Glad chivalry is dying after reading this! (male, young, calling)

[ChessieMom]

Originally Posted by TheImportersWife

When we met, my husband was thirsty for this tall drink of water. It worked.

(FTR, my husband did and still does all those things on the list. He was one of the few I had ever met that did those "things." I never expected them, but they sure as heck didn't hurt his chances with me. )

Exactly. The men that do do these things...well, we know why they do. And so do they.

The men who don't? Well, they'll never know.

[Magnatomicflux]

I do practically everything on that list at an unconscious level. Guess ma' mammy raised me right.

If you think it's pathetic, that's fine. Sad, but...whatever.



1. He stands when she walks in the room

Rarely done

2. He walks by her on the outside, closest to the street

Always done.


3. He opens the door for her

Always done. I had a girl who thought I was just doing it to woo her. 8 months later I was still doing it, and she commented on how surprised she was.

4. He never criticizes a home-made meal

No. If I don't like it, I don't like it. Sorry. I'm not going to let someone keep making stuff I don't like...just because. lol


5. He doesn’t LOL for the sake of attention

If it's not funny, or it's just stupid, you're either going to be able to tell by the look on my face, or my sarcastic reply.


6. He pulls out her chair

Fairly often.



7. He sits after she sits

meh. Sometimes.

8. He helps her put on/take off her coat

More often than not.



9. He doesn’t walk ahead of her


I don't even know why I would do that.

10. He gives up his seat to her if there is only standing room

Of course I do. Any man who is physically able to stand, is a selfish chump if he doesn't give up his seat to the elderly, or pregnant women.

11. He carries her bags

Yep.


12. He picks up the check

Always. But if she wants to split it, that's cool too.


13. He holds an umbrella over her when it rains

Yep.


14. He gives her his jacket

Yep.


15. He keeps her secrets

Yep.


16. He walks her home or to safety


Of course.

17. He listens to her

Ehhhh......I'm in and out. lol

18. He’s on time

I do my best.


19. He compliments her

Yep.


20. He would never dream of hitting ANY woman


Well.....I'm a flirt by nature if I'm comfortable. But it would be harmless kinda stuff.

[jade408]

Number 8 is awesome and always appreciated.

[The Dissenter]

Originally Posted by ChessieMom

Wow. And I just sent that to my son to remind him to always behave like a gentleman.

You poor thing.

Do you really think I believe your sarcasm?

[The Dissenter]

Originally Posted by lovesMountains

Not buying it.

Don't know what has you so angry lately, but I do hope things improve in 2015!

Not buying it. Don't patronize me.

[Chowhound]

Originally Posted by The Dissenter

Do you really think I believe your sarcasm?

Dissenter, there's a part of me that gets you and a lot the younger man's issue. On a certain level I can get what your talking about, your generation has been blasted with women being equal and all that goes with it... I mean equal access, equal rights, etc etc.. I get it...

There is mixed messages that seem to be inundating the millennial... I get it to a degree.... if we're all equal why all the fuss around this chivalry stuff, why do I have to make efforts to be chivalrous, we're all equal right???????

I get the mixed messages... I can understand to a degree the reluctance, even its' subconscious to a degree... but it's there..... there is a power shift and or a power grab that the ladies have done...right??? I mean women just don't get it right??? LOL LOL

Why should a man have to put more effort into a woman when were all equal... why do I have to put out the effort when she's just as equal as me??????

Why do I have to subjugate myself and make her more special than me????

All of those feelings are somewhat natural... I think that were in a weird place in our society, in development of our feelings and how all this stuff ties together.......

The social mores.. and the genetic conditioning... which is what and where does it all stand...........

WTF is the right route??? some of these are legit questions that young people face.

My school... the old school 40' plus generation has it somewhat figured out... I don't care how and what we do... I know how most women my age think and I can relate.. and they can relate.... we can seem to meet.

The younger generation no so much... just based on some of the message here... and the messages of society... makes things interesting for the future.....

This is in no way..indicative of anything academic... most likely just a mans simple observations while eating a PB and J sandwich.....

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by Magnatomicflux

4. He never criticizes a home-made meal

No. If I don't like it, I don't like it. Sorry. I'm not going to let someone keep making stuff I don't like...just because. lol

I'm confused by this. "Let someone" keeping making food? I'm not sure that is or should be in my control.

This is just common courtesy for men or women, its politeness, you don't get invited to a meal and then criticize the food. Its classless.

This is one of those on the list that isn't chivalry, its standard politeness.

[SD4020]

It is more about manners.

1. He stands when she walks in the room

It's something I didn't think of doing.

2. He walks by her on the outside, closest to the street

Yes.

3. He opens the door for her

Walking into a building. Also a chance to seek a peek at her back ended assets

4. He never criticizes a home-made meal

easy enough to do. Or it helps if she doesn't cook


5. He doesn’t LOL for the sake of attention

if it isn't funny, it isn't funny. I do love to laugh.


6. He pulls out her chair

Yes.

Spoiler

There's a joke about pulling out...

7. He sits after she sits

As a rule.

8. He helps her put on/take off her coat

Yes, as a rule.

9. He doesn’t walk ahead of her

hiking or outdoors is an exception.

10. He gives up his seat to her if there is only standing room

In a heartbeat I will.

11. He carries her bags

Yes, with the exception of her purse. I'll hold it for brief moments


12. He picks up the check

Unless prior arraignments are made.

13. He holds an umbrella over her when it rains

Yes.

14. He gives her his jacket

Of course.
15. He keeps her secrets

Yes. It may very we'll be because I forgot. If I do remember it, I don't repeat it.


16. He walks her home or to safety

Yes. Part of my nature.

17. He listens to her

What? I also pay attention to tone of voice and body language. I try to percieve things like that.

18. He’s on time

Usually. I may hoof it to be on time. Or give a heads up I am on my way.


19. He compliments her

Yes.

20. He would never dream of hitting ANY woman

Does this include spankings during acts of intamiacy? Never hands on physical.

[hawaiiancoconut]

Originally Posted by Magnatomicflux

I do practically everything on that list at an unconscious level. Guess ma' mammy raised me right.

If you think it's pathetic, that's fine. Sad, but...whatever.

Not pathetic

Where I was raised, we didn't have many doors to open, chairs to pull out (most everybody ate on the floor with their hands) and nobody wore jackets, Lol

[ChessieMom]

Originally Posted by timberline742

I never said they don't like doing so, or that they don't have fun doing so. Modern life doesn't really allow for it. It has all but disappeared. At least in places I've lived. Working 60/80 hr weeks in a professional rat race isn't conducive to it. I know very few people, even those that love cooking, that have time to actually cook or eat at home. The closest they come to it is watching iron chef or whatever on an ipad on the commuter rail.

Yikes. That is awful. I am the opposite. MOST of the people I know, do cook and eat at home. Heck my co-workers frequently share recipes and talk about their latest masterpiece,, and bring home-cooked treats in quite often. I have no desire to be in that 60-80 hour rat face, thank you very much.