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Old 01-19-2015, 06:26 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
1,818 posts, read 2,049,282 times
Reputation: 2769

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Quote:
Originally Posted by 49ersfan27 View Post
Why would he call her again? She said there was no chemistry between them after the date. I don't know about you, but I would delete her number and never call a woman again after she said that.
If there is no chemistry, I am always direct about that. I would rather get it direct, too. It's more respectful that way. Fading on someone is cowardly.
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Old 01-19-2015, 06:26 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, Arizona
286 posts, read 228,556 times
Reputation: 185
Quote:
Originally Posted by stava View Post
I had a date this weekend that was probably the biggest dud of a date I've ever been on. Let me tell the men something that will help you get to the second date:

MAKE HER FEEL COMFORTABLE. Ask questions about her. Make an effort to put her at ease. Act interested.

Yes, you might be shy or horribly nervous. Maybe your social skills aren't that great. But a first date is the time to put these shortcomings aside and make an effort to make HER feel special. The more you get stuck in yourself, paralyzed by your insecurities, the less your date is going to feel welcome, safe, and wanted in your presence. She doesn't know that you're nervous - all she knows is that you seem uncomfortable and can't get out of your own head enough to focus on her needs.

Make it a point to practice selflessness on your next date. Think along the lines of, "How can I make this night great for HER? How can I show her that she is special to me?" THAT is the way to a woman's heart.

Simple, but you'd be surprised how many guys don't get this.
Maybe you were as interesting as watching paint dry. I had a date like that once. She just couldn't converse, cultural references flew over her head, she wasn't very knowledgeable or wordily. Her awkwardness made me functionally awkward. I couldn't wait to get out of there.
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Old 01-19-2015, 06:27 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
1,818 posts, read 2,049,282 times
Reputation: 2769
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryborg View Post
Maybe you were as interesting as watching paint dry. I had a date like that once. She just couldn't converse, cultural references flew over her head, she wasn't very knowledgeable or wordily. Her awkwardness made me functionally awkward. I couldn't wait to get out of there.
You haven't read the thread.
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Old 01-19-2015, 06:34 PM
 
Location: Alexandria, VA
2,380 posts, read 2,847,560 times
Reputation: 2832
I like to be made to feel special. Thats the only way Ill feel comfortable making him feel special. Tit for tat. Gotta please tit first to get tat.
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Old 01-19-2015, 06:35 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
1,818 posts, read 2,049,282 times
Reputation: 2769
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yiuppy View Post
I like to be made to feel special. Thats the only way Ill feel comfortable making him feel special. Tit for tat. Gotta please tit first to get tat.
Ha!
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Old 01-19-2015, 06:40 PM
 
Location: Clovis Strong, NM
3,374 posts, read 4,561,246 times
Reputation: 1953
I'll be honest.
I can start conversations, but I end all of them the way I usually do.

Have a nice night now!!!

I may come off as quirky, weirdo, jabbering on about whatever pops into the mind.
I'll even ask them what they do, how they got "here", and what do they plan on getting out of this mission.

As far as how to ask them about "going out"? I have no clue as to what way to ask that without completely caving in whatever structure I built up.

In the end, I shake it off, take a shower, cry in bed with my kitty, and go to sleep, the end!!!
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Old 01-19-2015, 06:41 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, Arizona
286 posts, read 228,556 times
Reputation: 185
Quote:
Originally Posted by stava View Post
You haven't read the thread.
Nor do I care to.

Cool story, though.
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Old 01-19-2015, 06:41 PM
 
Location: Montana
783 posts, read 600,542 times
Reputation: 1296
Quote:
Originally Posted by stava View Post
He told me that he was very interested, but that he let his nerves get the better of him.
Well if he was interested then I guess he just failed to impress and it wasn't from lack of interest from his part. Be honest here, was the whole date you testing him to see if he was good enough for you or were you also putting your best foot forward? There's a lot of women out there who view dating as all about the man trying to be good enough for her instead of being a two way date.
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Old 01-19-2015, 06:59 PM
 
6,831 posts, read 4,426,984 times
Reputation: 11993
Quote:
Originally Posted by stava View Post
... But a first date is the time to put these shortcomings aside and make an effort to make HER feel special. ...

Make it a point to practice selflessness on your next date. Think along the lines of, "How can I make this night great for HER? How can I show her that she is special to me?" THAT is the way to a woman's heart.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stava View Post
But a guy can go out of his way for a girl in a genuine manner - it's not always a front. I don't think suspiciously of a guy's intentions when he's trying to impress me.
I understand the utility of good decorum. No treaties are successfully negotiated without diplomacy. No favorable deals are sealed without requisite solicitousness and tact. But pray tell: to what extent is the expected politeness a ruse? If I feel no genuine affection for my lady, is not my "effort" cant and craft? And if affection's genuine, then is it not equally true, that no effort is required, as my fondness conveys its own message, unencumbered by affected prompting?

In sum, no effort is required; none. If effort seems to be imperative, then it's misplaced. And when a worthy thing needs doing, it comes without the urge of effort.
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Old 01-19-2015, 07:12 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
1,818 posts, read 2,049,282 times
Reputation: 2769
Quote:
Originally Posted by Montanaguy04 View Post
Well if he was interested then I guess he just failed to impress and it wasn't from lack of interest from his part. Be honest here, was the whole date you testing him to see if he was good enough for you or were you also putting your best foot forward? There's a lot of women out there who view dating as all about the man trying to be good enough for her instead of being a two way date.
I was in no way testing him. I approach all my dates with my best foot forward and I don't play games.
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