U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-19-2015, 04:00 PM
 
Location: NYC
176 posts, read 690,217 times
Reputation: 121

Advertisements

I started dating this guy about couple months ago who I met thru mutual friends who all went to high school together 10 years ago. He's 30 I'm 29. Things were good, he called me everyday even showing slight signs of possessiveness and clinginess but it was ok. I didn't mind it. He was going thru a lot of issues with his family life and also just ending a relationship with an ex of two years because she cheated. He often talked to me about those problems which was how we got close.

Last week he brought up that his ex recently started contacting him again because she doesn't want to give up on their relationship and how he couldn't ignore her because he wants to try to be friends/ cordial with her since its not in his heart to be mean to people. I told him as long as the lines of communication is open she's going to keep trying. Then I told him that I was uncomfortable and should leave him alone since he seems confused. He then got upset and said "I understand if you don't want to see me on that level anymore but the break up is still fresh and I'm confused but you could at least be a friend until I sort things out. I told him that I like him but I'm not going to wait for you because it's unfair to me. He said that he really likes me too but he doesn't want to build anything with me based on lies and hope I could appreciate him being honest. I told him I'll just be a friend and give him space while he sort things out. He said ok.
He would continue to reach out to me everyday asking me how I'm doing, how's work, just small talk etc.

Yesterday I went out with my two best friends to celebrate one of their birthdays. He has them on Facebook as well so he can see all their posts and status. My friends posted a few pics of us from the birthday celebration. A few hours later he contacted me to say hi then told me that he heard that I got other guys numbers at the party. I asked him how he knows that and who gave him that info. He says "don't worry about how I know we have mutual friends but it's all good". I then tell him "regardless if I met other guys or not the last I checked I'm single and we are not dating so it doesn't matter. Plus I went with two friends who you don't even speak to so no one told you anything so don't try to play mind games with me." He then says "you have a guilty conscientious and just mad cause I found out". I then said "no one told you anything, you're just mad because I'm not falling for your mind game. I'm single and can do what I want and you still can't figure out your feelings with your ex so don't be concerned with who I'm talking to." He then says "you got it, I'm going to disappear". Then I said "ok". I told my friends about it and they just laughed. They haven't spoken to him in a while but I already knew he just wanted to stir up something.

What was he expecting me to say?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-19-2015, 04:04 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
1,818 posts, read 2,055,672 times
Reputation: 2769
He sounds really immature. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. He has NO claims on you, yet he expects you to patiently wait around while he sorts his feelings out for his ex? And you're not supposed to be able to go out and enjoy your life as a single person? That's crazy. He's acting like he owns you.

Walk away.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-19-2015, 04:06 PM
Status: " 💪🏽 🥥" (set 25 days ago)
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
13,665 posts, read 11,133,682 times
Reputation: 24246
You already know what's the score is. I don't know why you need to ask a bunch of strangers.

Ignore and move on with your life.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-19-2015, 04:09 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 35,071,469 times
Reputation: 42372
Possessive of you while he decides whether to give his ex one more shot? Next. Just be blase in a friendly way from now on. No more gotcha! nonsense from that goob.

Also: Nice Guy(tm) alert.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-19-2015, 04:09 PM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,056 posts, read 7,986,116 times
Reputation: 11450
Wow, he sounds really immature. You REALLY dodged a bullet!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-19-2015, 04:11 PM
 
6,822 posts, read 3,148,905 times
Reputation: 2379
He made his decision. He does not get to involve himself in yours. You can control who see's any picture you are tagged in on FB.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-19-2015, 05:11 PM
 
Location: NYC
176 posts, read 690,217 times
Reputation: 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
Just be blase in a friendly way from now on. No more gotcha! nonsense from that goob.
The good thing is that I don't have to worry about him anymore because he said he's disappearing. So that takes care of that.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-19-2015, 06:22 PM
 
203 posts, read 130,379 times
Reputation: 204
Yes, posting this on this forum, is a sure sign you dont care anymore.
Right
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-19-2015, 07:13 PM
 
Location: NYC
176 posts, read 690,217 times
Reputation: 121
I never said I didn't care. The poster above said something about the next time I speak to him and I said I don't have to worry because he said he was disappearing.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-19-2015, 09:00 PM
 
324 posts, read 297,410 times
Reputation: 630
He sounds like a bit of a trouble maker.

You're handling this the right way and your feelings are spot on: He's confused about his ex. That alone is enough to steer clear of this. Given his actions with you, they sound perfect for each other.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top