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Old 12-11-2014, 07:25 PM
 
2 posts, read 2,136 times
Reputation: 10

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This is kinda long but bear with me. I'm very confused. Me and this girl had a fling over the Summer. We were very close friends for a few months then started hooking up. We were friends with benefits for like 2 months after that. The only thing was that she had a boyfriend during that time. It didn't bother me though because they were kinda long distance so they only saw each other once every week or 2. He also treated her terribly and she was pissed at him more than she was happy with him so I knew she would eventually break up with him. The only thing about our FWB relationship was that it wasn't really FWB. We hooked up and everything but then she would fall asleep in my arms and we would end up cuddling all the time and tell each other our deepest secrets and everything. We told each other things that we never told anyone else and had very deep conversations about everything. She told me that I was her best friend all the time and meant it. She's the only person in my life who I thought actually understood me. I had feelings for her and she said that she had feelings for me but I was still guarded about falling for her because of the boyfriend. I tried to break it off with her at the end of the Summer because I had feelings for her and I didn't want to keep hooking up while she had a boyfriend but she ended up calling me crying like an hour later and begged me to not leave her. That didn't make any sense to me because I told her I still wanted to hang out with her and stuff but just not hook up. But that broke her heart for some reason. We ended up having sex again that night and I've never had anyone look at me the way that she looked at me that night. She looked like she was in love to be honest

She broke up with the boyfriend the next day. We were supposed to hang out the day after that but she blew me off to hang out with some other random guy she had met through a mutual friend. They were just friends and they still are but I knew she did that to make me jealous. She had never blown me off like that before so I was very confused. We ended up getting in a fight that night and I broke things off with her again because I didn't want to deal with her playing games. We talked about it the next day and agreed that it was probably for the best and that we should stay friends. I should also note that she had trust issues with me while we were FWB. I have a lot of female friends, several of which where either I have had feelings for them or they have had feelings for me. That was the main reason why she didn't want to be exclusive. She didn't like that I had female friends and was very jealous of all of them. In the months since, she still has randomly texted me about guy problems a few times and has asked to hang out a few times, but then flakes the next day. I don't understand her. I want to be friends with her but she is making things very difficult. On top of that, she tries to make me jealous. We work in the same office so we see each other fairly often. It's always civil and we'll have short conversations but never really talk that much. There's this guy that she friend zoned that she has came in with several times during my shifts when she hasn't been working because she "Forgot something from her desk". But I know her and she's always overly affectionate with this guy in front of me to the point that everyone can tell that it's fake. My coworkers have made comments about her only acting like that with guys when I'm around. My question is, why is this girl doing this? She knows that I'm over her. I just want to be friends but she's being so immature
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Old 12-11-2014, 07:51 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,649,447 times
Reputation: 98359
How magnanimous that it didn't bother you that she had a boyfriend.

Forget her. She's immature and thoughtless.
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Old 12-11-2014, 08:01 PM
 
3,603 posts, read 5,920,939 times
Reputation: 3366
She's controlling, manipulative, and a player.

Let's be honest with each other. You don't want to be "just friends". So what good would a friendship do you when you know she's going to keep teasing you?

The discomfort you're feeling at work is one of the consequences of hooking up with a coworker.
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Old 12-11-2014, 08:19 PM
 
Location: Springfield
709 posts, read 763,591 times
Reputation: 1486
I started reading this, but it gave me a seizure.
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Old 12-11-2014, 08:21 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,389,215 times
Reputation: 40197
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jscott79 View Post
This is kinda long but bear with me. I'm very confused. Me and this girl had a fling over the Summer. We were very close friends for a few months then started hooking up. We were friends with benefits for like 2 months after that. The only thing was that she had a boyfriend during that time. It didn't bother me though because they were kinda long distance so they only saw each other once every week or 2. He also treated her terribly and she was pissed at him more than she was happy with him so I knew she would eventually break up with him. The only thing about our FWB relationship was that it wasn't really FWB. We hooked up and everything but then she would fall asleep in my arms and we would end up cuddling all the time and tell each other our deepest secrets and everything. We told each other things that we never told anyone else and had very deep conversations about everything. She told me that I was her best friend all the time and meant it. She's the only person in my life who I thought actually understood me. I had feelings for her and she said that she had feelings for me but I was still guarded about falling for her because of the boyfriend. I tried to break it off with her at the end of the Summer because I had feelings for her and I didn't want to keep hooking up while she had a boyfriend but she ended up calling me crying like an hour later and begged me to not leave her. That didn't make any sense to me because I told her I still wanted to hang out with her and stuff but just not hook up. But that broke her heart for some reason. We ended up having sex again that night and I've never had anyone look at me the way that she looked at me that night. She looked like she was in love to be honest

She broke up with the boyfriend the next day. We were supposed to hang out the day after that but she blew me off to hang out with some other random guy she had met through a mutual friend. They were just friends and they still are but I knew she did that to make me jealous. She had never blown me off like that before so I was very confused. We ended up getting in a fight that night and I broke things off with her again because I didn't want to deal with her playing games. We talked about it the next day and agreed that it was probably for the best and that we should stay friends. I should also note that she had trust issues with me while we were FWB. I have a lot of female friends, several of which where either I have had feelings for them or they have had feelings for me. That was the main reason why she didn't want to be exclusive. She didn't like that I had female friends and was very jealous of all of them. In the months since, she still has randomly texted me about guy problems a few times and has asked to hang out a few times, but then flakes the next day. I don't understand her. I want to be friends with her but she is making things very difficult. On top of that, she tries to make me jealous. We work in the same office so we see each other fairly often. It's always civil and we'll have short conversations but never really talk that much. There's this guy that she friend zoned that she has came in with several times during my shifts when she hasn't been working because she "Forgot something from her desk". But I know her and she's always overly affectionate with this guy in front of me to the point that everyone can tell that it's fake. My coworkers have made comments about her only acting like that with guys when I'm around. My question is, why is this girl doing this? She knows that I'm over her. I just want to be friends but she's being so immature
You fell in love, she didn't.

She actually sounds too immature to understand what love really is.

Ignore her! She's in to game playing like all little girls.

Living well is truly the best revenge. Remember no one can "make" you jealous without your permission.
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Old 12-11-2014, 08:26 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,763 posts, read 52,717,738 times
Reputation: 25361
Quote:
Originally Posted by troymclure View Post
I started reading this, but it gave me a seizure.
It just made my eyes hurt.
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Old 12-11-2014, 08:28 PM
 
2 posts, read 2,136 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
How magnanimous that it didn't bother you that she had a boyfriend.

Forget her. She's immature and thoughtless.
It didn't bother me because when we started hooking up, I had feelings for another girl so it didn't bother me. But it started to because I developed feelings for her. All of my friends keep telling me to move on but it's hard because I still want her in my life. We were very close before all the drama and I just want things to go back to how they were before. I'm starting to realize that she's not worth the trouble though.
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Old 12-11-2014, 08:29 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,389,215 times
Reputation: 40197
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jscott79 View Post
It didn't bother me because when we started hooking up, I had feelings for another girl so it didn't bother me. But it started to because I developed feelings for her. All of my friends keep telling me to move on but it's hard because I still want her in my life. We were very close before all the drama and I just want things to go back to how they were before. I'm starting to realize that she's not worth the trouble though.
You can't put an egg back in its shell once it's been cracked open.

You've got to move on now honey.
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Old 12-11-2014, 08:39 PM
 
3,603 posts, read 5,920,939 times
Reputation: 3366
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
You can't put an egg back in its shell once it's been cracked open.

You've got to move on now honey.
You can't always get what you want.
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Old 12-11-2014, 08:44 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,086 posts, read 107,113,138 times
Reputation: 115875
She's not worth the aggravation to have her in your life. Take a good look at your story:

She's cool as long as you two aren't exclusive.
As soon as you're exclusive, she starts playing games, big time.
Then she starts looking for another guy, or guys. Who needs that?! Do you really need that in your life?

And think about this:

Did her bf know she had a FBW? Probably not. Do you want to be the next sucker?

Things aren't going to go back to how they were. Only if she gets another bf, and you're the FWB will they do that. She's not capable of being exclusive. She's not the person you thought she was, unfortunately.

Move on.
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