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I don't think I'm super hot, but I am very feminine. I think that was the reason I always had a difficult time getting a woman to notice that I was interested in her, because even LGBT folks go by stereotypes and think that feminine women must be straight. I found that I had to be more outgoing than I was necessarily comfortable with, and I always had to be the one to ask someone out and not wait until I was 100% certain the interest was mutual. Maybe you should put yourself out there more, OP. It can be frustrating because sometimes you read people wrong, but if you find the right person it could be very rewarding.
Hilariously (to me), when I clicked on this thread I couldn't READ the original post, because he's on my 'banned' list (I could read his post only when someone quoted it). I can't remember him or why I banned him, but from that, I can only deduce: this problem is more than him just being good-looking.
yep, sounds familiar. I've made that experience more than once. I am more attracted to average guys than good looking ones. Hotties are usually douches or just really dumb.
Oh yes, more attractive than "good-looking" is "good-looking but doesn't know it". Rare birds.
I know! One of my exes was just too young, so he hadn't realized it yet or something. My ex-H just didn't care and never even thought about it. Another ex was older but somehow he just didn't know - it was AMAZING! <3
Dateless due to being good-looking? I think it has more to do with looking/being approachable. I've told Mr. Meta that he can seem imposing. He's tall, very handsome and athletically built and looks...a wee bit intimidating in-person. I told him I'd have been nervous to approach him in-person and would have just smiled without initiating contact, which wasn't my M.O. anyway.
Funnily, he said the same thing. He would have been too shy and intimidated to approach me in-person. Women have approached him in the past, so it's not like he couldn't get dates. He was just very selective. A few years ago a lady approached him at the mall to ask if he was the Armani model in the window display. Bahahaha. No.
I've called him Armani model since then.
He hadn't been active in the dating scene in a while when I initiated contact. He took breaks here and there. But like I said, he was pretty selective when it came to that. He was content being single until he met the right person.
This. I wouldn't assume anything about a good-looking guy. I'd wait for him to display his character. OP, personality is key. If you're a great guy and fun or engaging to be with, you'll de-intimidate people very effectively.
I'm not sure why women would be intimidated by good looks, anyway. People are weird. You looked "too put together"? Do you dress meticulously, or something? Expensively? I don't know what "too put together" means, exactly. Are you like our perennially dateless bounce-back kid, who wears tailored, designer clothes for everyday occasions, then wonders why he's only approached by gay guys? lol. I"m trying to get my mind around "too put together". Help me understand.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 10-29-2018 at 11:47 AM..
Dateless due to being good-looking? I think it has more to do with looking/being approachable. I've told Mr. Meta that he can seem imposing. He's tall, very handsome and athletically built and looks...a wee bit intimidating in-person. I told him I'd have been nervous to approach him in-person and would have just smiled without initiating contact, which wasn't my M.O. anyway.
Funnily, he said the same thing. He would have been too shy and intimidated to approach me in-person. Women have approached him in the past, so it's not like he couldn't get dates. He was just very selective. A few years ago a lady approached him at the mall to ask if he was the Armani model in the window display. Bahahaha. No.
I've called him Armani model since then.
He hadn't been active in the dating scene in a while when I initiated contact. He took breaks here and there. But like I said, he was pretty selective when it came to that. He was content being single until he met the right person.
That's hilarious! What a great line! Wow. OK, this may explain the OP's "too put together" comment.
Dateless due to being good-looking? I think it has more to do with looking/being approachable. I've told Mr. Meta that he can seem imposing. He's tall, very handsome and athletically built and looks...a wee bit intimidating in-person. I told him I'd have been nervous to approach him in-person and would have just smiled without initiating contact, which wasn't my M.O. anyway.
Funnily, he said the same thing. He would have been too shy and intimidated to approach me in-person. Women have approached him in the past, so it's not like he couldn't get dates. He was just very selective. A few years ago a lady approached him at the mall to ask if he was the Armani model in the window display. Bahahaha. No.
I've called him Armani model since then.
He hadn't been active in the dating scene in a while when I initiated contact. He took breaks here and there. But like I said, he was pretty selective when it came to that. He was content being single until he met the right person.
He's probably oblivious, which is lovely.
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OK, this may explain the OP's "too put together" comment.
