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Old 01-20-2015, 08:07 PM
 
4,608 posts, read 3,562,933 times
Reputation: 4037

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
I'm an INTJ.

I'm not shy, but I prefer more alone time than most.
Well, my point being (seconding the one you made and contrary to halfamazing's post), you're going to see a lot of them arguing on internet forums. Especially the "I" and "J".
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Old 01-20-2015, 08:49 PM
 
Location: Jupiter
9,710 posts, read 5,628,063 times
Reputation: 7291
Quote:
Originally Posted by stava View Post
I do not think of men as clowns. Again, this was not created to be a man-bashing thread. I love men.
It sure does seem like one. Seems like whenever you don't get what you want, you put men down. We don't exist for your entertainment.
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Old 01-20-2015, 09:22 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
1,818 posts, read 2,043,011 times
Reputation: 2769
Quote:
Originally Posted by 49ersfan27 View Post
It sure does seem like one. Seems like whenever you don't get what you want, you put men down. We don't exist for your entertainment.
You are taking this far too personally, and generalizing.
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Old 01-20-2015, 09:34 PM
 
Location: Jupiter
9,710 posts, read 5,628,063 times
Reputation: 7291
Quote:
Originally Posted by stava View Post
You are taking this far too personally, and generalizing.
And if a man bashed a woman on here, you'd be ready to play victim. Of course I take this personally.
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Old 01-20-2015, 09:39 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
1,818 posts, read 2,043,011 times
Reputation: 2769
Quote:
Originally Posted by 49ersfan27 View Post
And if a man bashed a woman on here, you'd be ready to play victim. Of course I take this personally.
Again, you are freaking out about this. I would not be ready to "play victim". I'm not attacking or hating on anyone. I posted this because I've dated a lot and have many guy friends who have been on unsuccessful dates where the date was a flop because of what they DIDN'T do. But they didn't KNOW they weren't stepping up to the plate. I'm giving guys the perspective of a woman so that they might be able to SUCCEED better with women. Of course not ALL guys need this advice, but some definitely do. This isn't gender wars. I'm just putting information out there. So don't take it personally!
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Old 01-20-2015, 09:45 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
72,663 posts, read 64,111,757 times
Reputation: 68415
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76 View Post
Gee, I never considered it anyone's responsibility to make the date a success. I always figured that if we got along well, enjoyed each other's sense of humor, were comfortable with each other - the date would take care of itself.
But what are the parties involved to do if the date doesn't go well? If the date doesn't even get off the ground, hardly? What to do in that case? That's why this thread was created. Dates don't always go well, things don't always fall into place. What then?
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Old 01-20-2015, 09:48 PM
 
Location: Outside of Chicago
4,598 posts, read 3,747,366 times
Reputation: 6548
Quote:
Originally Posted by stava View Post
I had a date this weekend that was probably the biggest dud of a date I've ever been on. Let me tell the men something that will help you get to the second date:
Avoid bossy, narcissistic women?

Quote:
Originally Posted by stava View Post
MAKE HER FEEL COMFORTABLE. Ask questions about her. Make an effort to put her at ease. Act interested.

Yes, you might be shy or horribly nervous. Maybe your social skills aren't that great. But a first date is the time to put these shortcomings aside and make an effort to make HER feel special. The more you get stuck in yourself, paralyzed by your insecurities, the less your date is going to feel welcome, safe, and wanted in your presence. She doesn't know that you're nervous - all she knows is that you seem uncomfortable and can't get out of your own head enough to focus on her needs.

Make it a point to practice selflessness on your next date. Think along the lines of, "How can I make this night great for HER? How can I show her that she is special to me?" THAT is the way to a woman's heart.

Simple, but you'd be surprised how many guys don't get this.
Cool story...the moral of the story is that you're such a precious snowflake that the world revolves around you.
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Old 01-20-2015, 09:49 PM
 
25 posts, read 17,924 times
Reputation: 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by stava View Post
Again, you are freaking out about this. I would not be ready to "play victim". I'm not attacking or hating on anyone. I posted this because I've dated a lot and have many guy friends who have been on unsuccessful dates where the date was a flop because of what they DIDN'T do. But they didn't KNOW they weren't stepping up to the plate.
In this case we're talking about nervous guys, and you don't think guys who are nervous know about the fact that their nerves are offputting to women. Trust me most of the time they know that VERY clearly.

Your advice is completely vague though.
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Old 01-20-2015, 11:16 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,199 posts, read 20,108,653 times
Reputation: 22092
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
But what are the parties involved to do if the date doesn't go well? If the date doesn't even get off the ground, hardly? What to do in that case? That's why this thread was created. Dates don't always go well, things don't always fall into place. What then?
They can either have another go at it to see if things go better or just leave it be. Not all dates are going to lead to a relationship. Not everyone is compatible with everyone else. I went out with a guy once - I didn't think of it as a date but I think he did - and he was extremely socially awkward. He barely said 2 words to me. So I basically talked incessantly just to keep the conversation flowing. It was really awkward. But I'm also a very outgoing, talkative person - so I can usually keep things afloat no matter what. I would imagine that if you got two shy people together - that might not always be the case. You live and you learn. Even if the guy I went out with had been more at ease or spoken more - we still were not right for each other. No big deal.
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Old 01-20-2015, 11:50 PM
 
Location: Jupiter
9,710 posts, read 5,628,063 times
Reputation: 7291
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76 View Post
They can either have another go at it to see if things go better or just leave it be. Not all dates are going to lead to a relationship. Not everyone is compatible with everyone else. I went out with a guy once - I didn't think of it as a date but I think he did - and he was extremely socially awkward. He barely said 2 words to me. So I basically talked incessantly just to keep the conversation flowing. It was really awkward. But I'm also a very outgoing, talkative person - so I can usually keep things afloat no matter what. I would imagine that if you got two shy people together - that might not always be the case. You live and you learn. Even if the guy I went out with had been more at ease or spoken more - we still were not right for each other. No big deal.
You probably scared him. I'm like the guy you described. If a woman comes on very strong, it startles me. If you're beautiful (which I'm probably sure you are) he's was probably afraid of you.
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