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Old 01-19-2015, 12:43 PM
 
Location: North Dakota
7,063 posts, read 8,223,271 times
Reputation: 9348

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Quote:
Originally Posted by jzcrandall View Post
I've been dating someone for about a month now, and she is constantly cancelling on me, and when we do get together, she is almost always late. Right after Christmas I didn't see her because she was sick. We had planned to spend New Year's Eve together, but she cancelled on me saying that "she didn't know when she was going to done with her family" then claimed that her mom invited her best friend over for the festivities. She wanted to make it up to me by spending the day with me for New Years; she said she was planning on coming over at 1, but she didn't show until 7. We had a talk, and I told her that I was starting to have second thoughts about wanting to be with her because I can already see myself becoming a low priority for her (been there, done that, still have the T-shirt). We got together a couple more times, but then the serial cancellations began again. We were supposed to get together last Saturday saying that she was "hungover" (seriously - who is still hungover at 5pm?), and said we could get together the next day, and sure enough the next day she cancelled on me yet again because she hungover yet again. Yesterday we were supposed to get together, but she cancelled on me saying she was at the hospital with her dad after he fell down and that we could get together today. Today - in predictable fashion, she cancelled on me saying that her mom was taking her to dinner to thank her for helping her yesterday.

She keeps saying she really likes me, but her actions seem to say otherwise. Look - I get that people get busy, but this is excessive; if I really like someone, I will make myself available by whatever means necessary. For all I know she's being honest, but it still seems like a lot. I will let you all weigh in.
Dump her.
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Old 01-19-2015, 07:20 PM
 
Location: SF Bay Area
13,349 posts, read 16,544,682 times
Reputation: 19640
Quote:
Originally Posted by vigueur2014 View Post
I think your girl has a meth/coke problem that she is hiding....

and the Jump-To-Conclusion Award goes to ...
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Old 01-19-2015, 07:24 PM
 
Location: Imperial Beach
356 posts, read 259,848 times
Reputation: 258
Dump her and you dump her quick!
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Old 01-19-2015, 07:29 PM
 
1,385 posts, read 1,782,630 times
Reputation: 1811
Quote:
Originally Posted by jzcrandall View Post
I've been dating someone for about a month now, and she is constantly cancelling on me, and when we do get together, she is almost always late. Right after Christmas I didn't see her because she was sick. We had planned to spend New Year's Eve together, but she cancelled on me saying that "she didn't know when she was going to done with her family" then claimed that her mom invited her best friend over for the festivities. She wanted to make it up to me by spending the day with me for New Years; she said she was planning on coming over at 1, but she didn't show until 7. We had a talk, and I told her that I was starting to have second thoughts about wanting to be with her because I can already see myself becoming a low priority for her (been there, done that, still have the T-shirt). We got together a couple more times, but then the serial cancellations began again. We were supposed to get together last Saturday saying that she was "hungover" (seriously - who is still hungover at 5pm?), and said we could get together the next day, and sure enough the next day she cancelled on me yet again because she hungover yet again. Yesterday we were supposed to get together, but she cancelled on me saying she was at the hospital with her dad after he fell down and that we could get together today. Today - in predictable fashion, she cancelled on me saying that her mom was taking her to dinner to thank her for helping her yesterday.

She keeps saying she really likes me, but her actions seem to say otherwise. Look - I get that people get busy, but this is excessive; if I really like someone, I will make myself available by whatever means necessary. For all I know she's being honest, but it still seems like a lot. I will let you all weigh in.
It sounds to me based on the consistency in behavioral patterns and her own words that she is an alcoholic. She is probably passed out between her hangovers and that is why she goes missing.
Do yourself a favor and never talk to her again.
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Old 01-19-2015, 07:32 PM
 
Location: PANAMA
1,424 posts, read 1,009,412 times
Reputation: 1146
Quote:
Originally Posted by breakingbad View Post
It sounds to me based on the consistency in behavioral patterns and her own words that she is an alcoholic. She is probably passed out between her hangovers and that is why she goes missing.
Do yourself a favor and never talk to her again.
Don't discard a mental problem or alcoholism...when a girl doesn't understand her own behavior...watch out!!!
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Old 01-20-2015, 12:14 AM
 
Location: Outside of Chicago
4,598 posts, read 3,756,032 times
Reputation: 6549
Quote:
Originally Posted by jzcrandall View Post
I've been dating someone for about a month now, and she is constantly cancelling on me, and when we do get together, she is almost always late. Right after Christmas I didn't see her because she was sick. We had planned to spend New Year's Eve together, but she cancelled on me saying that "she didn't know when she was going to done with her family" then claimed that her mom invited her best friend over for the festivities. She wanted to make it up to me by spending the day with me for New Years; she said she was planning on coming over at 1, but she didn't show until 7. We had a talk, and I told her that I was starting to have second thoughts about wanting to be with her because I can already see myself becoming a low priority for her (been there, done that, still have the T-shirt). We got together a couple more times, but then the serial cancellations began again. We were supposed to get together last Saturday saying that she was "hungover" (seriously - who is still hungover at 5pm?), and said we could get together the next day, and sure enough the next day she cancelled on me yet again because she hungover yet again. Yesterday we were supposed to get together, but she cancelled on me saying she was at the hospital with her dad after he fell down and that we could get together today. Today - in predictable fashion, she cancelled on me saying that her mom was taking her to dinner to thank her for helping her yesterday.

She keeps saying she really likes me, but her actions seem to say otherwise. Look - I get that people get busy, but this is excessive; if I really like someone, I will make myself available by whatever means necessary. For all I know she's being honest, but it still seems like a lot. I will let you all weigh in.
Really dude? It is pretty obvious how she feels. You have to be denser than a brick and or extremely needy and desperate. Just label her as a crazy **** buddy and move on.
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Old 01-20-2015, 01:02 AM
 
Location: OC, CA
9,862 posts, read 13,217,359 times
Reputation: 8730
Quote:
Originally Posted by usamathman View Post
I would keep her around as a 2nd or 3rd option and continue the process of looking for another woman.

There are way too many ladies out there to waste your time with one that is most likely playing games and/or dealing with other guys.

Don't waste anymore of your VALUABLE time with this one woman.
That's good, play it from the woman's angle. Just keep a few in stable, when you find a shinier coat/bigger wallet/better looking adios.
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Old 01-20-2015, 01:06 AM
 
35,121 posts, read 37,884,390 times
Reputation: 61848
Quote:
Originally Posted by jzcrandall View Post
I've been dating someone for about a month now, and she is constantly cancelling on me, and when we do get together, she is almost always late. Right after Christmas I didn't see her because she was sick. We had planned to spend New Year's Eve together, but she cancelled on me saying that "she didn't know when she was going to done with her family" then claimed that her mom invited her best friend over for the festivities. She wanted to make it up to me by spending the day with me for New Years; she said she was planning on coming over at 1, but she didn't show until 7. We had a talk, and I told her that I was starting to have second thoughts about wanting to be with her because I can already see myself becoming a low priority for her (been there, done that, still have the T-shirt). We got together a couple more times, but then the serial cancellations began again. We were supposed to get together last Saturday saying that she was "hungover" (seriously - who is still hungover at 5pm?), and said we could get together the next day, and sure enough the next day she cancelled on me yet again because she hungover yet again. Yesterday we were supposed to get together, but she cancelled on me saying she was at the hospital with her dad after he fell down and that we could get together today. Today - in predictable fashion, she cancelled on me saying that her mom was taking her to dinner to thank her for helping her yesterday.

She keeps saying she really likes me, but her actions seem to say otherwise. Look - I get that people get busy, but this is excessive; if I really like someone, I will make myself available by whatever means necessary. For all I know she's being honest, but it still seems like a lot. I will let you all weigh in.
Weigh in about what? If you want to continue to tolerate this behavior then do so and if you don't want to continue to tolerate this behavior then break it off with her completely, block all access to you and find someone else.
You could always turn the tables a wee bit before you break it off though and cancel on her before she has the chance to cancel on you.
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Old 01-20-2015, 11:48 AM
 
Location: Nashville, TN
5,316 posts, read 2,893,900 times
Reputation: 6786
Quote:
Originally Posted by david0966 View Post
This is way too easy, time to end it. Being late or cancelling once or twice is one thing, but it seems like it's a regular occurrence with her. So you were supposed to meet at 1 and she didn't show until 7? Sorry, that would have been the end for me. I don't deal with rude people. If she really was interested in you, this would not happen.
This.

Yes, if she were really interested in you, this wouldn't be happening. But the far more important issue is that her behavior is unbelievably rude, as david points out. Remember: dating someone allows YOU to decide if SHE is suitable for YOU as much as it's about her deciding if you are for her. It's not a one-way street.

So, even if she wanted to continue with you as is, WHY would you WANT to continue to date someone so inconsiderate, rude, and insensitive? You've been more patient and accommodating than she deserves.
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Old 01-22-2015, 03:16 AM
 
3,352 posts, read 2,146,366 times
Reputation: 2232
Quote:
Originally Posted by jzcrandall View Post
I've been dating someone for about a month now, and she is constantly cancelling on me, and when we do get together, she is almost always late. Right after Christmas I didn't see her because she was sick. We had planned to spend New Year's Eve together, but she cancelled on me saying that "she didn't know when she was going to done with her family" then claimed that her mom invited her best friend over for the festivities. She wanted to make it up to me by spending the day with me for New Years; she said she was planning on coming over at 1, but she didn't show until 7. We had a talk, and I told her that I was starting to have second thoughts about wanting to be with her because I can already see myself becoming a low priority for her (been there, done that, still have the T-shirt). We got together a couple more times, but then the serial cancellations began again. We were supposed to get together last Saturday saying that she was "hungover" (seriously - who is still hungover at 5pm?), and said we could get together the next day, and sure enough the next day she cancelled on me yet again because she hungover yet again. Yesterday we were supposed to get together, but she cancelled on me saying she was at the hospital with her dad after he fell down and that we could get together today. Today - in predictable fashion, she cancelled on me saying that her mom was taking her to dinner to thank her for helping her yesterday.

She keeps saying she really likes me, but her actions seem to say otherwise. Look - I get that people get busy, but this is excessive; if I really like someone, I will make myself available by whatever means necessary. For all I know she's being honest, but it still seems like a lot. I will let you all weigh in.
What is so great about her?
She is hiding something.
Move on!
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