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I am not saying men don't have the same perspective. If men want to do the same as me and it works for him... I say power to you and I wish him the best (do what's best for you... that's what I am doing). I am just saying that chasing men has never once worked for me... never lead to a lasting (or even a "real) relationship. I get strung along every single time I chase a guy. So I am not doing it any more. I meet less men for certain, but I have better luck meeting men who are interested in me when they put forth the effort.
How many times have you chased a guy? Once? Three times? I guarantee you it isn't enough times to warrant forming such a rigid opinion on the matter. All you did was chase guys who weren't into you. It wasn't the act of pursuing that kept it from going anywhere.
How many times have you chased a guy? Once? Three times? I guarantee you it isn't enough times to warrant forming such a rigid opinion on the matter. All you did was chase guys who weren't into you. It wasn't the act of pursuing that kept it from going anywhere.
The problem is they don't just let you chase them and it "goes nowhere"... they act interested and make you think you are in a relationship with them... yet they are never into you. I've been strung along for a while (months) this way and it always ends in heartache when you find out the person you really liked, though you loved, never once actually loved you back. He just figured he had nothing better going on and the minute someone else walks up to him... or the minute you ask, "are we a couple?" He heads for the hills. When I chase men, my experience is I end up with the guys who want to just sleep with me, but not have a relationship that goes anywhere.
I think another poster in another thread called women like me (the ones who chase him), "low hanging fruit." and he goes on to say how he's not attracted to them. I don't want to be low hanging fruit, I want to find a man who values me or have no one at all.
I think another poster in another thread called women like me (the ones who chase him), "low hanging fruit." and he goes on to say how he's not attracted to them. I don't want to be low hanging fruit, I want to find a man who values me or have no one at all.
Don't allow yourself to be low hanging fruit, if for you, you feel that when you chase men it puts you in that camp, then don't do it.
It's true what they say that men like to chase. They like the pursuit. Once the woman becomes the pursuer and eventually gets the guy, the guy treats her like she's beneath him, especially since his ego has blown up.
I got tired of these guys who give me indirect signs like they are interested, so I'm the one who ends up making a direct move. Indirect meaning the usual staring and even stalking (yes, this has happened to me 3x now in the last 3 years with different guys). Direct meaning actually going to talk to them and even asking them out.
Honestly, as a woman, I hate pursuing because it feels nice to be pursued by a man; it shows that he really wants you and that he is a MAN. Usually, when he ends up being the pursuer, we both have more respect towards each other.
Just got tired of men only looking at me and other grade-school crush tactics of theirs, but not asking me out or anything.
/end rant
What makes you think we don't like being pursued....too?
Don't allow yourself to be low hanging fruit, if for you, you feel that when you chase men it puts you in that camp, then don't do it.
Respect yourself and value yourself.
That's pretty much what I am saying. This is my experience (others might have a different experience). But when I chase, I think I end up with men who don't really value me. So I changed things up after having my heart broken again. Right now I am dating a man who is basically "chasing" me. I broke the ice (can't help myself there, I talk to people who seem like they might be interesting), but he's been making the dates (and I make the time). I am receptive to him, but I don't pursue and he still seems interested. Maybe it will work, maybe it won't, maybe I will still end up heartbroken, but maybe I won't. But it can't hurt to try something different.
That's pretty much what I am saying. This is my experience (others might have a different experience). But when I chase, I think I end up with men who don't really value me. So I changed things up after having my heart broken again. Right now I am dating a man who is basically "chasing" me. I broke the ice (can't help myself there, I talk to people who seem like they might be interesting), but he's been making the dates (and I make the time). I am receptive to him, but I don't pursue and he still seems interested. Maybe it will work, maybe it won't, maybe I will still end up heartbroken, but maybe I won't. But it can't hurt to try something different.
breaking the ice more often would make it easier for many men, not only to the vast majority of women refuse to ask men out first but also stubbornly refuse to initiate, start a conversation first.
The notion that men are not interested in being pursued by women is just another urban legend, IMO What man in his right mind *wouldn't* be thrilled by a nice, compassionate, and friendly, very sweet woman approaching him?
IME, men who are on the shyer end of the romantic spectrum, *especially* love being pursued by women romantically. I know that I most definitely would have loved to have been approached by women romantically, but, with only a few, very rare and quite random exceptions, it never happened...
Quote:
Originally Posted by summer_land
It's true what they say that men like to chase. They like the pursuit. Once the woman becomes the pursuer and eventually gets the guy, the guy treats her like she's beneath him, especially since his ego has blown up.
I got tired of these guys who give me indirect signs like they are interested, so I'm the one who ends up making a direct move. Indirect meaning the usual staring and even stalking (yes, this has happened to me 3x now in the last 3 years with different guys). Direct meaning actually going to talk to them and even asking them out.
Honestly, as a woman, I hate pursuing because it feels nice to be pursued by a man; it shows that he really wants you and that he is a MAN. Usually, when he ends up being the pursuer, we both have more respect towards each other.
Just got tired of men only looking at me and other grade-school crush tactics of theirs, but not asking me out or anything.
For me, it would have really have to be something more than body language, for me to be able to understand that she is interested in me -- I would need some sort of actual verbal communication, or other verbal exchange.
or unless it can be learned, because it seems knowing how to get a girlfriend is natural instinctive innate common sense for most guys, like they know how to talk to them, most guys have this ability by their late teens and early 20's
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What man in his right mind *wouldn't* be thrilled by a nice, compassionate, and friendly, very sweet woman approaching him? 
