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So recently met a very nice lady from an on-line dating site. Excellent manners and very kind. We have a lot in common and enjoy many of the same things like dogs and spending time outdoors. Most importantly, we share many of the same values and are close in age (mid-40's). That's important to me.
But...
The problem is that I am not sure I am sexually attracted to her. I know this is common and there's a lot of different opinions. Some say to stick with it and see where it goes while others say move on now.
We've been communicating for about a month, met up twice for daily activities and after every date, I just scratch my head on what to do and how I feel. I don't want to waste her time (or mine) but also don't want to just "call it" w/o thinking it through.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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I don't understand the question. If you don't know if it isn't there, it isn't there. These things are obvious. This isn't about thinking, it is about feeling. If you're not feeling it, you're not. The end.
Have you ALWAYS felt an initial spark with women in the past?
Yes, I have always felt an initial spark. However, I'm not sure it should be the overriding factor. Another words, maybe the attraction part will come and the other things (like sharing the same values, likes, etc.) is what makes a long term relationship work. Case in point, I'm single now At the same time, I know physical attraction is important and is key.
For others, no, we have not been dating for a month. Due to schedules, we only recently began to have in-person contact. Twice now. Before two weeks ago, we just communicated via email/phone.
In order to figure this out, you need to spend more time together in person.
I agree with this ^
It comes down to what you want / need in a relationship. Same for her.
Personally , I need a certain amount of looks to be physically attracted, but if they are shallow, crazy, unstable , like the old saying looks are only skin deep.
Is she unattractive in some way ? Are you embarrassed to be seen with her ? Does she have some habit /quirk that turns you off ? Are you in the same "league " looks wise ?
It comes down to what you want / need in a relationship. Same for her.
Personally , I need a certain amount of looks to be physically attracted, but if they are shallow, crazy, unstable , like the old saying looks are only skin deep.
Is she unattractive in some way ? Are you embarrassed to be seen with her ? Does she have some habit /quirk that turns you off ? Are you in the same "league " looks wise ?
She's a little heavy on the bottom. Her pictures, while somewhat recent, showed a different body type. I'm guessing she's gone through a recent body change. She has a stockier build that didn't come through in her pics.
No, I'm not embarrassed to be seen with her.
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At the same time, I know physical attraction is important and is key.
