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Old 05-20-2011, 06:45 AM
 
Location: colorado
2,788 posts, read 4,131,991 times
Reputation: 3287

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Quote:
Originally Posted by doglover29 View Post
I'm interested to hear about what people's perceptions of stay-at-home spouses (no children) are.

This is a spouse who stays at home (when there are no children), while the other spouse works, either because there is no financial need for that person to work or because he or she doesn't want to.

For instance, take a newly married, young couple where the husband is a corporate lawyer and the wife was a preschool teacher. Because the wife makes in a day what the husband makes in 15 minutes, the wife decides to quit her job and stay home, even though they don't plan to have kids for many years. The wife just doesn't think it's worth her time to work given that the husband's salary supports them both well.

Or, perhaps the stay-at-home spouse never found a career/job passion and instead would rather just to what he or she feels like doing, whether it's working on hobbies all day, reading, or whatever.

Is the stay-at-home spouse considered lazy? If there is no financial need for them to work, should they do so anyway? Or is contributing in some way to society acceptable (i.e. volunteer work). Must the stay-at-home spouse contribute in an equal way to the home through chores? If so, how can you judge what an acceptable contribution would be? Or do you think it's okay for the stay-at-home spouse to just do whatever he or she wants, and have fun, while the other spouse is working.

I'm interested in hearing people's opinions on this.


I say lazy...no ambition...someone who dont value themselves..LAZY
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Old 05-20-2011, 06:57 AM
 
Location: New York
1,339 posts, read 2,141,949 times
Reputation: 1505
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeepgirl27 View Post
I say lazy...no ambition...someone who dont value themselves..LAZY
Thats quite a generalization, read my post just before yours and then tell me how lazy I am...

My day today ...

6.30 - alarm goes off.
Its 9am and I have had breakfast with husband loaded both the dishwasher and washing machine, changed the sheets on the bed, made up the spare room for our weekends guests and put together a shopping list for the next 3 days.
I've chatted online with some people doing the same degree as I am about an assignment due in June. I'll skype my mum before I hoover the house and do the ironing.

I'll be going to the supermarket before lunch and have lunch at home.

This afternoon I'll be making thai green curry and a beef red curry for dinner tomorrow. I'm making chilli for dinner tonight.

I need to do some research online for my assignment and also for an upcoming trip to California as we want to pre book some hotel rooms for our drive and I need to arrange the car hire. I need to get some train tickets bought for a trip to Europe in August as they have just become available on the internet.
Husband will come home at around 6pm, we will eat around 7pm and then watch a movie....

are all SAHS still lazy ??
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Old 05-20-2011, 07:12 AM
 
Location: Emerald Coast, FL
5,141 posts, read 7,651,662 times
Reputation: 8271
Sometimes a stay-at-home wife has no choice, perhaps because of disability. Maybe the OP didn't think of that possibility. For many years, we were in that situation, but even then, she did as much as she could to take care of the house and garden - and me. A year ago, an effective treatment for her condition was found, and she's been recovering, volunteering, and returning to school for a new career. She is one of the most motivated and least lazy or self-indulgent people I know, so I don't think you can easily generalize about people who do stay home for whatever reason. Sure, some are lazy, but many have other reasons.
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Old 05-20-2011, 11:35 AM
 
Location: colorado
2,788 posts, read 4,131,991 times
Reputation: 3287
Quote:
Originally Posted by swisswife View Post
Thats quite a generalization, read my post just before yours and then tell me how lazy I am...

My day today ...

6.30 - alarm goes off.
Its 9am and I have had breakfast with husband loaded both the dishwasher and washing machine, changed the sheets on the bed, made up the spare room for our weekends guests and put together a shopping list for the next 3 days.
I've chatted online with some people doing the same degree as I am about an assignment due in June. I'll skype my mum before I hoover the house and do the ironing.

I'll be going to the supermarket before lunch and have lunch at home.

This afternoon I'll be making thai green curry and a beef red curry for dinner tomorrow. I'm making chilli for dinner tonight.

I need to do some research online for my assignment and also for an upcoming trip to California as we want to pre book some hotel rooms for our drive and I need to arrange the car hire. I need to get some train tickets bought for a trip to Europe in August as they have just become available on the internet.
Husband will come home at around 6pm, we will eat around 7pm and then watch a movie....

are all SAHS still lazy ??

Yes...but if thats what you prefer for your life..thats your business
But yes I do say lazy..
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Old 05-20-2011, 11:39 AM
 
Location: colorado
2,788 posts, read 4,131,991 times
Reputation: 3287
Quote:
Originally Posted by TaoistDude View Post
Sometimes a stay-at-home wife has no choice, perhaps because of disability. Maybe the OP didn't think of that possibility. For many years, we were in that situation, but even then, she did as much as she could to take care of the house and garden - and me. A year ago, an effective treatment for her condition was found, and she's been recovering, volunteering, and returning to school for a new career. She is one of the most motivated and least lazy or self-indulgent people I know, so I don't think you can easily generalize about people who do stay home for whatever reason. Sure, some are lazy, but many have other reasons.

I see the difference..but when a woman don't work and she is able to and she has no kids holding her back and her excuse is because my husband works..I don't get..too many women are dependant on their husbands..with the divorce rate so high you think they would want to have some job skills..
But if its a medical condition now thats a different story.

I am a big supporter of woman in the work force..We need to step up and stop acting like its a mans job to support us, and start doing for ourselves too..
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Old 05-20-2011, 11:50 AM
 
11,753 posts, read 10,331,136 times
Reputation: 9568
Quote:
Originally Posted by swisswife View Post
Thats quite a generalization, read my post just before yours and then tell me how lazy I am...

My day today ...

6.30 - alarm goes off.
Its 9am and I have had breakfast with husband loaded both the dishwasher and washing machine, changed the sheets on the bed, made up the spare room for our weekends guests and put together a shopping list for the next 3 days.
I've chatted online with some people doing the same degree as I am about an assignment due in June. I'll skype my mum before I hoover the house and do the ironing.

I'll be going to the supermarket before lunch and have lunch at home.

This afternoon I'll be making thai green curry and a beef red curry for dinner tomorrow. I'm making chilli for dinner tonight.

I need to do some research online for my assignment and also for an upcoming trip to California as we want to pre book some hotel rooms for our drive and I need to arrange the car hire. I need to get some train tickets bought for a trip to Europe in August as they have just become available on the internet.
Husband will come home at around 6pm, we will eat around 7pm and then watch a movie....

are all SAHS still lazy ??
Frankly, this doesn't sound like a very taxing schedule, Swiss.
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Old 05-20-2011, 11:53 AM
 
3,573 posts, read 5,327,090 times
Reputation: 3410
Quote:
Originally Posted by WestCobb View Post
Frankly, this doesn't sound like a very taxing schedule, Swiss.
It's not taxing but it's not lazy either. She is cleaning the house, cooking dinners and organizing their lives. AND that's the arrangement her and her husband are happy with.
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Old 05-20-2011, 11:55 AM
 
538 posts, read 1,223,232 times
Reputation: 718
To each their own.

I know two stay-at-home-spouses, no kids. They both sit around and email me all day and whine about how bored they are and how their husbands have to work seven days a week, 12-hour days to pay for their expensive habits. I find it hilarious.

Then there is my mother in law who was a stay at home spouse once the kids moved out. She was so busy keeping the house together that she was working 7 days a week, 24-hour days for decades.

The second example is how I think of a SAHS even though I personally know more people of the first example. Heh.
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Old 05-20-2011, 11:56 AM
 
2,113 posts, read 2,189,319 times
Reputation: 1756
Quote:
Originally Posted by WestCobb View Post
Frankly, this doesn't sound like a very taxing schedule, Swiss.
She does household chores, homework, grocery shopping, cooking, and trip planning. Sounds like a pretty full schedule.
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Old 05-20-2011, 11:56 AM
 
538 posts, read 1,223,232 times
Reputation: 718
Quote:
Originally Posted by donie1 View Post
It's not taxing but it's not lazy either. She is cleaning the house, cooking dinners and organizing their lives. AND that's the arrangement her and her husband are happy with.
I was going to say the same thing, but not as nicely to the skeptic.
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