Stay-at-home-spouses (Chinese, husbands, couples, different)

[tamajane]

Maintaining a household can certainly be a full time job. To keep a home properly clean it is more than just dusting and vacuuming. If anyone in the house has asthma or severe allergies house cleaning is a big ongoing process. A lot of homes appear to be clean but it is mostly surface. If you like real food cooked from fresh ingredients you go to the store or market more often and cooking takes longer. There are errands, yard work, laundry, home and car maintenance, pet care, etc. If the SAH person takes care of everything, the working person doesn't have to worry about any of that, and it is a full time job. Most working people just don't go to extra lengths to do everything that could be done because they do not have the time and are too tired.

[lastra]

Originally Posted by tamajane

Maintaining a household can certainly be a full time job. To keep a home properly clean it is more than just dusting and vacuuming. If anyone in the house has asthma or severe allergies house cleaning is a big ongoing process. A lot of homes appear to be clean but it is mostly surface. If you like real food cooked from fresh ingredients you go to the store or market more often and cooking takes longer. There are errands, yard work, laundry, home and car maintenance, pet care, etc. If the SAH person takes care of everything, the working person doesn't have to worry about any of that, and it is a full time job. Most working people just don't go to extra lengths to do everything that could be done because they do not have the time and are too tired.

I absolutely agree. My husband and I have bad allergies, and I have to vacuum very often. Also, we do prefer food from fresh ingredients, so it usually takes me longer to cook than other people. Granted, if I was working, I probably wouldn't have the time and energy to cook the way I do now, clean etc., but would probably try to cut corners and use pre-made stuff etc. I completely agree with everything you wrote.

[wisconsin woman]

In one way I wouldnt mind being one, but reality is in these days, you really need 2 incomes to live at all. It has its upsides and downsides. You bringing in no income means you always have to ask for money to go do or buy something, I dont like that idea. In some ways its almost like the other person has the upper hand too.

[tamajane]

Originally Posted by 115db

In one way I wouldnt mind being one, but reality is in these days, you really need 2 incomes to live at all. It has its upsides and downsides. You bringing in no income means you always have to ask for money to go do or buy something, I dont like that idea. In some ways its almost like the other person has the upper hand too.

That is not a partnership though. I don't know any SAH spouses who have to ask for money. My mother certainly would never have gone for that. It all goes into the joint account.

[gwynedd1]

Originally Posted by 115db

In one way I wouldnt mind being one, but reality is in these days, you really need 2 incomes to live at all. It has its upsides and downsides. You bringing in no income means you always have to ask for money to go do or buy something, I dont like that idea. In some ways its almost like the other person has the upper hand too.

Hi 115db,

It depends on whom you marry.

[PokerPlayer84]

Originally Posted by tamajane

Maintaining a household can certainly be a full time job. To keep a home properly clean it is more than just dusting and vacuuming. If anyone in the house has asthma or severe allergies house cleaning is a big ongoing process. A lot of homes appear to be clean but it is mostly surface. If you like real food cooked from fresh ingredients you go to the store or market more often and cooking takes longer. There are errands, yard work, laundry, home and car maintenance, pet care, etc. If the SAH person takes care of everything, the working person doesn't have to worry about any of that, and it is a full time job. Most working people just don't go to extra lengths to do everything that could be done because they do not have the time and are too tired.

So what else do you do you need to do to clean a house. Houses do not get that dirty that fast. All those things you mention errands yard work laundry pet care are easy things to do that you can do within an hour each. Whats so hard about grocety shopping? I have done it before all it is walking around finding stuff. There are some lazy people in this world

[tamajane]

No one said these things were hard, just time consuming. You have no way of assessing how long a task takes for everyone because you don't have enough information. A lot of people where I live commute over 1 hr each way and have big homes and acreage. Stores are 10 miles away. Going anywhere is a big deal, and it's a good idea to have a truck. My next door neighbor is always outside raking, mowing, shoveling, cleaning the pool, etc. She created a garden with paths and fountains and grows herbs for gourmet cooking. So some people like being Martha Stewart and making an awesome home. I wouldn't call that lazy.

[thebobs]

Originally Posted by PokerPlayer84

Plus if you clean everyday it is not going to take that long to clean it the next day. It may take at most 4 or 5 hours which still leaves you a lot of the day left.

Well yes, that is if others in the household actually cooperated with you and didn't undo all you did. "Oh honey you worked so hard today, let me empty the bagless vacuum for you. See? I can do things too. Ooops!!! Oh dear, all that dust and dirt is all over the carpet again. Yuck. I got to go wash my hands, honey, dear, can you just vacuum that up for me?"

[thebobs]

Originally Posted by tamajane

You have no way of assessing how long a task takes for everyone because you don't have enough information.

Yup, I have gotten yelled at for not having the laundry done on time. I use a laundromat only because our apartment doesn't have a washer and dryer. So the amount of laundry and availability of washers and dryers and sorting out which clothes "MUST NOT" be dried will determine how long it takes.

[2mares]

Well yes, that is if others in the household actually cooperated with you and didn't undo all you did.

Can I get an Amen!
Im not a SAHS, but I have 2 grown kids living me due to the economy and grandkids over on the weekend. It is constant picking up, washing dishes, sweeping up dirt tracked in, washing closthes. I can clean a room, go pee and come back and you cant tell I cleaned a thing.