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You're 110 lbs and he's calling you fat? Seriously, tell him you're disgusted with his huge beer gut. When he has a six pack and looks like a Greek god then he can talk. I'm petite and small-boned myself so I know what it's like when every pound shows on you but seriously, 90 lbs is not a typical weight for a grown woman. It's the weight of a 10 year old girl. If that's your natural weight that's fine, but starving yourself to get down to the body of a pre-pubescent child is NOT healthy or normal, especially if you're just doing it for a (overweight) guy. It's stupid.
He clearly has issues if he's that obsessed with you 'getting fat' at 110 lbs. He wants a woman with the body of a small child or one that's extremely tiny for some reason. Not healthy.
I'm sorry that was a typo. I mean to say I'm now 115 lbs but still wear a size 0 in certain brands albeit they are very snug now.
I agree 90 lbs is too low for someone my age. But I did weigh between 90-95 from my mid 20's until recently and I was content at that weight only because I was even smaller before that. I was 70-85 from the age of 16 to 21. That was around the time I attempted to put on weight.
I do not feel comfortable posting a picture but I wanted to give you an idea of my body type at 90 lbs. Although it may be considered underweight I was not unhealthy looking.
Here is a woman that runs a fashion blog I have been following because she is the exact same size as myself. It's difficult to find clothes to fit so her blog was very helpful. She is the same weight at 90lbs, same size clothes 0-00 and same shoe size 5-5.5.
Mod cut: Link deleted.
I am not trying to be 90lbs again. I think 100 is more appropriate for my age and body frame. At 115 with uneven weight distribution my clothes do not fit right. They are too snug in some areas and loose in others. My arms and legs remain thin yet I have a stomach and muffins hanging over my jeans.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 01-16-2015 at 10:41 AM..
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Fasting causes your body to hold onto weight. It thinks it's in starvation conditions, so it's survival instincts are triggered, and it holds onto whatever calories you give it after the fast, and conserves weight during the fast.
My parents and grandparents fast for religious reasons without any side effects at least none that I know of. I have never done it myself due to being too thin. I don't plan to do it again as it did not produce results and I felt irritable from being so hungry.
I am taking some personal time off to sort some things out so I plan to consult with a trainer in the next day or so. I'm hoping he/she can help me put together a work-out routine that will target the problem areas.
If you walk religiously every night, believe me, the weight will come off, and I'm talking really walk.....
however, the problems your having run much deeper then the weight, both of you need to have counseling....
and taking weight off, there is no quick fix, so don't go getting any operations....
if you were on anti depressents, there is definately something going on...and getting on meds won't solve the problem....you have to correct the problem, and it takes time, sometimes a long time, but the fruits of hard work can be very rewarding....
Have you tried essential oils? Or acupuncture? For the sleeping, I mean.
If you just recently got off the meds - it's going to take a bit of time for them to be completely out of your system. Also, your stomach is now used to eating more food - so you are probably going to feel hungry for awhile when you try to go back down to your pre-med meal sizes.
It also generally takes more time to lose weight than it does to gain it - especially when it's caused by something like medication.
I really feel for you. I've had eating issues my whole life and my husband always thinks I look hot. I had 2 children in the last 4 years and he's always made me feel beautiful.
As childish as this sounds I am very afraid of needles so I don't think I could do acupuncture. I've never tried essential oils. I'll have to look into that.
What you say makes sense. I guess being stressed and exhausted from work and then having the one person who has always been so affectionate and supportive say such hurtful things to me took a toll on my emotions. I felt emotionally drained and that I needed d a quick fix.
You are a very fortunate to have such a loving husband and family. Mine used to make me feel that way too. He never failed to compliment me and show me affection throughout our marriage. I never thought in a million years he'd say things to hurt me. We have the occasional disagreements but they were always resolved quickly and peacefully.
Sometimes I think perhaps he is dealing with something that he hasn't shared with me. As an example several years ago he was going thru a legal battle with his ex-wife that really stressed him out but he never told me because he didn't want to burden me with his problems. I only found out when I saw the letters from her attorney. But he has never taken his frustrations out on me. I really don't know what to make of his recent behavior.
That's what happened to me, I started gaining weight for the first time ever after getting on anti-depressants. I'm single and it's not really the thought of getting fat that bothers me, it's having to go buy a whole new wardrobe I can't afford that bothers me. My mother is always bringing my weight up. But I would never put up with a guy hassling me about my weight no matter how close I thought we were. Beware of guys who can't shut up about how much they like your body.
Happened to me in my late 20s. I was just under 100 lbs, and I went right up to 125 in no time. I even gained more after that.
Mind you, I'm just a hair under 5'4" and 125 is NOT fat on me by any stretch. I can get up to around 150 (I'm an hourglass figure) and not look remotely fat.
That said, at 125, my first husband (who had never seen me over about 115) started to tell me I looked fat.
Nobody else I knew, male or female, shared his perspective. He wasn't big like your husband, but he wasn't tiny, either.
I think he was just a jerk. And that's one of the reasons why he's my ex.
Btw? I lost the weight that I ultimately gained from antidepressants (which I wasn't put on because I was depressed, for I've never been diagnosed as depressed), after I quit taking them. And no, it is not easy. I would never take those things now unless I was near suicidal or not even remotely functional. Not SSRIs, SNRIs, etc anyway. I think older antidepressants are probably less inclined to cause people to put on weight. I was once prescribed Elavil (a tricyclic antidepressant) in high school due to insomnia because of my migraines and I swear, I didn't gain an ounce.
I do not weigh what I did as a teen/early 20-something, but I'm in my 40s now, and I don't care. I am at a fairly decent weight and I'm not obese, so I'm good.
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lol false. You don't gain weight from meds, if you eat clean, healthy and the right amounts and do enough exercise.
Now if someone is simply too unwell to do those things then I have sympathy. Otherwise I don't.
I'm not sure where you got your medical degree, but yes certain meds cause you to gain. My doc is a tiny asian woman, who hates steroids because she literally gains a pound a day.
I take meds that are causing weight gain..... I've always eaten very healthy and been tiny. I have to eat less and less in order to keep the weight down, and exercise more and more which is difficult with my medical conditions. A part of that is standard weight as you get older, between the two it's a royal pain trying to keep the weight off.
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What you're describing happens to most everyone. I was super skinny for most of my life. I didn't come close to 100 pounds until well past high school and I always ate whatever I wanted and stayed the same weight. Then around 27, 28 that started to change. I'm 5'1 and I got up to around 126, 127...still not overweight, but I didn't feel good about myself and I started going to the gym and lost the weight. I can't imagine how bad I would have felt if I had a SO calling me fat and making me feel worse about gaining weight. I mean it would be one thing to see your partner eating cheeseburgers and gaining 50 pounds and saying gently hey, maybe we should go to the gym, but just flat out saying you're gross and fat over what's really just a few pounds isn't okay at all and it's down right verbally abusive.
Get your body looking the way YOU consider most attractive for you....and then divorce his shallow (and fat) ass. I don't want to alarm you, but the fact that he's suddenly going out every night is not a good sign.
You can do way better.
I know you mean well but reading your post is heartbreaking. I am sitting here crying because this is exactly what I have been most afraid of. If he has an affair I will be devastated. It is the one thing I cannot forgive and I have no idea what I will do from there.
He has been the center of my world, the only man I have ever been with and the one I had planned to spend the rest of my life with. I went against my parents wishes when I married outside my race. They did not approve and have always believed interracial relationships never work out. It took them a long time to finally accept him. I will be so ashamed if I have to tell them things didn't work out just as they had predicted.
Him complaining about your weight is just one symptom of bigger problems with your relationship. There have probably been problems for awhile, but this symptom is so obvious that you are no longer able to ignore the issue.
Anytime a spouse starts spending several nights a week out drinking without their spouse, that indicates very serious problems with a marriage (as in headed for divorce level of problems). You should certainly work on losing the weight if it makes you unhappy, but that's not the real problem. I would suggest couples therapy or if he won't go, therapy for you. A professional can help you figure out what the real issues are so you/he can work on fixing them and help you figure out if you should end the relationship.
In a normal healthy relationship, one spouse will not constantly nag the other for gaining 20 pounds from a new medication.
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