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Riding a motorcycle at high speed and jumping 100s of feet into the air doing flips near death is no different. It's a thrill and people need this. But when pushed to the brink, people will fly off without even knowing. They can't simply shut it off.
Um, you really need to brush up on your psychic hotline skills. One of my best friends raced motocross (and did demolition derbies), and he is one of the most even-keeled, calmest people I know. He certainly doesn't come home from a race or trail ride and start wailing on his wife.
Sorry, I can't really add much about the relationship aspect, but there seems to be a lot of judgmental drivel in this thread.
Well, the focus of the thread has really shifted the more the OP has shared. It started off with a request from people in marriages to weigh in on whether or not the butterflies of infatuation fade over time.
But that's not REMOTELY what the thread (or OP's issues) are really about.
Um, you really need to brush up on your psychic hotline skills. One of my best friends raced motocross (and did demolition derbies), and he is one of the most even-keeled, calmest people I know. He certainly doesn't come home from a race or trail ride and start wailing on his wife.
Sorry, I can't really add much about the relationship aspect, but there seems to be a lot of judgmental drivel in this thread.
The problem with you is you are simply trying to be one up on me. Stop focusing on me but the big picture.
She admits to pushing buttons. He is a nice guy. She admits to being attracted to douchey guys. He is into extreme sports.
She pushes his buttons, he will react in a manner that he has never before. He is close to his aunt, his only family left. He spent years nursing his father.
Again, stop trying to battle me. Bring something to table....
Very wrong. I was involved with emotional unavailable guys who were not giving me attention. One was a porn addict (didnt want sex with me), video game addict.
None of them left me. After trying to change thim in a nice way (which of course didnt work), I pushed their buttons, trying to change them into normal people, which they didnt want to be. So I started nagging and pushing buttons.
Then I left them and complained they are dbags. But of course I should have not ignored the red flags in the first place.
For one thing, it's not for you to try to change someone. That's your first mistake, and it's a doozy--although it's one that many women make, enough that it's a stereotype.
And it's a colossal waste of time. When it comes to matters of integrity and personality, a man is going to do what a man wants to do, and a man isn't going to do what a man doesn't want to do.
Pushing buttons is never about helping someone else. It's about getting attention for you, and that you were doing it to try to change someone speaks to a need to try to control. Not saying these were good guys. Just saying you thinking you can change someone by being a jerk to him has me agreeing with Tabula. It doesn't sound like you're in a good place for a relationship.
I didnt push any buttons on my last serious bf even though he was a dbag. but he was very dominant and would not let me have done it. I only push buttons on pushovers when I lose respect. At this point, the relationship is at its end anyway.
I don't really worry about it. Also, I have matured.
As many of you know, I am drawn to dou che ba gs. I am a nice person, have all my s h i t together in business and work related matters, come from a nice family. But when it comes to guys, I have HORRIBLE taste. They aren't nice or even handsome. Not inside and not outside.
So 1,5 weeks ago I met a guy through POF and I fell madly in love. I have never in my life experienced that and I never got as much back as I put in. We have spent every day together since last Friday and already talk about the future. IT IS JUST WAY TO EARLY. IT CREEPS ME OUT but I can't stop myself.
He brings flowers, opens doors, has a job, cooks for me, financially stable, never married, no kids, 9 years older, same hobbies, same likes and dislikes, very romantic, intense, boyish cute and clumsy, lives nearby, respectful, attentive, treats me like a princess, and I am speechless.
And additional to that, he is a 10 in my book of looks. I have a pic of him and can't stop staring at it. He is so HOT, I cannot keep my eyes off him. The best thing is, he doesn't feel like he is handsome and is not arrogant at all. He already shows me around to his friends.
He meets all my criteria and beyond. I didnt know a woman over 30 can even hope to find a guy who fits EVERYTHING.
I am unfocussed at work, keep forgetting passwords. Don't wear any make up because my face is glowing.
In two days I will fly home to Germany for two weeks to see my family. I hope to clear up my head there a little.
Now I am asking married people who are in a happy relationship with each other:
Is this possible that this feeling stays? I am SO WORRIED it is all too much and can only go south from hereon. It is too good to be true. I am waiting for the moment where it all comes crashing down on me. I have never had such a good guy and accepted his love.
I either put in a lot and get nothing back. Or I get a lot and aren't attracted. THis time, everything FITS.
First: You have to remember that there are some dysfunctional people among the group.
Second: What you're feeling now does go away. However, it can be replaced by emotional intimacy which replaces excitement with feelings of security and acceptance. Emotional intimacy has a complement, physical intimacy, which gives you the freedom to surrender to each other. This reinforces emotional intimacy...and round and round it goes, bringing you closer and closer.
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