Glad chivalry is dying after reading this! (men, separate, 2014)
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A friend posted this list on FB about gentleman/chivalry and associated . After reading that list, good God! I've never seen such desperate thirsty crap all to please a woman in my life. Thank God this stuff is dying. Most of the list just screams thirsty and desperate.
Most of those sound good to me except 1, 7, and 21 (nice but not necessary).
Well, whether you like it or not, calling it "being polite" is a bit one-sided. If you enjoy chivalrous behavior, then you enjoy it. But to suggest that it's simply polite/good manners has some negative implications.
That can depend on upbringing. I assure you that it certainly CAN be thirsty/desperate, but sometimes it's simply habit.
Why is it one-sided? Should I be pulling out the guy's chair for him? Sometimes you can do something just for the sake of being nice without expecting anything in return. For example, I would hold the door for anyone who was behind me. That's being polite not to let the door slam in someone's face.
My husband likes the role of being a gentleman by treating me like a lady.
I should also add we're instilling chivalrous behavior in our young sons. That doesn't mean we think they should allow women or men to walk all over them, but neither my husband nor I see anything wrong with gentlemanly actions and behaviors.
A lot of these aren't 'chivalrous,' they're just nice things to do...like listening to a woman, complimenting her and being on time. Those are also all things women should do for their boyfriends/husbands.
Also, not hitting a woman isn't chivalry. It's just the lack of being a violent jerk. No one should be given that much credit for not hitting someone. I mean, it's just common decency.
#5 is silly. Guys are brutish for laughing loudly? I guess it could be obnoxious, but I would never tell a guy I'd rather he didn't laugh because I thought it was "ill-mannered."
I tend to do a lot of this stuff almost unconsciously. It's not about being thirsty or desperate. For example, I was at a party about a month ago, and I was talking to this woman. We were outside, and I could tell she was shivering, so I offered her my coat (thanked me and said I didn't have to a few times). I didn't sleep with her that night or anything, but I didn't offer her my coat just so I can get into her pants easily.
Every man for himself often ends with every man by himself.
You make a really good point. You can't be in a healthy relationship and be entirely self-serving.
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A few of these are outdated, but I don't see anything supplicating about many of them. Don't insult her cooking, be on time, walk her home, keep her secrets, be a good listener ... not seeing anything wrong with those.
I agree, some are old-fashioned but so many are simply good manners and courtesy to others, not defined by gender.
LOL, fools to those who don't do those small things that separate you from the commoners. If you don't know the difference between chivalry and being a doormat, you have far greater things to work on then to mock that list.....
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. After reading that list, good God! I've never seen such desperate thirsty crap all to please a woman in my life. Thank God this stuff is dying. Most of the list just screams thirsty and desperate.
