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How did you have this deep conversation with her husband there?
We were just at a table chatting while he was talking to other people. We alluded to feelings just to air them out. He even came back while we were in conversation, and indirectly brought him into it. He knows both of us in that we talk deep, and in some ways is glad I'm there for her in that regard because he can't do it. When her and I talk he tunes us out anyways because he just isn't into depth of conversation in the way we are. And bottom line - it's about trust. He trusts me, I trust myself, I trust her, and nothing has ever happened nor will as I stated.
If you read the OP carefully, it is clear that there was no conversation. This is all playing out in his head.
OK, if that's what you want to believe. You can read what I write as a fantasy put on paper - that's your choice because you don't know a thing about me. It's all good.
Honestly I can't say I have ever had these problems in my married life.
Setting boundaries at work is just as important as the outside world. You spend just as much time if not more with your coworkers as you do your SO. If you allow others in to your life that's exactly what you will get. The deeper you allow people in, the deeper the potential connections get.
Marriages require boundaries to survive.
Respect and love only get you so far..just becuase we have found "someone" doesn't mean there are not others out there just as compatible. It's up to you as a married person to set your boundaries with others we come across in life and keep those who would threaten your marriage away from where they can cause harm.
The tricky part is learning to evaluate situations, people and circumstances. taking a step away from your own perspective to take and make bipartisan view points and choices before you have allowed things to become peronsal in nature. Not many people I know do this and as a result often have issues resulting from the interference of others creep in to their everyday.
All of this ^^^ is absolute truth.
Commitment is a choice, not a magical feeling that takes over. It's a choice you make every day, and right now with all the mess going on, you and your wife don't know if you will keep the commitment.
OP, you have been coasting through your marriage for apparently SEVERAL years now, and this situation IS a problem because it will distract you from the very important work you need to do with your wife. The last thing you need is another so-called "deep thinker" next to you all day, bringing your subconscious to places it really does not need to go right now.
Sell this story to one of the tv stations. I'm sure tons of people will pay to see how things unravel. If anyone can watch the Khardashians and like it, I'm sure your show will be a hit. Lol
Commitment is a choice, not a magical feeling that takes over. It's a choice you make every day, and right now with all the mess going on, you and your wife don't know if you will keep the commitment.
OP, you have been coasting through your marriage for apparently SEVERAL years now, and this situation IS a problem because it will distract you from the very important work you need to do with your wife. The last thing you need is another so-called "deep thinker" next to you all day, bringing your subconscious to places it really does not need to go right now.
...which was also touched upon last night. We comprehend the complexity, yet understand where to file it. Again, no one here knows me other than through the typed word, I understand that. But I am a person who has, up until now, understood how to reign in thoughts that come into the head when they shouldn't or weren't asked for. This was one of them. In truth I'm very glad the conversation took place, because it allowed me to unhide the file, open it up, discuss it, and close the file and lock it away. I WILL talk with her Monday and ensure she feels the same way, which I really think she does.
It's not always about trusting your companion, but it's equally important to trust yourself. In that regards, I do trust myself. Temptation is what it is. It will happen. I trust myself wholeheartedly to fend off temptation, and I say that with true honesty. I have no fear in being untrue to myself, as again, it's just not who I am. I have just used this forum as a journal of sorts, to write down my thoughts in this difficult time of my life. It's hard to convey, and impossible for anyone here to believe (because they don't know me), that when I write down my issues, it's because it is therapy to me - it's a release, better than holding it all in. And for the most part, what I've enjoyed in my short time here is most people being supportive and not judgmental.
Sell this story to one of the tv stations. I'm sure tons of people will pay to see how things unravel. If anyone can watch the Khardashians and like it, I'm sure your show will be a hit. Lol
...which was also touched upon last night. We comprehend the complexity, yet understand where to file it. Again, no one here knows me other than through the typed word, I understand that. But I am a person who has, up until now, understood how to reign in thoughts that come into the head when they shouldn't or weren't asked for. This was one of them. In truth I'm very glad the conversation took place, because it allowed me to unhide the file, open it up, discuss it, and close the file and lock it away. I WILL talk with her Monday and ensure she feels the same way, which I really think she does.
It's not always about trusting your companion, but it's equally important to trust yourself. In that regards, I do trust myself. Temptation is what it is. It will happen. I trust myself wholeheartedly to fend off temptation, and I say that with true honesty. I have no fear in being untrue to myself, as again, it's just not who I am. I have just used this forum as a journal of sorts, to write down my thoughts in this difficult time of my life. It's hard to convey, and impossible for anyone here to believe (because they don't know me), that when I write down my issues, it's because it is therapy to me - it's a release, better than holding it all in. And for the most part, what I've enjoyed in my short time here is most people being supportive and not judgmental.
So you weren't even a tiny bit flattered that this happened? You had NO revenge thoughts at all re: your wife?
...which was also touched upon last night. We comprehend the complexity, yet understand where to file it. Again, no one here knows me other than through the typed word, I understand that. But I am a person who has, up until now, understood how to reign in thoughts that come into the head when they shouldn't or weren't asked for. This was one of them. In truth I'm very glad the conversation took place, because it allowed me to unhide the file, open it up, discuss it, and close the file and lock it away. I WILL talk with her Monday and ensure she feels the same way, which I really think she does.
It's not always about trusting your companion, but it's equally important to trust yourself. In that regards, I do trust myself. Temptation is what it is. It will happen. I trust myself wholeheartedly to fend off temptation, and I say that with true honesty. I have no fear in being untrue to myself, as again, it's just not who I am. I have just used this forum as a journal of sorts, to write down my thoughts in this difficult time of my life. It's hard to convey, and impossible for anyone here to believe (because they don't know me), that when I write down my issues, it's because it is therapy to me - it's a release, better than holding it all in. And for the most part, what I've enjoyed in my short time here is most people being supportive and not judgmental.
You should know how to filter the fluff from those actually trying to help by now.
You sound like a very level headed person and know what you should or shouldn't be doing. I just hope, for the sake of your marriage you don't start thinking with the little head when this other lady starts pouring her "heart" to you.
The grass imho is NEVER greener on the other side. My uncle is still trying to win back him family after his "deeper connection" with his physician fell apart. Get rid of this woman or stop entertaining the thought of romancing her before you do something incredibly stupid...thinking with the little head would do that to you. #JustSaying
... because it allowed me to unhide the file, open it up, discuss it, and close the file and lock it away.
It feels like "boxing off" your emotions is what led to problems with your wife.
Quote:
Originally Posted by metalmancpa
I WILL talk with her Monday and ensure she feels the same way, which I really think she does.
This is a bad idea. The two of you alone, discussing your "connection," is just a form of mutual mental masturbation. You need to negate and ignore it.
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