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Tabula that's my precise problem; I can't get a good "feel" because I don't know how/when the typical 40 yr old female would express interest.
First long dates we did an after date hug; perfectly fine/acceptable to me. Friendly, interactive, etc etc. Everything gets a "green light" except the lack of inquiries about me.
She's not rude or standoffish. Not super responsive to emailing/texting and no phone calls, neither of which is a problem for me.
I guess I have to frame of reference for this.
This is not an age-dependent thing. Expressing interest is a universal. If you're not detecting interest, (assuming you're paying attention to social cues effectively), they're not showing it.
I indicate interest in others at 37 the same way I did at 27.
What are you expecting her to be inquiring? You said she's friendly and interactive. Again, maybe she's learning about you by spending time with you, versus by interviewing you. It would be interesting to know what your interactions DO look like, if she is "friendly and interactive." How is she interacting, if not to converse with you?
I'm sorry but based on what you said I'd definitely not be seeing this woman again. She should want to know things about you after going on as many dates as you have. Most women I've gone out with usually ask at least a few things on the FIRST date. Her unloading all her previous history and issues on you is a huge red flag too. Sounds to me like she's more interested in someone to listen to her problems than a companion, and I don't really think she has any feelings for you at all. I say move on. There's plenty of other women out there.
I'm sorry but based on what you said I'd definitely not be seeing this woman again. She should want to know things about you after going on as many dates as you have. Most women I've gone out with usually ask at least a few things on the FIRST date. Her unloading all her previous history and issues on you is a huge red flag too. Sounds to me like she's more interested in someone to listen to her problems than a companion, and I don't really think she has any feelings for you at all. I say move on. There's plenty of other women out there.
The OP never said she does this. He said many of his previous dates have done this.
Good....great, conversations, actually. We talk about everything under the sun except personal substantive stuff about me. The "back and forth" is excellent.
The three full days and one classic dinner/walk in the park afterwards. One set for this coming Sunday.
Well, enough guys post on here about their not liking women asking questions about them, saying it sounds like a job interview (to them), she may be hesitant about asking personal information.
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Tabula that's my precise problem; I can't get a good "feel" because I don't know how/when the typical 40 yr old female would express interest.
First long dates we did an after date hug; perfectly fine/acceptable to me. Friendly, interactive, etc etc. Everything gets a "green light" except the lack of inquiries about me.
She's not rude or standoffish. Not super responsive to emailing/texting and no phone calls, neither of which is a problem for me.
I guess I have to frame of reference for this.
I still don't get what this has to do with being 40 years old.
Maybe she feels like asking direct questions is prying. Maybe she's been sufficiently entertained and stimulated with the general conversation, that curiosity about your personal history and whatever hasn't arisen in her mind. Maybe like Tabula Rasa, she's enjoying getting to know you through your interests and thought processes. Now that we know it's only been 4 dates, she may not be too out of line, except for the fact that the first dates were 6 hrs. long. On the other hand, maybe you're already providing her with plenty of personal info, so she doesn't have to ask. You may not be aware of how much info you're providing in the course of conversations about other things.
It's hard to know exactly what's going on, without observing your dates.
I personally wouldn't spend an entire holiday with a person I had no interest in. But I am not the OP's date.
The only definitive way to know that she's not interested in seeing him is if she declines future dates.
Again, it would be helpful to know specifically what the interaction has been like. I have definitely been the person who avoids drilling another person with lots of questions, because it seems intrusive. It's possible that's been taken as a lack of interest, I don't know.
I've generally taken the fact that a person is choosing to spend time with me as interest.
Well, enough guys post on here about their not liking women asking questions about them, saying it sounds like a job interview (to them), she may be hesitant about asking personal information.
There is a middle ground here. You can show you're actually interested without sounding like you're interviewing for a job.
I actively listen when she talks; I ask questions, we exchange ideas, talk about politics, current events, her job, her family (extensively) and so on. Substantive conversation.
She talked about her past relationships maybe a little early, but again we spent a lot of time together up front. She was not dumping....the conversation flowed naturally.
Lots of laugher, she tells stories from her childhood, responds candidly to jokes, etc.
Everything is great, other than what I am perceiving to be a lack of interest in anything that I'm doing or have done.
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She is definitely interested in you
