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Old 12-23-2014, 01:29 PM
 
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I'm sure it's probably more common in big cities than small cities but do you any of you know people who have never married? Do you know them personally or just as acquaintances? Do you they seem genuinely happy? I ask because I know for most people relationships are a big part of their lives and although not a rule most relationships do eventually go to marriage. I think there is a statistic out there that 90% of people eventually get married. So do you think people who fall outside this norm can still be happy? Or will there always be something missing?
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Old 12-23-2014, 01:33 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,381,087 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sjd1 View Post
I'm sure it's probably more common in big cities than small cities but do you any of you know people who have never married? Do you know them personally or just as acquaintances? Do you they seem genuinely happy? I ask because I know for most people relationships are a big part of their lives and although not a rule most relationships do eventually go to marriage. I think there is a statistic out there that 90% of people eventually get married. So do you think people who fall outside this norm can still be happy? Or will there always be something missing?
Honestly, I don't know what "never married" means, exactly. As long as these people aren't dead yet, there's always hope, and you can't say "never". Rather, they're "still looking" for that special someone. I know a guy who just got married for the first time at 62, after meeting and dating a woman for a couple of years following some unsuccessful relationships. For some people, it's hard to find a good match. I think most people do want to be married (or in a committed life partnership), but it takes some longer than others. "Never" is a very long time; I wouldn't call anyone "never married" unless they were maybe in their 70's, and even then, people can surprise you.
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Old 12-23-2014, 01:33 PM
 
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I'm 45 and not married and truly happy. I've been in monogamous long-term live-in relationships, the longest lasting almost 15 years. Now that I am single, I am even happier. I feel no need to get into another relationship. If I stumble over someone who seems right for me, fine. If not, I'm quite happy being single. I never wanted children, even back when I was a child. So no, nothing seems to be missing. I can't be the only one.
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Old 12-23-2014, 01:35 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,838,343 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sjd1 View Post
I'm sure it's probably more common in big cities than small cities but do you any of you know people who have never married? Do you know them personally or just as acquaintances? Do you they seem genuinely happy? I ask because I know for most people relationships are a big part of their lives and although not a rule most relationships do eventually go to marriage. I think there is a statistic out there that 90% of people eventually get married. So do you think people who fall outside this norm can still be happy? Or will there always be something missing?

Many. Yes.

And yes, many do. Some don't. But I don't think their not being married has to do with it.

And from what I see, my non married friends seem happier, have more sex, travel more, and are out and social more. But I'm not sure that is cause and effect, as opposed to showing the differences between the personality types of each.
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Old 12-23-2014, 01:35 PM
 
Location: San Bernandino, CA
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Just out of curiosity, if you were with someone that long, why not get married?

I could not imagine being with someone that long that I would not want to marry.
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Old 12-23-2014, 01:36 PM
 
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i am 56 and never been married, and i am probably the happiest person i know.
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Old 12-23-2014, 01:36 PM
 
14,078 posts, read 16,567,314 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sjd1 View Post
I'm sure it's probably more common in big cities than small cities but do you any of you know people who have never married? Do you know them personally or just as acquaintances? Do you they seem genuinely happy? I ask because I know for most people relationships are a big part of their lives and although not a rule most relationships do eventually go to marriage. I think there is a statistic out there that 90% of people eventually get married. So do you think people who fall outside this norm can still be happy? Or will there always be something missing?
Several people in my family have never been married. I couldn't say whether their happiness or lack thereof is tied to that one aspect of life.
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Old 12-23-2014, 01:38 PM
 
408 posts, read 720,703 times
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Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Honestly, I don't know what "never married" means, exactly. As long as these people aren't dead yet, there's always hope, and you can't say "never". Rather, they're "still looking" for that special someone. I know a guy who just got married for the first time at 62. For some people, it's hard to find a good match. I think most people do want to be married (or in a committed life partnership), but it takes some longer than others. "Never" is a very long time; I wouldn't call anyone "never married" unless they were maybe in their 70's, and even then, people can surprise you.
I think once people reach 50 or maybe even 40 people do start saying that he/she never married. That isn't to say they can't get married but I do think people begin to wonder if it's a lifestyle choice by then.
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Old 12-23-2014, 02:07 PM
 
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I think a person makes their own happiness. Doesn't matter if your married or not. But yes I know some people never married and as happy as any one else.
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Old 12-23-2014, 02:11 PM
 
7,274 posts, read 5,262,162 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sjd1 View Post
I'm sure it's probably more common in big cities than small cities but do you any of you know people who have never married? Do you know them personally or just as acquaintances? Do you they seem genuinely happy? I ask because I know for most people relationships are a big part of their lives and although not a rule most relationships do eventually go to marriage. I think there is a statistic out there that 90% of people eventually get married. So do you think people who fall outside this norm can still be happy? Or will there always be something missing?
Happiness comes to a person in many forms, marriage being only one. In older times, it was "standard practice' to get married versus the more common living together.

I know several people who have had only casual relationships in their lives and are happy. I have one close friend who has had only one short friendship with a woman in his entire life (he's 57). He went through a spell of looking at other with girlfriends and wives and felt down, but since has filled his life with other hobbies etc. that make him happy.

I've played piano, and know a lot of people who look at me and say they missed not ever playing an instrument. It was their choice not to, so in looking at others it was missing. But people don't have to judge themselves against others, looking at what someone does or has and feels a piece of emptiness inside. Happiness should come from the inside out.
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