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I've been wanting to do an informal survey for quite a long time about what makes someone "good in bed." What qualifies someone to make that distinction?
For me, it really comes down to groove and uninhibitedness. A person who is a good communicator and feels confident in themselves is usually receptive to bedroom critique.
If you can comfortably say "don't do that, that hurts" then I think you're well on your way to being good in bed.
It's hilarious to me that you wanted to talk about metrics, then the first characteristic you used was "groove," which is unidentifiable and variable from person to person.
Wouldn't it vary depending on the partner's preferences? Some guys like to run the show, and others like a woman who's full of spirit and knows what she wants and how to get it. I'm down with the OP, and "uninhibitedness", playful energy, good communication. Oh, and one thing that makes her "good in bed" would be a penchant for surprising me outside of the bedroom, too. I like the anytime-anyplace, ones.
Someone who is good in bed is not only clearly enjoying himself, feeling self confident, exploring all the available territory instead of focusing on a few places, but is also he is enjoying ME. As in, he makes it clear that I am important. He finds ways to compliment me and make me think he is into me, even if we are not in a particularly committed relationship. A little flattery goes a long way.
The best sex I've ever had in my entire life is with the gf I have now. We have the major factors we need to have a hot sex life: maturity (I'm almost 40, and she is over a decade older), mad love for each other, sensitivity to each other's feelings and needs and a willingness to express these, and an intense attraction for one another. All of these combined have given us both the most gratifying sex we've ever had. It's not just about the orgasms; it's the entire sexual experience, IMO.
Enthusiasm and communication. Not necessarily talking but verbal and non-verbal cues that indicate they like something and want more of it.
The bad sex I've had has been with someone that doesn't seem to be enjoying themselves, overly nervous and just not into it and thus no verbalized or non-verbal enthusiasm.
Typically, if the two people are into each other - it will be good unless one of them has some kind of hangup.
Not sure about metrics, but if I'm counting the minutes, thinking about what's on television, wishing I could get back to my book or mentally making my grocery list...we've hit an epic nookie failure. EPIC.
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I like the anytime-anyplace, ones.
