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I don't know what your point was here. I'm basically looking at 35-40ish. They don't look at me (online). And by the way, I have all my hair, no beer belly, and stay in shape.
You sound great. I'm sure there are 39-41-year-old women who'd be open to men your age. Whether there are many of them in OK, I can't say. But it's not plausible to say that 39- and 40-year-old women are screening out 40-something guys. Did you think all the women that age are suddenly going for younger guys?
Never ceases to amaze me how many men "won't settle" for a woman the same age, or just slightly older than himself. Those men have zero room to complain about how hard dating is. Or, claim they are "open minded" ...
So, I find myself in an interesting point in my life which I did not really expect to be. I was in a relationship for two and a half years that ended earlier this year for a plethora of reasons. When I met my ex I had imagined that this was the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with but it did not work out that way unfortunately despite best efforts to save the relationship... i'm sure those of you who have lost a relationship can understand
So, now I find myself age 40 having to start all over again. I've always wanted to have kids and a family but it just does not seem to be panning out for me as I am not finding the right person. It takes me a long time to find that person that I initially have terrific chemistry and compatibility with but later on I discover some ridiculously unreasonable compromise that I just can´t make which results in the demise of the relationship. Anyone else find themselves in this situation?
Somehow I feel single, never married and 40 has some kind of stigma and people seem to be really wary if you are not in the "divorced, has kids, looking for a 2nd marriage" crowd.
You have nothing to fear. I'm in my fifties and all my single friends are having the time of their lives. You are just 40. Console yourself on the dating sites. From what they tell me, it's not even fair. They have never had this much fun with a fraction of the hassle. Hunting season is open.
Take careful aim and report back. Should be a hoot.
You sound great. I'm sure there are 39-41-year-old women who'd be open to men your age. Whether there are many of them in OK, I can't say. But it's not plausible to say that 39- and 40-year-old women are screening out 40-something guys. Did you think all the women that age are suddenly going for younger guys?
Ruth, I think you think I'm unrealistic, but I still want kids. So 39-40 is kind of pushing it for women. I typically contact 33-40 year olds, but lets be real, 40 year old women in the Midwest are long done with having kids even if they can still have them (my experience). Next option is to look 200 miles away in Dallas, but they have too many choices down there and aren't responsive. So yeah, maybe I'll just have to give up on kids, but even if I do, I'm still not attracted to women my age because they really have let themselves go (here in the Midwest, I mean). Sun damage and dyed blonde hair. Lets not forget the fake boobs to attract men. Its just not what I want. I really am living in the wrong place, but I think it would be challenging anywhere having to rely on online to meet women. But again, I'm horrible at the approach, so not any other options. I'm just stuck and its beyond frustrating. I should have had a family and be spending time with them on Christmas Eve and watching my kids get excited. But no, I'm alone.
Ruth, I think you think I'm unrealistic, but I still want kids. So 39-40 is kind of pushing it for women. I typically contact 33-40 year olds, but lets be real, 40 year old women in the Midwest are long done with having kids even if they can still have them (my experience). Next option is to look 200 miles away in Dallas, but they have too many choices down there and aren't responsive. So yeah, maybe I'll just have to give up on kids, but even if I do, I'm still not attracted to women my age because they really have let themselves go (here in the Midwest, I mean). Sun damage and dyed blonde hair. Lets not forget the fake boobs to attract men. Its just not what I want. I really am living in the wrong place, but I think it would be challenging anywhere having to rely on online to meet women. But again, I'm horrible at the approach, so not any other options. I'm just stuck and its beyond frustrating. I should have had a family and be spending time with them on Christmas Eve and watching my kids get excited. But no, I'm alone.
This just about makes me feel bad knowing we all have our hand of cards that have to get played, and we really don't get much say in the hand we were dealt. The Midwest is a pretty vast space, and not all of us natives are fake n bake blondes.
This just about makes me feel bad knowing we all have our hand of cards that have to get played, and we really don't get much say in the hand we were dealt. The Midwest is a pretty vast space, and not all of us natives are fake n bake blondes.
True, we don't get much say. I had zero say in what happened to my career in the recession or my divorce. So yeah, I get it. I know it was a generalization, which is why I said its just been my experience with a lot of the women I've met. I did just meet a 40 year old woman (not from here) who I am attracted to. But the kids thing isn't an option with her. I hate to, but I'm about to give that up. However, I still will want to date younger. Then I'll really catch hell on cd, lol.
True, we don't get much say. I had zero say in what happened to my career in the recession or my divorce. So yeah, I get it. I know it was a generalization, which is why I said its just been my experience with a lot of the women I've met. I did just meet a 40 year old woman (not from here) who I am attracted to. But the kids thing isn't an option with her. I hate to, but I'm about to give that up. However, I still will want to date younger. Then I'll really catch hell on cd, lol.
While obviously not your first choice, adoption can be truly rewarding. At the end of the day, family is still family even if not biological.
Ruth, I think you think I'm unrealistic, but I still want kids. So 39-40 is kind of pushing it for women. I typically contact 33-40 year olds, but lets be real, 40 year old women in the Midwest are long done with having kids even if they can still have them (my experience). Next option is to look 200 miles away in Dallas, but they have too many choices down there and aren't responsive. So yeah, maybe I'll just have to give up on kids, but even if I do, I'm still not attracted to women my age because they really have let themselves go (here in the Midwest, I mean). Sun damage and dyed blonde hair. Lets not forget the fake boobs to attract men. Its just not what I want. I really am living in the wrong place, but I think it would be challenging anywhere having to rely on online to meet women. But again, I'm horrible at the approach, so not any other options. I'm just stuck and its beyond frustrating. I should have had a family and be spending time with them on Christmas Eve and watching my kids get excited. But no, I'm alone.
OK, I can see that mid-Western women might not be into having kids at 40, 41. I don't know, but women who are in love with their guy have been known to have kids in their 40's, if he wanted a child, and it was a new marriage. But I have no experience with the midWest.
Don't tell yourself you should have a family around you, you should have achieved this or that at your age. You're only depressing yourself. Keep trying new groups to join, think outside the box. How far are you from NM? Take a vacation in northern NM, and circulate; check out Santa Fe and Taos, liberal areas. Go to art show openings (those are both art towns), attend local events, chat with people. Come back once or twice, if you like it. You might meet someone.
Somehow I feel single, never married and 40 has some kind of stigma and people seem to be really wary if you are not in the "divorced, has kids, looking for a 2nd marriage" crowd.
You're ripe for the picking as far as I'm concerned. You'll do well if you check the baggage from your last relationship at the door.
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