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When I like a girl... I tend to not speak my true feelings out of the fear of messing it up and loosing her completely. I also don't want to rock the boat and cause stress for her.
For example: If she does something to **** me off, I swallow my feelings and don't say anything. If she plays cat and mouse with the CHASE game I don't say anything, after I get feelings..
I think this girl is using me and I want to give her an ultimatum because I just can't do this cat and mouse **** anymore unless it is going somewhere.. Being the pushover that I am I have been playing along and just pretending like everything is all good but its draining on me. I also suspect she may have feelings for her ex or something..
Too vague, More info is needed in order to be truly helpful.
Wait.... you feel she is using you... but your hoping she'll give another chance later.....? It's like there are all kinds of topics that don't go together.
Some guys are like that.
The only thing you can do is be upfront, GB. Ultimatums aren't too great; speak your mind and let the cards fall where they may.
Remember that you can stand up for yourself and still maintain your zen.
Girls are mostly likely attracted to those men who can be able to speak their minds in a respectful manner. You need some practices, start with learning to say No to people. Remember that love is not passive or shy. You need to enjoy yourself in a healthy relationship.
There is an unexplainable spark and physical attraction.
In he past I thought being honest about feelings was lame.
Now I see it as fair for me and fair for the girl. I can be honest without being emotional...
You sound very young to me? That spark you are talking about is biology 101. It also sounds to me like you're in the FWB zone. I had one of those before I met my husband. It was just a physical thing with some eye candy for me. (Women have needs too ya know) It was over the second I accepted a date with John. There was something about him and from that day forward I was never with another. You're making this relationship too hard. If it's meant to be it's a natural wonderful process, not something that causes you all this grief and anxiety. Take a few steps back, take a deep breath and reevaluate this relationship. You can have an intense physical attraction to someone without being in love. Make sure it's not just chemistry talking over logic and reason. Common sense should be the captain of your ship, not just the biological fun part. We all went through this learning curve with relationships. I was desperately in love with someone that I thought was the one. Many tears were shed because it was not a good fit for either of us. I finally came to realize that I loved the idea of him more then I loved him. It was then that I saw the relationship for what it was. A waste of time. If you're as young as I think you are take your time. The right one will hit you between the eyes and this one will become a distant memory.
Last edited by animalcrazy; 01-04-2015 at 11:59 AM..
When I like a girl... I tend to not speak my true feelings out of the fear of messing it up and loosing her completely. I also don't want to rock the boat and cause stress for her.
For example: If she does something to **** me off, I swallow my feelings and don't say anything. If she plays cat and mouse with the CHASE game I don't say anything, after I get feelings..
But it hurts not speaking my feelings and it makes me wonder if it is less attractive to always pretend like everything is cool, when it is not... Like it really, really hurts after months of not saying something..
@Ladies do you find it unattractive when a guy tells you he likes you and cannot just be a casual date partner with you?
(assume you two already hooked up a few times)
@guys are you just blatantly honest? I.E. you don't sugar coat things and just speak your mind respectfully?
how do I talk about my feelings with girls without being NEEDY, WUSSY or WEAK sounding? What is the best way to tell her I want more than just being a last priority casual date......
I think this girl is using me and I want to give her an ultimatum because I just can't do this cat and mouse **** anymore unless it is going somewhere.. Being the pushover that I am I have been playing along and just pretending like everything is all good but its draining on me. I also suspect she may have feelings for her ex or something..
#Ouch
She is using you and its obvious. Part of being a man is having good emotional control and intelligence which you lack. Trust me she doesn't see you as a man and she doesn't respect you because you lack the traits I listed above.
Put your foot down and date other women. Your wasting time on a girl who is just using you while you could be spending time with a women who would like you for you. Instead of spending time with the leech; go out, socialize, and meet other women.
If it were me I would cut her off completely because you have already done to much damage. Your image of being a wuss is already solidified in her mind. You couldn't even talk to her friends because she most likely told them of how much of a pushover you are.
The next girl you talk to have some emotional control, make sure she is attracted to you and not attracted to only what you can do for her. Try to display traits that make you appealing. Traits like having a good sense of humor, a good ability to capture her interest in conversation, and being spontaneous vs being a whinny needy guy.
She is using you and its obvious. Part of being a man is having good emotional control and intelligence which you lack. Trust me she doesn't see you as a man and she doesn't respect you because you lack the traits I listed above.
Put your foot down and date other women. Your wasting time on a girl who is just using you while you could be spending time with a women who would like you for you. Instead of spending time with the leech; go out, socialize, and meet other women.
If it were me I would cut her off completely because you have already done to much damage. Your image of being a wuss is already solidified in her mind. You couldn't even talk to her friends because she most likely told them of how much of a pushover you are.
The next girl you talk to have some emotional control, make sure she is attracted to you and not attracted to only what you can do for her. Try to display traits that make you appealing. Traits like having a good sense of humor, a good ability to capture her interest in conversation, and being spontaneous vs being a whinny needy guy.
Truth hurts.
I completely agree with what you said. OP, this^^^^^.
When I like a girl... I tend to not speak my true feelings out of the fear of messing it up and loosing her completely. I also don't want to rock the boat and cause stress for her.
For example: If she does something to **** me off, I swallow my feelings and don't say anything. If she plays cat and mouse with the CHASE game I don't say anything, after I get feelings..
But it hurts not speaking my feelings and it makes me wonder if it is less attractive to always pretend like everything is cool, when it is not... Like it really, really hurts after months of not saying something..
@Ladies do you find it unattractive when a guy tells you he likes you and cannot just be a casual date partner with you?
(assume you two already hooked up a few times)
@guys are you just blatantly honest? I.E. you don't sugar coat things and just speak your mind respectfully?
how do I talk about my feelings with girls without being NEEDY, WUSSY or WEAK sounding? What is the best way to tell her I want more than just being a last priority casual date......
I think this girl is using me and I want to give her an ultimatum because I just can't do this cat and mouse **** anymore unless it is going somewhere.. Being the pushover that I am I have been playing along and just pretending like everything is all good but its draining on me. I also suspect she may have feelings for her ex or something..
#Ouch
I prefer people who are honest, even if the truth hurts. If I sense a guy's hurt and he stuffs his feelings just to appease, I'll more likely not waste both our times. I cut to the chase. More likely, I'll probably tell him something along the lines of I don't think we're compatible.
To me, if someone's worth being a partner to, they sure well damn as hell be honest with me 100% and communicate exactly how they feel. If they can't be honest with themselves enough to be honest with me, I can't stay in a relationship like that. I don't do passive aggressive, and I don't want a relationship where I myself, too, cannot express how I truly feel. Life's too short for that b.s. Be honest and open, and if something I do wrong is bothering the person I'm dating, say so. I will make an honest effort myself to see what I can do to contribute to making our experience positive.
Well I want to communicate my feelings to her, instead of just deleting her out of my phone and then ignoring all of forms of her contacting me ...
Is this something I can do over the phone ? Or should it be in person? I won't make it the end of the world or too serious because its not but it needs to be said.. I would prefer that it would be in person after we hang out ... Then I can talk face to face and speak my mind...
I would like to tell her that yes I want to keep talking to her and I enjoy it. But its getting hard because I caught feelings for her, I like her. I just literally want to ask... Do you think this is going any where or are u trying to just be friends or what?
I just need to hear it from her mouth in order for me to move on. Otherwise its like mindless flirting and mindless talking...
How do you think this girl is using you? I can barely tell if you guys are actually dating...?
You reference "hanging out" and you "catching feelings"....
You want to continue talking to her.... but want her to stop doing what exactly?
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How do you think this girl is using you? I can barely tell if you guys are actually dating...?
You reference "hanging out" and you "catching feelings"....
You want to continue talking to her.... but want her to stop doing what exactly?
Being a doormat or a puppy anxiously awaiting for her to come around and want to date seriously. I cannot keep casually talking and casually hooking up/dating every NOW AND THEN.
I don't want to get too specific but she just got out of a very serious relationship and off the get go told me she is not looking for a relationship.
After that point we continued talking, flirting, and acting like a couple whenever we hang out... We've even hooked up a few times.
Originally I told her I wanted to keep talking and all of this stuff despite her not looking for anything serious because its not every day that I meet someone like her.
We kept talking and doing all of this crazy stuff I mentioned above but it hasn't gone anywhere serious mostly because I am playing it cool...
Well now I am a hot mess...
I think I will reveal the following to her:
1. My intensions
2. What I am willing to do from this point forward with this
3. How she feels about this at this current point in time after we've been talking for a bit
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Some guys are like that. 
.
