you're a Master's student, professional, and all that. But gotta find the wild-side, also, for success with women!
Oh, and stop posting to this damn thing all the time.
P.S.:
To an extent, I've been there/done that, though I'm 5'11" and not 6'5". I'm a semi-reformed bad boy with a hint of brimstone. Some women find that interesting. Having a job and disposable income helps, too. Right now there is a slinky chocolate chick making eyes at me; unfortunately, I work with her and I don't mess around at work. I have no idea why she took an instant like to me, nor do I ask dumb questions or think twice about the 'why'. But she's got friends, I'm sure. The visual of one of her cool jazz-baby friends with me, semi-square white boy, is highly amusing. I'll try anything once, twice if I like it.
I know of at least 2 women right now that would be fine with a 6'5" 300lb guy. A friend of mine from college - a hottie at that - married a guy that fits that description pretty closely. I don't think the question is a dig on your appearance.
My experience is that people are single because they want to be - they're too picky, they're stuck on an ex, they're afraid or unwilling to actually try asking someone out, they don't or won't see the obvious opportunity right in front of them or they just don't mind being single, they refuse to make relatively small lifestyle changes to accomodate another person, all variants of being single of their own accord. Other reasons outside their control typically involve health issues - mental or physical.
The more accurate question is "why don't you date?" I know a few people - both women and men - that are single and have been for years despite seeming like decent prospects for their ages -- but they seem not to be interested in dating. I have this compulsion to ask them "what's up with that?" but will not because it's so rude and I'm not good enough friends with them.
Last edited by redguard57; 12-10-2014 at 06:19 PM..
We ought to consider the countervailing view: if a single person is NOT asked about his/her single-status, if it is somehow expected for him/her to be single, does this not imply a negative judgment, that said person suffers from various ills, that preclude his/her finding a partner? To this I can speak from personal experience. Back when I was married, people whom I met in daily life would be shocked to learn of the fact. They expected for me to be single. Now that I'm single, people who are aware of my personality and values regard it as being natural and appropriate, as if it were a return to normalcy.
So there is reason for the OP to regard the inquiry into his single-hood as positive affirmation of his capacity to be married.
I know of at least 2 women right now that would be fine with a 6'5" 300lb guy. A friend of mine from college - a hottie at that - married a guy that fits that description pretty closely. I don't think the question is a dig on your appearance.
My experience is that people are single because they want to be - they're too picky, they're stuck on an ex, they're afraid or unwilling to actually try asking someone out, they don't or won't see the obvious opportunity right in front of them or they just don't mind being single, they refuse to make relatively small lifestyle changes to accomodate another person, all variants of being single of their own accord. Other reasons outside their control typically involve health issues - mental or physical.
The more accurate question is "why don't you date?" I know a few people - both women and men - that are single and have been for years despite seeming like decent prospects for their ages -- but they seem not to be interested in dating. I have this compulsion to ask them "what's up with that?" but will not because it's so rude and I'm not good enough friends with them.
I agree with the rest of your but the bolded. There's nothing wrong with asking the question. I usually just responded with 'Dating just doesn't matter that much to me right now' or something like that. I do tend to get annoyed when the person keeps prying past that though. That's when it crosses the line from innocent curiosity to rudeness. As long as the answer isn't inflammatory or offensive, it should just be taken as is.
Man...A couple of months ago a "friend-enemy" told me when I was telling her about my incident with a potential candidate for a serious relationship..."What do you have to offer? Why don't you live alone?" I told her why do I need to live alone if I don't have a steady girlfriend yet...I know couples who rent an apartment...she was bugging over and over in this "superiority" tone...and I just walk and left before I gave her a good "F U".
I think she is borderline or something cause she always lose friends for her lousy people skills.
These folks do know me beyond my outside appearance, which again should be obvious my personality should turn most people off who ain't turned off by my appearance.
Perhaps like me they see something in you that you don't yet see in yourself
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is these people's motivation? To make jokes, rub it in, what?
