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Well, you are making a bug assumption and employing over dramatization here. Emotional abuse? Caused by an encouragement to lose weight?
You don't know about their relationship and the OP did not really indicate how she felt about this. It could've been a joke or perhaps their communication is direct and to the point.
I wonder what you would've said if she yelled at her bf to do some cleaning or to call before going out with his friends. I bet that would be considered a needed communication within the relationship.
It seems that a lot of the American women are really sensitive about the weight issues. I wonder why...
Maybe your the one making assumptions. My reply was to another poster about how the conversation had turned regarding planned use of humiliation as a tactic to encourage change in a relationship, and NOT about the OP or that situation directly.
Maybe the break-up and divorce rate would be much less if people weren't letting themselves go then being sensitive on top of that. She had the power to prevent all of this. She made her choice and now SHE MUST live with it.
We don't let ourselves go then now get to choose how we are regarded..... Tighten up your act and you won't have these issues.
Oh please , tiger woods and James James had pretty wives but still cheated their wives.
If you base off your relationship just on looks it is not going to last.
The guy was a bit mean to her.
Tell him he's an idiot, dump him and his things in the gutter then go find a real man who actually loves and respects you.
Typical emotional overreaction that the OP is getting from the relationship jaded and possibly overweight crowd here. You (and others who posted similar things like you did here about the man the OP is probably in LOVE WITH) didnt bother to check the OPs posting history. You didnt bother to ask her HOW he mentioned it. You didnt bother to ask her anything!!! You just took it upon yourself to start saying rude, hateful, mean things about a man who the OP is in a relationship with (who she probably loves). This serves no useful purpose to the OP.
Most women are sensitive to weight issues. It's not some great mystery. So much importance is placed on how a woman looks. We are taught that our worth as a human being is directly related to how attractive we are. We are told that in order for men to love us, we have to be attractive.
Well, I don't know who tells you that your "worth as a human being" is related to your attractiveness. Trashy magazines that you like to read or stupid shows on cable TV? Turn that off and save money. But it is true that "in order for men to love us , we have to be attractive". Attractive to a particular man that could mean different things. Yes, I believe it is common knowledge that physical attraction is an integral component of love. But the same is true for women, they have to be physically attracted to men for love to develop. And most healthy men are not attracted to seriously overweight women who are also physically unfit. Maybe being a little plump is OK but 50 pounds is way too much...
So I don't understand why many America women go absolutely crazy when men mention their weight. Every man is different, but for many healthy men it is physically hard to be attracted to women who are noticeably overweight.
Typical emotional overreaction that the OP is getting from the relationship jaded and possibly overweight crowd here. You (and others who posted similar things like you did here about the man the OP is probably in LOVE WITH) didnt bother to check the OPs posting history. You didnt bother to ask her HOW he mentioned it. You did bother to ask her anything!!! You just took it upon yourself to start saying rude, hateful, mean things about a man who the OP is in a relationship with (who she probably loves). This serves no useful purpose to the OP.
Thanks for the laugh! I'm going to start posting links to my own posts and saying how they are the best posts!
Can I ask why you are assuming that people that disagree with you are overweight and jaded - and yet you think it's wrong for us to assume that he was rude?
He was rude. I'm not overweight or jaded. I have a wonderful husband who knows better than to say something stupid and hurtful like that to me.
Well, I don't know who tells you that your "worth as a human being" is related to your attractiveness. Trashy magazines that you like to read or stupid shows on cable TV? Turn that off and save money. But it is true that "in order for men to love us , we have to be attractive". Attractive to a particular man that could mean different things. Yes, I believe it is common knowledge that physical attraction is an integral component of love. But the same is true for women, they have to be physically attracted to men for love to develop. And most healthy men are not attracted to seriously overweight women who are also physically unfit. Maybe being a little plump is OK but 50 pounds is way too much...
So I don't understand why many America women go absolutely crazy when men mention their weight. Every man is different, but for many healthy men it is physically hard to be attracted to women who are noticeably overweight.
Yes, it's all because of trashy magazines that I like to read.
Are you a woman? If not - then you simply have no idea how much pressure is put on us to look perfect.
With all t his "lose weight" advice and bashing on the weight of women, I am not even confident whether I know if she is someone we would even consider obese or not by normal standards.
Lets face it, there are guys out there who would tell someone they are overweight or needed to lose weight if they were just a few pounds past ideal. (Well, there are at least on this forum but I suspect they are out and about).
Beyond the case of the OP, there are enough people in general that place SO much importance on physical size and attributes, force fed through the idealized bodies marketed all over the place. Weather or not a particular woman should be more confident in herself, or put more work in herself isn't going to change this idealization and idealized expectation some men adopt from it. It does have a profound affect on some too. We would not have the eating disorders we do, where young women starve themselves unhealthily lose more weight, when they are stick thin as it is.
Ultimately there is a ton of things to consider in regards to weight. An awful lot of broad assumptions are being made in this thread... and goes back to my original post. I asked the OP how it made her feel. Important? I think so. We have no idea the true context or tone of the conversation or whether the OP was hurt or not by the statement.
2. Take healthy lifestyle steps if you feel you could be more fit and healthy and feel the need to do so.
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