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I wouldn't recommend it to save money. I would recommend it if you honestly want to live with the person.
^^^^^^^^This. Being cheaper or more convenient is the wrong motivation in a romantic relationship. You have to truly want to intertwine and share your life with that person, with all the good and bad that it brings, not because you're saving $300 a month on rent.
Basically, forget the statistics, other people's experience or social convention. Really REALLY know the person you are moving in with is the best way not to get unpleasantly surprised later.
^^^^^^^^This. Being cheaper or more convenient is the wrong motivation in a romantic relationship. You have to truly want to intertwine and share your life with that person, with all the good and bad that it brings, not because you're saving $300 a month on rent.
Not to mention it's only cheaper *if* you stay together. If you break up and have to move, lose half the jointly bought stuff and have to rebuy, have to find another place, have to rent a truck or hire movers, etc, etc, there goes your savings.
If you want to save money, get a roomate, not a lover. Or move into some place you can afford.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean
Not to mention it's only cheaper *if* you stay together. If you break up and have to move, lose half the jointly bought stuff and have to rebuy, have to find another place, have to rent a truck or hire movers, etc, etc, there goes your savings.
If you want to save money, get a roomate, not a lover. Or move into some place you can afford.
If it was jointly bought you only spent half, so if you lose half, you're still whole.
Sure, movers cost (if you use them, I never have), but people have to move anyway, so that's not really an issue.
But I agree, don't do it for savings, that doesn't make sense to me.
Basically, forget the statistics, other people's experience or social convention. Really REALLY know the person you are moving in with is the best way not to get unpleasantly surprised later.
Exactly... Even if you are sharing places, IE: staying at your place some, and her place some, you don't get the true idea of what the person is like until you share a home.
If you are looking to save money, wtf? Dont do it for those reasons, lol...
One one hand, it helps save money and I see the logic in the "test drive before you buy" argument. On the other hand, I've heard that premarital cohabitation increases the odds of divorce. What are your thoughts?
you only live once, and your going to make mistakes, just live life, and don't sweat the future, be who you are, right off, and find out where he is coming from?
main issue here is, What are your thoughts....
a lot of people today, think, Oh we'll live together and if it doesn't work out, well then, one of us will leave..
that is no way to enter into a relationship.
Relationships are extremely hard....and the sex part is easy....what is very hard is not allowing someone to change you and not expecting someone else to be who they are not...in other words, you don't want to wake up someday at the end of someone else's idea of what a relationship should be. And that is it in a nutshell....
what do you expect a relationship/marriage to be? B/c whatever you expect, isn't how he is going to act....and visa versa and that is what you have to find out....if your doing this so it will be easier, to leave, then don't go it....go into this for the duration...living with someone is not easy....believe me. It takes a lot of patience, communication, trust, and allowance....you have to allow him space and visa versa....
How would you feel if he decides he'd like to go away for the weekend with his buddies? How would he feel if you'd go away for the weekend with your girlfriends?
How would you feel if either one of you would meet a friend or friends after work of the same sex for dinner and a movie?
It isn't your job to do the laundry and to pick up after him, it isn't his job to fill your car with gas and mow the lawn, you are in this together and before you move in together you have to work out the chores...
Are you both happy now? B/c it isn't his job or your job to make the other one happy....you need to be comfortable in your own skin with who you are...
You cannot and never will change someone, so, if there are problems now, there will be worse problems later.
Do you expect him to go to church...?
Does he have other activities that he is involved in? Do you expect him to quit any of them for you?
do you expect fidelity from one another...these are rules that you are going to have to talk over now.
you need to talk about this stuff before you move in together.
Make a list of things you expect from one another as a team mate, and then decide if you should move in together.
a lot of people today, think, Oh we'll live together and if it doesn't work out, well then, one of us will leave..
that is no way to enter into a relationship.
No one enters into a relationship thinking that. They get to that point after months or years of dating and being in a long term monogamous relationship
No one enters into a relationship thinking that. They get to that point after months or years of dating and being in a long term monogamous relationship
oh I beg to differ, younger folks, not all but some, think that way....
There's good and bad to this. Good is you can learn about each other's living habits to either determine if you fit together, or establish a style where both are comfortable with. Bad is when the cohabitation gets too comfortable or old, there is little motivation left for a marriage to ever happen.
There's good and bad to this. Good is you can learn about each other's living habits to either determine if you fit together, or establish a style where both are comfortable with. Bad is when the cohabitation gets too comfortable or old, there is little motivation left for a marriage to ever happen.
I agree good post.
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