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Old 01-10-2015, 05:46 AM
 
8,170 posts, read 6,010,381 times
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I had an interesting conversation with a friend yesterday about dating and men. Specifically that I seem to attract guys that need something from me. Generally that they are broke, in debt and need me to fix their credit and finances.

This conversation began after I received a text from a guy I had just begun conversing with. He asks me where I bank. so I ask him why he asks, is he planning on giving me money? He responds no he can't find a bank that will allow him to open a bank account. So at this point I already know he is not the man for me, but I ask why and come to find out he owes a bank $500 and on chexsystems.

Shortly after I am talking to my friend about my dating and told her I give up because the only guys I attract are guys like the one mentioned above and I no longer want a project. I want a man to be my partner not my third child that I am responsible for. I just bought a second house and do not need or want that kind of stress.

Her response is that because of my take charge, in control, got it together, very helpful personality that this is the type of man that I will attract. Is that really the case? Am I doomed?

Do certain personalities always attract the same type of person?

Last edited by LowonLuck; 01-10-2015 at 06:00 AM..
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Old 01-10-2015, 05:57 AM
 
Location: So Cal
51,955 posts, read 52,378,573 times
Reputation: 52447
Really??

Another thread from you with the same basic theme?? Aren't' you getting bored with this?

Yes, you are a catch... too bad everyone else just doesn't see it.....
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Old 01-10-2015, 05:59 AM
 
8,170 posts, read 6,010,381 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
Really??

Another thread from you with the same basic theme?? Aren't' you getting bored with this?

Yes, you are a catch... too bad everyone else just doesn't see it.....
I posted a very specific question and issue. Basically do certain personality types always attract the same type of men? It is a general subject that you can choose to discuss or not.

I edited the op to ask this specific general question.
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Old 01-10-2015, 06:03 AM
 
Location: Southern California
15,083 posts, read 20,418,666 times
Reputation: 10343
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
...

Am I doomed?

Do certain personalities always attract the same type of person?
Only if you choose a "project man" and disregard better choices.

[exercise your option]
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Old 01-10-2015, 06:09 AM
 
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
10,931 posts, read 11,677,956 times
Reputation: 13170
Think hard. Does this happen often? Do you act/not act on it? What happens, then?

If this is a pattern, you are probably the cause of it and, through your actions, are steering the result in a direction that is in some way beneficial to you, although others (and even you) might not think so.

So the answer to you main question is yes.

Many people sabotage their own chances for happiness through motives and actions they don't fully understand or even acknowledge and subsequently build up defense mechanisms to make sure their "secret" is protected, often by convincing themselves that people, places and things, beyond their control, are responsible.
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Old 01-10-2015, 06:10 AM
 
Location: So Cal
51,955 posts, read 52,378,573 times
Reputation: 52447
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
I posted a very specific question and issue. Basically do certain personality types always attract the same type of men? It is a general subject that you can choose to discuss or not.

I edited the op to ask this specific general question.
I'm mid 40's got my stuff all together..... top 10 percent in finances.... spent some time ago comparing my situation with others... just for laughs.. as I don't really put too much stock in all of the rating systems... that being said, you are a project girl... from my point of view... everything is relative... that is a fact and you being a single mom with 2 kids by two separate men, on a form of welfare and based on these silly posts you seem to make doesn't add much to raise you above that bar.

Everything in life is relative I mean that in the sense that you're looking down your nose at the guys you talk about, but there are plenty of others that would look down on you...

Do you get this very very basic concept... thread after thread from you doesn't suggest otherwise.

Don't throw stones if you live in a glass house.

Does this make any sense to you at all????????????????????????????

Last edited by Chowhound; 01-10-2015 at 06:24 AM..
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Old 01-10-2015, 06:15 AM
 
3,201 posts, read 4,394,628 times
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if you got 2 houses and a goodc redit score why wouldnt these 'project' guys try heir luck?

you may be willing

you notice they told you the truth about he chexsystem thing, so they arent trying to scam yout hey were asking you because you seemed together

who do you bank with, btw?
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Old 01-10-2015, 06:22 AM
 
8,170 posts, read 6,010,381 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MIKEETC View Post
Only if you choose a "project man" and disregard better choices.

[exercise your option]
I have been disregarding the project men. Have not found many better choices.
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Old 01-10-2015, 06:24 AM
 
8,170 posts, read 6,010,381 times
Reputation: 5963
Quote:
Originally Posted by Frihed89 View Post
Think hard. Does this happen often? Do you act/not act on it? What happens, then?

If this is a pattern, you are probably the cause of it and, through your actions, are steering the result in a direction that is in some way beneficial to you, although others (and even you) might not think so.

So the answer to you main question is yes.

Many people sabotage their own chances for happiness through motives and actions they don't fully understand or even acknowledge and subsequently build up defense mechanisms to make sure their "secret" is protected, often by convincing themselves that people, places and things, beyond their control, are responsible.
Yes it happens all the time. I walk into the work kitchen, and the guys I work with will ask me what they should do about x,y or z.

How do I stop attracting needy people in my life?
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Old 01-10-2015, 06:29 AM
 
72 posts, read 65,722 times
Reputation: 158
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
I have been disregarding the project men. Have not found many better choices.
It's because the men you feel entitled to, tall, attractive men with their stuff all together and no kids, can get better quality women than you ,OP.

That's what you've been told over and over and over and over and it just never sinks in.

You cannot get the kind of man you think you deserve.

/thread
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